Overcoming Depression: Finding Purpose After Hospitalization

Q: Overcoming Depression: Finding Purpose After Hospitalization

Hello, dear reader： From your letter, I can sense the profound feeling of helplessness you are experiencing amidst your emotional struggles. <br>Mental illness is indeed a tormenting affliction! Especially when others, despite their good intentions, encourage you to "cheer up," i

How to improve the current quality of life?

Hello, Dr.
Ding.
I have been diagnosed with moderate depression and have been hospitalized for nearly two months.
However, during my hospitalization, I felt that I wasn't receiving treatment; instead, I was kept in a stress-free environment where I could eat well and sleep well (temporarily forgetting everything).
The nurses checked in on my emotions three times a day (although I'm not sure if it was genuine concern or just part of their job, as I am just one of many patients coming and going).
This did not alleviate my understanding of external pressures; they still had a significant impact on me.
Later, after an evaluation by the physician, it was determined that my condition was stable enough for discharge.
Once I left the hospital, I felt an overwhelming wave of pressure hit me.
I am a recent graduate from National Taiwan University, and I don't know what to do.
I have almost no interest in anything and even miss my days in the hospital, where I could just look out the window and wait for time to pass.
However, due to financial needs and my attending physician's advice against it, I can't just stay in the hospital.
The physician mentioned that being hospitalized felt like being confined (laughs).
I feel like I lack the courage to start a new day because I realize that while others are working hard, I have no passion for life and am just wasting away.
I really dislike this version of myself.
I keep hearing friends and family encouraging me to pick myself up, but I find it ironic because I don't even have the courage to take that first step to look for a job or to understand myself.
But if I don't start doing something soon, I feel like a parasite, wasting the resources that the country and my four years at National Taiwan University have provided me.
I see my classmates finding their direction or some already soaring high, while I feel like trash in a corner of society, with no one to pick me up.
Since I was discharged in early February, I have still felt like a burden at home, observing my family's mixed expressions (they think I should go out and find a job but also don't want to pressure me).
I am truly sorry; I hate myself.
Thank you for reading this; it has been my ongoing pain.

Wen Bao, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/02/22

Dr. Liao Dinglie reply Psychiatry

Hello, dear reader: From your letter, I can sense the profound feeling of helplessness you are experiencing amidst your emotional struggles.
Mental illness is indeed a tormenting affliction! Especially when others, despite their good intentions, encourage you to "cheer up," it can sound particularly harsh at such times.
Many things that you used to be able to do are now impossible; many feelings that once were vivid are now numb.
When life loses its weight, it feels as if there is no gravity, and each step forward lacks the solid sense of progress.
Inpatient treatment itself is a challenging experience.
Treatment for depression does not mean you are cured upon discharge.
Typically, we arrange inpatient care for several important reasons: first, to ensure the patient's safety and prevent any tragic incidents that may arise from negative thinking or suicidal ideation during depressive episodes; second, to alleviate environmental stress, as everyone faces pressures in society, school, and community to fulfill their roles, and during hospitalization, one can temporarily take a break from these responsibilities; third, to adjust the direction of pharmacological treatment, confirming that the medication chosen can achieve maximum efficacy with minimal side effects, while also establishing a routine to ensure that the patient's condition meets the standards for outpatient follow-up.
Currently, it may be difficult for you to like yourself, and you have not yet returned to your former self.
When a person cannot appreciate themselves yet cannot escape from themselves, they can fall into deep depression.
Fortunately, you remember your past self and the direction of your life's efforts.
You recall the foods you enjoyed, the flavors you loved, the colors that brought you joy, and the temperatures that comforted you; these aspects of life that you have always been able to appreciate and feel are sources of energy in your life and will not change.
Once you recover from your illness, you will be able to return to a life with gravity, and all these things will be waiting for you.
I hope you can overcome the torment of this illness.
Medications, environmental therapy, psychotherapy, and non-pharmacological treatments such as ECT/rTMS may provide significant assistance.
Wishing you a speedy recovery.

Dr.
Ding-Lieh Liao

Reply Date: 2021/02/22

More Info

Overcoming depression, especially after a hospitalization, can be an incredibly challenging journey. It’s understandable to feel lost and overwhelmed after being in a controlled environment where your basic needs were met, but the external pressures and emotional burdens remained unaddressed. Your feelings of disconnection from life, lack of motivation, and self-loathing are common among individuals recovering from depression.
Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge that your experience in the hospital, while it may not have felt like traditional therapy, served a purpose. Hospitalization often aims to stabilize patients and ensure their safety, especially when they are at risk of self-harm. The structured environment can provide a temporary respite from the pressures of daily life, allowing you to focus on your mental health without the immediate stressors that may have contributed to your condition. However, transitioning back to the outside world can feel daunting, as you have described.

The feelings of pressure to find a job and the comparison to peers can exacerbate your sense of inadequacy. It’s crucial to remember that recovery from depression is not a linear process, and everyone’s timeline is different. The fact that you graduated from a prestigious institution like NTU is an achievement in itself, and it’s important to give yourself credit for that.
Finding purpose after hospitalization often involves taking small, manageable steps. Here are some strategies that may help you navigate this challenging period:
1. Set Small Goals: Instead of overwhelming yourself with the idea of finding a job immediately, set small, achievable goals. This could be as simple as getting out of bed at a certain time, taking a walk, or engaging in a hobby you once enjoyed. Celebrate these small victories, as they can help build momentum.

2. Seek Support: While it may feel like your family and friends don’t understand your struggles, try to communicate your feelings with them. Let them know that their encouragement, while well-meaning, can sometimes feel like added pressure. Consider joining a support group where you can connect with others who understand what you’re going through.

3. Therapeutic Activities: Engage in activities that promote mental well-being, such as mindfulness, meditation, or yoga. These practices can help ground you and provide a sense of calm amidst the chaos of your thoughts and feelings.

4. Professional Help: Continue to work with your mental health professional. Regular therapy sessions can provide a safe space to express your feelings and explore the underlying issues contributing to your depression. If you feel that your current therapist isn’t meeting your needs, don’t hesitate to seek a second opinion.

5. Explore Interests: Reconnect with activities that once brought you joy. This could be reading, painting, or even volunteering. Engaging in activities that align with your interests can help reignite your passion for life.

6. Limit Comparisons: It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others, especially those who seem to be thriving. Remember that everyone has their struggles, and social media often presents a curated version of reality. Focus on your journey and progress.

7. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Understand that it’s okay to feel lost and that recovery takes time. Avoid harsh self-criticism; instead, treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend in a similar situation.

8. Consider Volunteering: If you feel up to it, volunteering can provide a sense of purpose and connection to the community. It can also help shift your focus from your struggles to the positive impact you can have on others.

In conclusion, overcoming depression and finding purpose after hospitalization is a gradual process that requires patience and self-compassion. It’s essential to take things one step at a time and to seek support when needed. Remember, your life has value, and there is hope for a brighter future. You are not alone in this journey, and with time and effort, you can rediscover your passion for life.

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