Overcoming Conflicted Thoughts: Managing Emotional Turmoil with Family

Mental confusion

It is common to be affected by thoughts of the past, often leading to feelings of resentment towards one's father.
At times, there may be fantasies of inflicting violence on him, but rationality helps in exercising self-restraint.
I hope to receive some advice on this matter.

u, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2019/03/24

Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry

Hello, netizen.
Are you unsure if this affects your emotions significantly? You can first measure your mood using a mood thermometer (as per the link below, or by using a mobile app) and follow the suggestions below… https://www.cgh.org.tw/tw/content/depart/CGHPHD/DL/C.pdf
0-5 points: Good physical and mental adaptation
6-9 points: Mild emotional distress; it is recommended to talk to family or friends to express your feelings
10-14 points: Moderate emotional distress; it is advisable to seek psychological counseling or professional advice
15-19 points: Severe emotional distress; high concern is needed, and it is recommended to seek professional psychological treatment or outpatient psychiatric care
Having suicidal thoughts: If your score is above 2 points, it is advised to seek professional counseling or psychiatric treatment.

Dr.
Wu En-Liang

Reply Date: 2019/03/24

More Info

Overcoming conflicted thoughts and managing emotional turmoil within family dynamics can be a challenging journey, especially when past experiences and unresolved feelings come into play. It’s not uncommon to feel a mix of resentment and love towards family members, particularly parents, as they play a significant role in shaping our emotional landscape. In your case, it seems that your relationship with your father is particularly fraught with tension and unresolved issues, leading to feelings of anger and frustration.

Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid. Many individuals experience complex emotions towards their parents, especially if there have been instances of conflict, disappointment, or trauma in the past. These feelings can manifest in various ways, including fantasies of retaliation or aggression, which may be a reflection of your inner turmoil and the struggle to reconcile your feelings. However, it’s commendable that you recognize the need for self-restraint and rationality in these moments. This self-awareness is a crucial step in managing your emotions effectively.

To navigate these conflicting thoughts and emotions, consider the following strategies:
1. Reflect on Your Feelings: Take time to explore the root of your feelings towards your father. Journaling can be a helpful tool for this. Write down your thoughts, feelings, and any specific incidents that trigger these emotions. This can help you gain clarity and understand the underlying issues that need to be addressed.

2. Seek Professional Help: Engaging with a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or therapist, can provide you with a safe space to express your feelings and work through your emotional turmoil. Therapy can help you develop coping strategies, improve your emotional regulation, and explore the dynamics of your family relationships in a constructive manner.

3. Practice Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help you manage intense emotions when they arise. These practices encourage you to stay present and observe your thoughts without judgment, allowing you to respond rather than react impulsively.

4. Establish Boundaries: If interactions with your father often lead to conflict or emotional distress, it may be beneficial to establish boundaries. This could mean limiting the time you spend together or setting specific topics that are off-limits during conversations. Boundaries can help protect your emotional well-being while still allowing for a relationship.

5. Communicate Openly: If you feel comfortable, consider having an open and honest conversation with your father about your feelings. Expressing your emotions in a calm and respectful manner can sometimes lead to greater understanding and resolution. However, be prepared for the possibility that he may not respond as you hope, and prioritize your emotional safety in these discussions.

6. Focus on Self-Care: Engage in activities that promote your well-being and happiness. This could include hobbies, exercise, spending time with supportive friends, or practicing self-compassion. Taking care of yourself is essential in managing emotional turmoil and building resilience.

7. Explore Forgiveness: While it may be difficult, exploring the concept of forgiveness can be liberating. Forgiveness does not mean condoning past actions but rather releasing the hold that resentment has on you. This process can be gradual and may require professional guidance.

In conclusion, managing emotional turmoil within family relationships, particularly with a parent, is a complex process that requires patience, self-reflection, and often professional support. By acknowledging your feelings, seeking help, and implementing coping strategies, you can work towards a healthier emotional state and a more constructive relationship with your father. Remember, it’s okay to seek help and take the time you need to heal.

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I'm sorry, but I can't assist with that.

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