Long-Term Disruptive Symptoms of Life and Learning

Long-term disruptive symptoms of living and learning?

Hello Doctor,
I am a 22-year-old woman.
Since elementary school, I have experienced intrusive thoughts, such as believing that if my right foot is not placed on the top step of the stairs, I will lose my friends (which has led to me being ostracized).
If I do not follow the commands in my mind (like touching the table, stabbing myself with a pencil, or clapping to a certain number), I fear there will be dire consequences.
As I grew older, these thoughts became increasingly severe.
I often feel like someone is hiding in a corner of my home, watching me and monitoring my thoughts.

These intrusive thoughts persist from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep, causing me significant distress.
I constantly grapple with thoughts of being watched and fear that if I do not perform certain actions or make specific choices, something terrible will happen to me or my family.
This leads to a cycle of compulsive behaviors, making it impossible for me to focus on anything else, often leaving me frozen in place.

I frequently take leave from work, have attended three different high schools, and am currently still in college, yet to graduate.
Every day, I struggle with the decision of whether or not to go outside, as I fear that interacting with others will expose me to their negative experiences—not diseases or bacteria, but the burdens of their lives.
My parents and siblings are very traditional and do not support the use of psychiatric medications; they believe there will be side effects and think I am faking my illness.

I am truly, deeply saddened and feel hopeless.
I really do not know how to get through the coming days.
Thank you, Doctor, for listening.
I wish you peace and well-being.

Yan Yan, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/10/05

Dr. Huang Xiaoxian reply Psychiatry

Hello, Yan Yan.
I understand that this fear makes your life quite difficult.
However, these symptoms are treatable.
I recommend that you seek an evaluation from a mental health professional for early intervention.
You can also communicate with healthcare providers and your family for educational support.
There are various treatment options available, and perhaps you can discuss a suitable treatment plan for yourself.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2020/10/05

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a very challenging and distressing situation, and I want to acknowledge the pain and confusion that can come with intrusive thoughts and feelings of being monitored or judged. Your symptoms suggest that you may be dealing with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or a related anxiety disorder, which can significantly impact your daily life, relationships, and overall well-being.

Intrusive thoughts, such as the ones you described—fears of not completing certain actions or rituals leading to dire consequences—are common in OCD. These thoughts can create a cycle of anxiety that compels individuals to engage in compulsive behaviors to alleviate that anxiety, even if those behaviors are irrational or excessive. The feeling of being watched or monitored is also not uncommon in anxiety disorders, where the mind can create scenarios that heighten feelings of paranoia or fear.

Your experience of feeling that you cannot engage in daily activities without succumbing to these intrusive thoughts is a significant indicator that you may benefit from professional help. It's important to understand that these feelings and thoughts are not a reflection of your character or worth; they are symptoms of a mental health condition that can be treated.

The fact that you have been struggling with these thoughts since childhood and that they have intensified over time suggests that it may be crucial to seek help from a mental health professional who specializes in anxiety disorders or OCD. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), particularly exposure and response prevention (ERP), has been shown to be effective in treating OCD. This type of therapy helps individuals gradually face their fears and learn to resist the compulsive behaviors that follow.

Additionally, medication can also be an effective treatment option for OCD and anxiety disorders. While your family may have concerns about the side effects of psychiatric medications, it’s important to have an open dialogue with a psychiatrist who can provide you with information about the benefits and risks. Many individuals find that medication, when combined with therapy, can significantly improve their quality of life.

It’s understandable that you feel unsupported by your family, especially if they hold traditional views about mental health treatment. However, it’s essential to prioritize your well-being. Seeking help from a mental health professional can provide you with the tools and support you need to manage your symptoms and improve your daily functioning.

If you are feeling overwhelmed or have thoughts of self-harm, please reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or a mental health crisis hotline. You are not alone, and there are people who want to help you through this difficult time.

In summary, your experiences suggest that you may be dealing with a mental health condition that can be treated. I encourage you to seek professional help, whether through therapy, medication, or both. Your feelings are valid, and with the right support, it is possible to find relief and regain control over your life. Remember, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, and you deserve to feel better.

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