Family Dynamics and Mental Health: Coping with Anxiety and Depression

Q: Family Dynamics and Mental Health: Coping with Anxiety and Depression

Hello： 1. <br>Based on the information you provided, the gentleman may exhibit symptoms related to hoarding disorder. <br>Following external intervention, he may also experience subsequent emotional symptoms, necessitating an evaluation for possible major depressive episodes. <br

Family interaction and depression-anxiety (including recurrent situations of non-continuous medical treatment)?

Hello, doctor.
I find myself in a difficult situation, which is why I'm asking here.
With the pandemic, the children have been home, making it impossible for me to visit the hospital for a discussion.
Here’s the situation: my husband is also a healthcare professional, but he has had a collecting habit since childhood (the items he collects are not expensive; they are usually small gifts that come with food purchases or items bought in bulk during sales).
Some of these treasures have been kept for over 20 years.
While they may seem worthless to outsiders, he cannot bring himself to discard them.
He is very strict about spending on family but tends to buy multiple items of things he likes all at once, leading to a significant accumulation of items across several rooms (stored at our old home and even in his dormitory).
A few years ago, his workplace gently requested that he clear out his items to return to the office, but it wasn't until early this year that they enforced this request.
He ended up discarding several hundred items because there simply wasn't enough space at home.
Before this, his personality was one of indifference; he focused solely on himself and never cared about others' feelings or fitting into groups.
I thought this was fine as long as he did his job well and stayed healthy.
However, after being forced to clear out space and discarding items, he has been prone to sudden outbursts of anger, often displaying hostility towards me, with his mood fluctuating between good and bad (he never admits to this afterward, but the children notice).
In April, he suddenly broke down and left work due to the pressure, and since that day, he has been acting erratically, hiding at home, wanting to cry but unable to, and constantly repeating himself or waking me up at night.
He is afraid to do anything or leave the house.
After much persuasion, he finally visited a psychiatrist, but he refuses to take medication, insisting that he knows it won’t help.
This cycle continues as he goes back to work, avoiding crowds and interactions (which has always been his way), but he often calls home regretting what he threw away and expressing negative emotions towards me, sometimes even asking if he can die.
He is unwilling to talk to family about his feelings.
This has been ongoing through May, June, and July, affecting my emotions deeply.
Just seeing him makes me feel suffocated, and I want to escape, but I have two young children in second grade and kindergarten who are also affected and confused about their father's behavior.
I don’t know how to get him to seek help; he insists he can solve his own problems as a doctor.
His behavior is troubling me greatly, and others have noticed his actions and words.
He lacks confidence at work and is not serious about addressing his issues.
What should I do? Can you provide me with some guidance or treatment options? Thank you, doctor.
(I truly cannot elaborate further, but I am overwhelmed with negative emotions, regret, and a lack of motivation to do anything, not even knowing what I should do.)

kan dao xiansheng huo ting dao xiansheng de shengyin jiu hui jiao, 40~49 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/07/07

Dr. Cai Qijin reply Psychiatry

Hello: 1.
Based on the information you provided, the gentleman may exhibit symptoms related to hoarding disorder.
Following external intervention, he may also experience subsequent emotional symptoms, necessitating an evaluation for possible major depressive episodes.
It is advisable to seek professional assistance from a psychiatrist, as treatment may include medication and psychotherapy, which generally yields good results when adhered to regularly.
2.
Since he is reluctant to seek medical care or take medication consistently, it may be helpful to enlist the support of other family members, elders, or colleagues to encourage him to visit a doctor, accompany him to the appointment, and discuss his condition and treatment options with the physician.
3.
It is important to monitor his risk of suicide.

Reply Date: 2021/07/07

More Info

Dealing with family dynamics, especially when they are intertwined with mental health issues, can be incredibly challenging. Your situation reflects a complex interplay of anxiety, depression, and the effects of a family member's behavior on your emotional well-being. It’s important to recognize that you are not alone in this struggle, and seeking help is a crucial step toward finding relief and understanding.

From your description, it seems that your husband is experiencing significant distress related to his compulsive collecting behavior, which has escalated into anger, withdrawal, and feelings of hopelessness. This kind of behavior can often be linked to underlying mental health issues, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or hoarding disorder. The emotional turmoil that arises from being forced to discard items he values can trigger intense feelings of loss and anger, which may explain his volatile reactions.

It's also clear that his behavior is affecting not only his mental health but also the emotional climate of your household. Children are particularly sensitive to their parents' emotional states, and witnessing such distress can lead to confusion and anxiety in them. It’s understandable that you feel overwhelmed and suffocated by the situation, especially when you have your own emotional needs and responsibilities to consider.

Here are some steps you can take to navigate this difficult situation:
1. Encourage Professional Help: While your husband may feel that he can manage his issues on his own, it’s crucial to emphasize the importance of professional help. You might suggest that he sees a mental health professional who specializes in compulsive behaviors or anxiety disorders. A therapist can provide him with coping strategies and help him understand the root causes of his behavior.

2. Family Therapy: Consider family therapy as an option. This can provide a safe space for all family members to express their feelings and concerns. A therapist can facilitate discussions that might help your husband see how his behavior impacts the family and encourage healthier communication patterns.

3. Set Boundaries: It’s essential to establish boundaries for your own mental health. You cannot be the sole emotional support for your husband, especially when he is in such a fragile state. Communicate your needs clearly and seek support from friends, family, or support groups.

4. Self-Care: Prioritize your own mental health. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it’s exercise, hobbies, or spending time with friends. Taking care of yourself will better equip you to support your husband and children.

5. Educate Yourself: Understanding more about compulsive behaviors and mental health can help you empathize with your husband’s struggles while also providing you with tools to cope. Resources such as books, articles, or support groups can be beneficial.

6. Open Communication: Encourage open and honest communication within your family. Let your children express their feelings about the situation, and reassure them that it’s okay to feel confused or upset. This can help them process their emotions in a healthy way.

7. Crisis Plan: If your husband expresses thoughts of self-harm or suicide, it’s vital to take these seriously. Have a crisis plan in place, which may include contacting a mental health professional or a crisis hotline.

In conclusion, navigating family dynamics when mental health issues are involved is complex and often requires professional intervention. It’s important to approach the situation with compassion, both for your husband and for yourself. By seeking help, establishing boundaries, and prioritizing self-care, you can create a healthier environment for yourself and your children while supporting your husband in his journey toward recovery. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and taking care of your own mental health is just as important as supporting your loved ones.

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