Please advise?
Dear Dr.
Tang,
I apologize for bothering you again, but I truly don't know what to do and would like to hear your opinion.
1.
My attending physician is able to treat my physical illness (referring to my current non-illness), but he cannot address my psychological issues.
He believes that I won't or don't dare to do "bad things," but that is not necessarily true.
He has not arranged for psychological counseling, so whenever I face psychological dilemmas, I can only seek advice from psychiatrists at Taiwan e-Hospital.
I used to be a very rational person, but after encountering a domineering boss, my psychological stress from salary and work increased significantly, leading to psychosomatic disorders.
I am a person who values reason, but after being reprimanded by someone unreasonable, my condition worsened.
As a result, I have become a cold and unfeeling person, often contemplating how to take revenge on him.
The only thing that could bring me back to my former self is reason! Regardless of who counsels me, it seems ineffective; only when I am convinced can I resolve the hatred and resentment in my heart.
2.
This year, I registered for the unified entrance exam, but sometimes I feel mentally unable to focus on studying.
I often experienced this during my psychosomatic disorder, and I wonder if it is related.
I graduated from an ordinary school, and I genuinely want to attend a better school than before, but I know it may not be possible.
I also do not want to attend a subpar institution.
What should I do?
Xiao Jie, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2003/02/09
Dr. Tang Xinbei reply Psychiatry
Dear Xiao Jie,
Your first concern seems to stem from the belief that your issues are a result of your former boss treating you poorly, which has exacerbated your condition and led you to adopt a self-isolating approach, making it difficult for you to heed others' advice or opinions.
You may even harbor strong feelings of resentment and thoughts of revenge towards this boss who you believe has worsened your situation.
I strongly advise you to abandon such thoughts.
Regardless of the past, what you can do now is focus on improving yourself.
Even if you were to take revenge on that person, it would not make you better; in fact, it might make things worse! Remaining trapped in feelings of hatred and resentment only drains your energy and diverts your focus away from what truly matters, which is likely why you find it hard to concentrate on your studies.
I suggest you set a specific goal for your future (such as what level of school you wish to attend), then assess your abilities and analyze the efforts required to achieve that goal.
Next, develop a plan and steps to work towards it (for example, how many pages of which books you need to read each day).
Additionally, periodically (such as weekly or monthly) review your efforts, plans, and steps.
If the methods you are using are not effective, try different approaches or consider whether your abilities align with the initial goal you set.
You might also want to think about adjusting your goals.
I apologize for the delayed response, as I will be going to the United States for a short two-week study program soon and have been busy handling related matters.
Wishing you peace, joy, and all the best!
Reply Date: 2003/02/09
More Info
Navigating mental health challenges can be particularly daunting, especially when compounded by external pressures such as work-related stress and personal expectations. Your situation reflects a common struggle many face, particularly in a high-pressure environment like Taiwan. Here are some insights and suggestions that may help you on your journey toward better mental health.
Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge the impact of your work environment on your mental health. Working under a domineering boss can create significant stress and lead to feelings of helplessness and frustration. This can manifest as somatic symptoms, which you mentioned as "身心症" (psychosomatic disorders). It’s crucial to understand that your feelings are valid and that the stress you experience is a legitimate response to your circumstances.
You mentioned that your primary physician is effective in managing your physical health but has not addressed your psychological needs adequately. This highlights a common gap in healthcare where physical and mental health are treated separately. It may be beneficial to seek a mental health professional who specializes in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or other therapeutic modalities that focus on addressing the underlying thought patterns contributing to your distress. A therapist can help you process your feelings of anger and resentment toward your boss and develop healthier coping strategies.
Regarding your feelings of wanting to "get back" at your boss, it’s essential to recognize that harboring such thoughts can be detrimental to your mental health. Instead of focusing on revenge, consider channeling that energy into self-improvement and personal growth. Engaging in activities that promote self-care, such as exercise, mindfulness, or hobbies, can help redirect your focus and alleviate some of the emotional burden you carry.
You also expressed concerns about your academic aspirations and feelings of inadequacy regarding your educational background. It’s important to remember that your worth is not defined by the institution you attend. Many successful individuals come from diverse educational backgrounds. If you feel overwhelmed by the prospect of studying, it might be helpful to set smaller, achievable goals. Break down your study material into manageable sections and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This can help build your confidence and reduce feelings of being overwhelmed.
Additionally, consider joining study groups or finding a mentor who can provide guidance and support. Engaging with peers who share similar goals can create a sense of community and reduce feelings of isolation. This social support can be invaluable in enhancing your motivation and mental well-being.
Lastly, if you find that your current healthcare provider is not meeting your needs, don’t hesitate to seek a second opinion or consult with a mental health professional who can provide a more integrated approach to your care. In Taiwan, there are various resources available, including community mental health centers and private practitioners who specialize in mental health.
In summary, navigating mental health challenges requires a multifaceted approach. Prioritize seeking professional help for your psychological needs, engage in self-care practices, set realistic academic goals, and build a supportive network. Remember, healing is a journey, and it’s okay to seek help along the way. You are not alone in this, and there are resources available to support you in reclaiming your mental well-being.
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