Depression / Control Freak
I am currently 30 years old and I remember having thoughts of wanting to die during high school, but I didn't take them seriously.
About two or three years ago, I suddenly found everyone around me irritating, and my emotions became very unstable, leading to irritability and anger.
I wanted to push everyone away.
One day, when a family member had a cold and went to see a doctor, they casually mentioned my symptoms.
The doctor immediately prescribed me an antidepressant.
After taking it for a while, my mood improved slightly, but I still experience episodes of low mood and very negative thoughts, such as feeling that my life has no meaning, that I am unworthy of love, and that I have no value.
I even have thoughts of self-harm.
Additionally, in a relationship, I exhibit a very strong need for control; I want to know everything about my partner and do not allow any deception or concealment.
If things do not go as expected, I easily become angry and hysterical.
During these angry episodes, I often feel discomfort in my chest and cry.
If previously agreed-upon plans change at the last minute, I also become upset.
Could this situation indicate that I have depression? Is my controlling behavior a sign of a personality disorder? Is it treatable?
yuchen, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/03/31
Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry
Hello, online user: Could you please tell me if my situation indicates depression? A: It is indeed possible that you may be experiencing depression.
It is advisable to continue discussing with your physician whether medication adjustments are necessary to achieve complete symptom relief.
Is being controlling indicative of a personality disorder? Can it be treated? A: Everyone has their own personality traits, but if this controlling behavior significantly impacts your daily life, it is recommended to seek individual psychotherapy and consult a professional therapist for assistance.
Dr.
Wu Enliang
Reply Date: 2021/03/31
More Info
It sounds like you are experiencing a complex interplay of emotions and behaviors that could indeed be indicative of depression, as well as issues related to control and anxiety. Your feelings of worthlessness, thoughts of self-harm, and intense emotional reactions are serious and warrant attention. It's important to understand that you are not alone in this; many people struggle with similar feelings, and there is help available.
Depression is a multifaceted mental health condition that can manifest in various ways, including persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities, feelings of worthlessness, and even thoughts of self-harm or suicide. The fact that you have had thoughts of wanting to end your life is particularly concerning and should be addressed with a mental health professional immediately. It’s crucial to seek help from a psychiatrist or psychologist who can provide a proper diagnosis and treatment plan tailored to your needs.
Your mention of control issues is also significant. Many individuals with depression may exhibit controlling behaviors as a way to cope with their feelings of helplessness or insecurity. This need for control can stem from a fear of abandonment or betrayal, leading to anxiety when things do not go as planned. It’s important to recognize that while wanting to know everything about a partner can stem from a place of care, it can also lead to unhealthy dynamics in relationships. This behavior can be addressed through therapy, where you can explore the underlying fears and insecurities that fuel these controlling tendencies.
Treatment for depression and control issues is indeed possible and often involves a combination of medication and psychotherapy. Antidepressants, such as SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors), can help stabilize mood and alleviate symptoms of depression. However, medication alone is often not sufficient. Psychotherapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can be highly effective in helping you understand and reframe negative thought patterns, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and improve emotional regulation.
In therapy, you can also work on your control issues by learning to tolerate uncertainty and developing trust in your relationships. This process may involve exploring past experiences that contribute to your current feelings and behaviors, as well as practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques to manage anxiety.
It’s essential to approach this journey with patience and self-compassion. Recovery from depression and the management of control issues is not linear; there will be ups and downs. However, with the right support and treatment, many individuals find significant relief from their symptoms and can lead fulfilling lives.
Regarding your concerns about the stigma of mental illness and the fear of being perceived as weak or inadequate, it’s important to remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Mental health issues are common, and addressing them is a vital step toward healing.
If you are considering seeing a mental health professional, check with your insurance provider to understand coverage options. Many insurance plans cover mental health services, but the specifics can vary.
In conclusion, your situation is complex, but it is manageable with the right support. Please reach out to a mental health professional who can guide you through this process. You deserve to feel better and to have healthy relationships. Remember, you are not alone in this, and help is available.
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