Overcoming Shoe Fetishism: A Journey to Mental Wellness - Psychiatry

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Foot fetishism for women's boots?


Hello Dr.
Liang, I have had a shoe fetish for about 10 years, with a particular preference for one color (black), and I find other colors unappealing.
Even though I know this is an unhealthy inclination, I still ordered a pair online after the Lunar New Year in 2018.
I wore them during my personal time off (when my parents were at work) and even wore them out for errands.
As I approach my thirties, I genuinely want to overcome this but feel powerless.
I'm unsure of what to do.

A Li, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/03/30

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry


Hello, Ali: It is recommended to develop other interests and hobbies to enjoy the pleasure that comes from acceptable activities, which can help dilute the thoughts related to this obsession.
When you find more enjoyment in other activities, the original thoughts will typically diminish and fade away.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2018/03/30

More Info


Overcoming shoe fetishism can be a complex journey, as it often intertwines with psychological factors and personal identity. It's important to understand that fetishism, including a shoe fetish, is not uncommon and can manifest in various ways. The key to addressing this issue lies in recognizing the underlying motivations and feelings associated with the fetish, as well as developing healthier coping mechanisms.

Firstly, it’s essential to acknowledge that having a fetish does not inherently mean there is something wrong with you. Many people have specific preferences or attractions that they may not fully understand. However, when a fetish begins to interfere with daily life, relationships, or personal well-being, it may be time to seek help. In your case, the desire to overcome this fetish indicates a level of self-awareness and a willingness to change, which is a positive first step.

One effective approach to managing and potentially overcoming a shoe fetish is through cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). This form of therapy focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviors. A therapist can help you explore the origins of your fetish, understand the emotions tied to it, and develop strategies to cope with urges. For instance, you might work on reframing your thoughts about shoes and finding alternative sources of pleasure or excitement that do not involve the fetish.

Additionally, mindfulness practices can be beneficial. Mindfulness encourages you to stay present and aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. By practicing mindfulness, you can learn to observe your urges without acting on them, which can help reduce their power over you. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or even engaging in physical activities can redirect your focus and energy.

Support groups can also provide a sense of community and understanding. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can help you feel less isolated and more empowered in your journey. Sharing your struggles and successes with others can provide motivation and accountability.

It's also important to examine the role of shoes in your life. Consider what they represent to you and how they make you feel. Are they a source of comfort, security, or excitement? Understanding these associations can help you find healthier alternatives that fulfill those emotional needs without relying on the fetish.

In terms of practical steps, you might start by gradually reducing your exposure to the specific shoes that trigger your fetish. This could mean limiting the time you spend wearing them or finding alternative footwear that you find comfortable but does not elicit the same feelings. You could also explore new hobbies or interests that can distract you from the fixation on shoes.

Lastly, if you find that your attempts to overcome this fetish are met with significant resistance or distress, it may be beneficial to consult with a mental health professional who specializes in sexual health or fetishism. They can provide tailored guidance and support to help you navigate this journey effectively.

In conclusion, overcoming a shoe fetish is a personal journey that requires self-reflection, support, and possibly professional help. By understanding the underlying emotions, practicing mindfulness, and exploring alternative sources of fulfillment, you can work towards a healthier relationship with your desires. Remember, change takes time, and being patient with yourself is crucial as you navigate this process.

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