Is It Serious? Mental Health Struggles and Solutions - Psychiatry

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Is it serious?


I force others to say what I want.
I feel depressed every day, suffering constantly, often locking myself in my room without doing much, only thinking negative thoughts.
As I think, thoughts arise in my mind: my life has no meaning, and if I die, I wouldn't have to suffer so much.
My son became an angel last year, and I could reunite with him.
Without him, I can't lift myself up, and I'm no longer happy.
When many things happen at once, I become very irritable and anxious.
I am a perfectionist, impatient with everything, and I have a bad temper.
When I can't stand it, I hit the wall, and if I can't solve a problem, I become very anxious.
I really want to cry, laugh, and shout out loud, but I can't.
Most of the time, I suppress my feelings.
Sometimes, even when I'm not feeling bad, I suddenly feel tightness in my chest, followed by sweating, then I start to gasp for air, and eventually, I hyperventilate, leading to numbness in my limbs.
In the end, an ambulance has to come to rescue me.
I find it comforting to try to stop breathing.
I enjoy speeding; I never ride slowly.
I always ride with headphones, blasting music at maximum volume, which has led to some hearing loss.
My hands and feet tremble unconsciously.
I often hear the sound of garbage trucks at night, and I know it's a hallucination.
How can I improve this?
In terms of relationships, I don't feel pain when I end things with men because relationships aren't that important to me.
However, if I'm the one being dumped, I feel very resentful.
It's not to the point of crying, but it feels like a blow to me.
When I am at a major intersection (an open road) or by the sea, surrounded by garages with metal roll-up doors, and I look around while riding my bike and suddenly see there are no streetlights, I become extremely frightened and have difficulty breathing.
Am I already in a serious condition? I have been dealing with these issues for over ten years, from middle school until now, which is why I usually stay indoors.
When I go out, it's either to speed or to ride around the entire Taoyuan area.
I enjoy being alone.

Ke Xin, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/07/14

Dr. Qiu Junda reply Psychiatry


Hello.
The text indicates that you have been experiencing long-term negative emotions such as anxiety and depression, which have significantly affected your daily life and mental health.
It is recommended that you seek treatment at a mental health clinic as soon as possible.
If that is not convenient, please consider reaching out to Teacher Chang (1980) or the Lifeline (1995) hotline.
They can also provide counseling, consultation, and referral services to help you address your concerns.

Reply Date: 2018/07/14

More Info


It sounds like you are experiencing a significant amount of emotional distress and mental health challenges. Your feelings of depression, anxiety, and the overwhelming sense of hopelessness are serious and warrant attention. The symptoms you describe, such as feeling trapped in negative thoughts, experiencing panic attacks, and having physical reactions like chest tightness and sweating, indicate that you may be dealing with anxiety disorders, depression, or even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) due to the loss of your son.

Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge the profound grief you are experiencing after the loss of your child. Losing a loved one, especially a child, can lead to intense feelings of sadness, anger, and despair. It’s not uncommon for parents to feel as though they cannot move forward after such a loss. The desire to reunite with your son in death is a reflection of the deep pain you are feeling. Grief can manifest in many ways, including depression, anxiety, and even physical symptoms.

Your description of feeling the need to control others and your perfectionist tendencies suggests that you may be struggling with feelings of powerlessness in your life. When we face overwhelming situations, such as the loss of a loved one, it can lead to a desire to exert control over other aspects of our lives. This can create a cycle of frustration and anxiety, especially when things do not go as planned.

The physical symptoms you are experiencing, such as panic attacks, are also concerning. Panic attacks can be debilitating and often lead to avoidance behaviors, where individuals may isolate themselves to prevent triggering an attack. This isolation can further exacerbate feelings of depression and anxiety, creating a vicious cycle.

It’s crucial to seek professional help. A mental health professional can provide you with the support and tools necessary to navigate your grief and mental health struggles. Therapy can be a safe space for you to express your feelings and work through your grief. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for anxiety and depression, as it helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns.

Medication may also be an option to consider. Antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications can help alleviate some of the symptoms you are experiencing, making it easier for you to engage in therapy and begin the healing process. It’s essential to discuss these options with a psychiatrist or a healthcare provider who can assess your situation and provide personalized recommendations.

In addition to professional help, consider reaching out to support groups for grieving parents. Connecting with others who have experienced similar losses can provide comfort and understanding. It’s important to know that you are not alone in your feelings and that there are people who can relate to your experiences.

Lastly, while it’s understandable to want to escape your pain through activities like racing or isolating yourself, it’s vital to find healthier coping mechanisms. Engaging in physical activity, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and exploring creative outlets can help you process your emotions in a more constructive way.

In summary, your feelings and experiences are valid, and it’s essential to seek help. You deserve support and guidance as you navigate this difficult time. Remember, healing is a journey, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time.

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