Do I Need to See a Psychiatrist? Mental Health Struggles

Do I need to see a doctor?

During my first year of high school, after transferring schools, I found it difficult to keep up with my studies.
I repeatedly told my mother that I wanted to transfer again for a new environment, but my family insisted that it was due to my lack of effort.
My focus and memory worsened, and my efficiency in tasks declined.
I also became reluctant to go out and was forced to attend school every day.
I couldn't remember what I learned in class and gained over ten kilograms.
Eventually, I felt like I was mentally collapsing; I couldn't remember anything and felt like an empty shell, going through life like a zombie.
In class, all I wanted to do was sleep, and I still felt the same when I got home.
At that time, I thought about suicide, but I didn't have the courage.
I was just going through the motions of life, often being told by teachers that I was living in my own world.
In high school, I was even afraid to go to convenience stores alone.
Although I felt a slight improvement in my loneliness during college, I still felt a bit scared of crowds or unfamiliar people.
I often found myself at a loss for words during conversations and would zone out for long periods, doing nothing but staring into space.
After entering the workforce, I forced myself not to overthink, but after about two weeks, I would easily feel down again, which was frustrating.
I felt bored, and even playing games became uninteresting.
Sometimes I couldn't focus on studying for exams, and even though I had no interest in gaming, I would still find myself staring blankly at the screen, not wanting to study.
Although my low mood would fade after three or four days, it would return every few weeks, leaving me feeling restless and bored, preferring to zone out rather than engage in anything.
I felt like life was meaningless.
Sometimes when I watched school-themed shows, I would inexplicably recall those wasted days in high school and wish I could start over.
I don't understand why the memories of my school experiences are mostly unpleasant, while the happy memories are hard to recall.
Could it be that I haven't moved on from the shadows of my high school years? Do I need to see a psychiatrist? That time in high school felt like I had closed off my spirit to avoid getting hurt, but now, after so long, I'm confused about whether I'm better or still struggling.
I often find myself watching videos and remembering those painful days.
My current feelings are contradictory; I know I can't live that way anymore, yet I easily recall those times and feel like crying.
Even though it's in the past, I don't know why I feel a bit sad.
I haven't seen a psychiatrist because I've always been afraid.
I thought I would be fine after leaving high school.
Although I have a couple of friends in college who are willing to listen to me, the feeling of loneliness returns after we hang out and go our separate ways.
I'm often told that I rely too much on others, and I rarely argue with what my friends say, as long as I don't dislike it.
Perhaps I'm afraid of disagreements and losing something.
My friends often say I lack my own opinions.
Now, I'm a bit lost and unsure about what I should do.
I feel confused.

web, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/05/11

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello, based on what you described, experiencing a difficult period during high school and occasionally recalling it is a common phenomenon.
It’s possible that you may still feel somewhat down.
I recommend setting some positive action goals for yourself to encourage progress toward what you desire.
Maintain patience, as the journey may involve challenges and setbacks, but the process of striving toward your goals is meaningful in itself.
Although past experiences and negative thoughts may resurface from time to time, individuals have the capacity to change.
If you continue to feel troubled, especially if it affects your appetite and sleep, it is advisable to seek medical assistance.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2020/05/11

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a significant amount of distress related to your mental health, particularly stemming from your high school experiences. The feelings of anxiety, depression, and disconnection you describe are serious and warrant attention. It’s important to recognize that seeking help from a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, can be a crucial step in understanding and addressing these feelings.

From what you've shared, it seems that your struggles began during a challenging transition in high school, which can be a particularly difficult time for many adolescents. The pressure to perform academically, coupled with feelings of isolation and a lack of support, can lead to a range of mental health issues, including anxiety and depression. The symptoms you describe—difficulty concentrating, memory issues, feelings of emptiness, and a lack of interest in activities you once enjoyed—are common indicators of depression. Additionally, your experiences of feeling overwhelmed in social situations and your tendency to avoid interactions suggest that you may also be dealing with social anxiety.

It's not uncommon for individuals who have faced significant emotional challenges in their formative years to carry those experiences into adulthood. The fact that you often reflect on your high school years with sadness and regret indicates that these memories may still be impacting your current mental state. It’s also worth noting that the feelings of loneliness and reliance on others for validation can contribute to a cycle of anxiety and depression, making it difficult to establish a sense of self-worth and independence.

You mentioned that you have not sought help from a psychiatrist due to fear. This is a common concern, but it’s important to understand that mental health professionals are trained to provide support in a non-judgmental environment. They can help you explore your feelings, develop coping strategies, and work through the underlying issues that may be contributing to your current state. Therapy can be a safe space to process your past experiences and learn how to navigate your emotions more effectively.

In addition to therapy, there are several self-help strategies you might consider. Engaging in regular physical activity, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and maintaining a balanced diet can all contribute positively to your mental health. Journaling your thoughts and feelings can also be a helpful way to process your emotions and gain clarity about your experiences.

It’s crucial to remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. Reaching out to friends or family members who you trust can provide additional support. While it’s understandable to fear judgment or misunderstanding, sharing your feelings with someone you trust can often lighten the emotional load.

In conclusion, based on the symptoms you’ve described and the impact they have on your daily life, it would be beneficial for you to seek help from a mental health professional. They can provide you with the tools and support you need to navigate your feelings and work towards a healthier mindset. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and taking that step can lead to significant improvements in your quality of life.

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