Virginity and Sexual Desire
I am 37 years old and still a virgin.
I often have sexual urges and am considering engaging in sex work.
What should I do or how should I address this issue, doctor?
bu, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2019/03/03
Dr. Xiao Yongxun reply Family Medicine
Dear Sir:
1.
Regarding this issue, I may not be able to provide very practical advice; therefore, I still recommend discussing it with your family physician or urologist.
2.
Due to the presence of hormones and other related physiological functions in the body, a normal human being will experience sexual desire; medically, we believe there is nothing wrong with this, and it would be unusual if there were no sexual desire at all.
3.
In terms of how to cope with this natural phenomenon, our educational system generally advises engaging in healthy leisure activities and exercise.
In reality, it is still impossible to completely avoid strong sexual urges.
Therefore, occasional masturbation is acceptable; as long as it is not excessive, it does not harm the body.
4.
If seeking companionship or other avenues, I personally recommend that safe sex practices are essential; this means using condoms throughout the entire sexual encounter to prevent the transmission of various sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
5.
The above discussion is purely based on medical practice and does not involve moral or other considerations.
Reply Date: 2019/03/03
More Info
Understanding and managing sexual desire, especially for adult virgins, can be a complex and sensitive topic. It is completely normal to experience sexual urges, regardless of your sexual history. At 37, feeling sexual desire is a natural part of human biology, driven by hormones and psychological factors. Here are some insights and recommendations on how to navigate these feelings in a healthy and constructive manner.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
First and foremost, it’s important to acknowledge that having sexual desires is a normal part of being human. Sexual urges can arise from various factors, including hormonal changes, emotional needs, and even social influences. Understanding that these feelings are natural can help reduce any shame or confusion you may feel about being a virgin at your age.
Explore Healthy Outlets
1. Masturbation: Self-pleasure is a common and healthy way to explore your sexuality. It allows you to understand your body better and can help relieve sexual tension without the risks associated with sexual encounters with others. As long as it is done in moderation, masturbation is considered a safe outlet for sexual desire.
2. Physical Activity: Engaging in regular physical exercise can help manage sexual urges. Exercise releases endorphins, which can improve your mood and reduce stress. It can also help you feel more confident in your body, which may positively affect your self-image and sexual confidence.
3. Social Activities: Participating in social activities or hobbies can help distract you from sexual urges and provide opportunities to meet new people. Building friendships can lead to romantic relationships in a more organic and less pressured environment.
Consider Professional Guidance
If you find that your sexual desires are overwhelming or leading you to consider risky behaviors, such as seeking out sex work, it may be beneficial to speak with a healthcare professional. A family doctor or a mental health professional can provide guidance tailored to your specific situation. They can help you explore the underlying reasons for your desires and suggest coping strategies.
Safe Sexual Practices
If you decide to pursue sexual encounters, it is crucial to prioritize safety. If you consider engaging with sex workers, be aware of the legal and health risks involved. Always practice safe sex by using condoms to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unintended pregnancies.
Understanding Sexual Fantasies
Watching adult films and having sexual fantasies is also a normal part of human sexuality. These fantasies can serve as a safe way to explore your desires without acting on them in real life. However, it's essential to differentiate between fantasy and reality. If you find that your fantasies are leading you to consider actions that make you uncomfortable or that you feel are unsafe, it may be helpful to reflect on these feelings and discuss them with a professional.
Addressing Emotional Needs
Sometimes, sexual desire can be linked to emotional needs, such as the desire for intimacy or connection. If you feel lonely or isolated, consider exploring avenues for building emotional connections with others. This could involve dating, joining clubs, or participating in community events. Building emotional intimacy can sometimes alleviate the pressure to seek out sexual encounters purely for physical satisfaction.
Conclusion
In summary, experiencing sexual desire at any age is normal, and there are healthy ways to manage these feelings. Engaging in self-exploration, seeking social connections, and considering professional guidance can all contribute to a healthier understanding of your sexuality. Remember that it’s important to prioritize your well-being and safety as you navigate your sexual desires. If you have further concerns or questions, don’t hesitate to reach out to a healthcare professional for support.
Similar Q&A
Navigating Loneliness: Advice for the Unmarried and Unfulfilled
I am in my 30s and have never had a girlfriend. However, there are indeed some historical figures, such as Kant and Newton, who remained unmarried throughout their lives. A psychologist once asked me how I deal with my sexual urges, and I simply mentioned masturbation. In other w...
Dr. Wu Peijun reply Psychiatry
The issues between genders are quite complex, and from your letter, I cannot clearly grasp the nature of your concerns. I recommend consulting a psychiatrist for a comprehensive evaluation and appropriate professional advice.[Read More] Navigating Loneliness: Advice for the Unmarried and Unfulfilled
Understanding and Addressing Unconventional Sexual Fantasies: A Guide
I'm sorry, but I can't assist with that.
Dr. Huang Xiaoxian reply Psychiatry
Dear Ryan, thank you for your question. Regarding the issue you mentioned, sexuality is often filled with taboo elements that can evoke excitement, and desires can sometimes stem from more primal reflexive thoughts. This is quite common among many individuals. Naturally, when the...[Read More] Understanding and Addressing Unconventional Sexual Fantasies: A Guide
Overcoming Guilt and Anxiety Surrounding Sexuality: A Guide for Young Adults
Hello Dr. Chen, I am 28 years old and have always been more introverted. I remember an incident in middle school when a girl I got along well with accidentally touched my hand, and I quickly pulled my hand back, saying, "It's inappropriate for boys and girls to be too...
Dr. Chen Mingzhe reply Psychiatry
Dear Little Bean: Freud, known as the "father of the theory of psychotherapy in psychiatry," proposed the "theory of drives," which includes four fundamental drives: the drive for survival, the drive for death, the sexual drive, and the aggressive drive. These...[Read More] Overcoming Guilt and Anxiety Surrounding Sexuality: A Guide for Young Adults
Navigating Relationships and Sexual Urges: A Mental Health Perspective
When I interact with women, I often want to ask if they have a boyfriend and if we could consider dating. Sometimes, I experience sexual urges, which I know are normal. I have been masturbating since I was young, and now at forty years old, I am still a virgin and have only recei...
Dr. Wang Yaoting reply Psychiatry
Hello: Most boys actually learn how to interact with the opposite sex gradually during their development. If some primal urges are difficult to control, it is advisable to use alternative methods to manage them, such as engaging in physical exercise to tire oneself out, which can...[Read More] Navigating Relationships and Sexual Urges: A Mental Health Perspective
Related FAQ
(Family Medicine)
Masturbation(Family Medicine)
Sexual Dysfunction(Traditional Chinese Medicine)
Sexual Fantasies(Psychiatry)
Masturbation(Internal Medicine)
Oral Sex(Otolaryngology)
Sexual Climax(Urology)
Sexually Transmitted Infections(Internal Medicine)
Sexual Intercourse(Obstetrics and Gynecology)
Anus(Family Medicine)