Fetishism: Navigating Excitement and Self-Acceptance - Psychiatry

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Is it a fetish?


It seems that you are experiencing a specific sexual interest or fetish related to hosiery and women's underwear.
It's important to understand that having such interests is not uncommon, and many people have different preferences.
If you find that this behavior is causing you distress or interfering with your daily life, it might be helpful to speak with a mental health professional who specializes in sexual health.
They can provide guidance and support to help you understand and manage your feelings in a healthy way.

Xiao Sheng, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2015/07/06

Dr. Dai Wanxiang reply Psychiatry


Hello, Xiaosheng: The phenomenon you mentioned is indeed a form of fetishism.
In a broad sense, fetishism exists in many individuals and is even a part of socially and culturally accepted practices, such as the historical Chinese male fascination with foot binding.
Fetishism can evoke sexual impulses, and it is not an uncommon phenomenon.
Generally, it is considered a problem only when the fetishistic tendencies cause distress in the individual's personal emotions, social interactions, or professional relationships, or when there are legal issues involved, necessitating the assistance of a professional physician or psychologist.
If your situation remains within legal boundaries and does not negatively impact yourself or others, similar to masturbation, there may not be a need for excessive concern.
Sometimes, as one matures, the development of a harmonious and pleasurable intimate relationship with the opposite sex can also improve the aforementioned situation.

Reply Date: 2015/07/06

More Info


Fetishism is a complex and often misunderstood aspect of human sexuality. It refers to a condition where an individual derives sexual pleasure from a specific object, body part, or activity that is not typically considered sexual in nature. In your case, the excitement you feel when seeing stockings or women's underwear falls within this spectrum. It's important to understand that having a fetish is not inherently problematic; many people have fetishes, and they can be a normal part of sexual expression.

First and foremost, it's crucial to recognize that sexual preferences and desires vary widely among individuals. What you are experiencing is a form of sexual arousal that is tied to specific objects, which is a common occurrence. Many people find that certain materials, like silk or lace, or specific garments, such as stockings or lingerie, can evoke feelings of excitement and arousal. This can be linked to various psychological factors, including the associations we create with these items, cultural influences, and personal experiences.

The key to navigating your feelings about fetishism is self-acceptance. It's essential to acknowledge your desires without judgment. Here are some steps you can take to better understand and accept your feelings:
1. Educate Yourself: Understanding the psychology behind fetishism can help demystify your feelings. Reading literature on human sexuality, including academic articles or books by sex therapists, can provide insight into why certain objects or scenarios evoke arousal.

2. Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to think about what these objects mean to you. Are they tied to specific memories or experiences? Understanding the emotional context of your fetish can help you accept it as part of who you are.

3. Communicate Openly: If you are in a relationship or considering one, open communication with your partner about your desires is vital. Discussing your interests can foster intimacy and understanding, and it may lead to a more fulfilling sexual experience for both of you.

4. Explore Safely: If you feel comfortable, consider exploring your fetish in a safe and consensual manner. This could involve purchasing items that excite you or incorporating them into your sexual experiences. Ensure that any exploration respects your boundaries and those of others.

5. Seek Professional Guidance: If your fetish causes you distress or interferes with your daily life, consider speaking with a mental health professional who specializes in sexual health. They can help you navigate your feelings and provide strategies for self-acceptance.

6. Practice Self-Compassion: It's essential to be kind to yourself. Many people have unique sexual preferences, and having a fetish does not define your worth or character. Embrace your individuality and recognize that your desires are a part of your human experience.

7. Connect with Communities: There are various online and offline communities where individuals with similar interests share experiences and support one another. Engaging with these communities can help you feel less isolated and provide a sense of belonging.

In conclusion, fetishism is a normal variation of human sexuality, and it is essential to approach it with understanding and acceptance. By educating yourself, reflecting on your feelings, and communicating openly, you can navigate your desires in a healthy and fulfilling way. Remember, the goal is to embrace who you are and find ways to integrate your interests into your life positively.

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