Inability to achieve penetration during sexual intercourse?
Hello, doctor.
I am a virgin, and when I try to have intercourse with my boyfriend, he is unable to penetrate my vaginal opening.
I have had an examination by a doctor who said my vagina is normal and prescribed a numbing cream for me to apply to the vaginal opening, but penetration is still not possible.
I researched online and found suggestions to practice with my fingers.
When I insert my fingers, I feel something hard at the front of the vagina (near the urethra), but it does not hurt.
Is this bone? I have to bend my fingers slightly to insert them comfortably; is this normal? I also found recommendations for desensitization exercises for vaginal spasms.
Would this help with vaginal dilation and allow for successful penetration? Thank you for your response.
Zhenzhen, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/10/28
Dr. Huang Yiwen reply Obstetrics and Gynecology
This question has already been answered.
Reply Date: 2021/10/28
More Info
Understanding vaginal entry difficulties can be a complex issue, often involving a combination of physical, psychological, and emotional factors. Based on your description, it seems you are experiencing a form of vaginismus, which is characterized by involuntary muscle contractions in the pelvic floor that can make penetration painful or impossible. Here’s a detailed exploration of potential causes and solutions.
Causes of Vaginal Entry Difficulties
1. Anatomical Factors: While your doctor has indicated that your anatomy appears normal, it’s important to understand that individual anatomical variations can exist. The "hard" feeling you describe near the urethra could be the pubic bone or pelvic floor muscles. It’s not uncommon for individuals to feel some resistance when attempting to insert fingers or other objects, especially if they are tense or anxious.
2. Psychological Factors: Anxiety about penetration, fear of pain, or past traumatic experiences can contribute to vaginismus. The mind-body connection is powerful; if you are anxious about penetration, your body may respond by tightening the pelvic muscles, making it more difficult for anything to enter.
3. Lack of Experience: As a virgin, the lack of familiarity with penetration can also play a role. The body may need time to adjust to the sensation of penetration, and this can be compounded by anxiety or fear.
4. Physical Tension: Stress and tension in the body can lead to tight pelvic floor muscles. This tension can make it difficult for the vaginal muscles to relax, which is necessary for comfortable penetration.
Solutions and Recommendations
1. Desensitization Exercises: The practice of using fingers or small, soft objects to gradually introduce the sensation of penetration can be beneficial. Start with gentle, slow movements, and focus on relaxation techniques. This can help your body become accustomed to the sensation of being penetrated without the pressure of a partner.
2. Pelvic Floor Exercises: Kegel exercises can help strengthen and relax the pelvic floor muscles. While they are often recommended for strengthening, they can also help you gain better control over these muscles, which may alleviate some of the involuntary contractions associated with vaginismus.
3. Use of Lubrication: Ensure that you are using adequate lubrication during any attempts at penetration. This can help reduce friction and discomfort, making the experience more pleasant and less anxiety-inducing.
4. Gradual Exposure: Consider using vaginal dilators, which are designed to help gradually stretch the vaginal opening. These can be used in a private setting where you feel safe and relaxed. Start with the smallest size and gradually work your way up as you become more comfortable.
5. Therapeutic Support: If anxiety or fear is a significant barrier, speaking with a therapist who specializes in sexual health can be incredibly beneficial. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or sex therapy can help address underlying fears and anxieties, providing coping strategies and techniques to facilitate a more positive experience.
6. Communication with Your Partner: Open communication with your boyfriend about your feelings, fears, and experiences is crucial. This can help create a supportive environment where both of you feel comfortable exploring intimacy at your own pace.
7. Consulting a Specialist: If difficulties persist, consider consulting a gynecologist or a sexual health specialist. They can provide further evaluation and tailored advice, including the possibility of physical therapy for pelvic floor dysfunction.
Conclusion
Vaginal entry difficulties can be frustrating and disheartening, but with patience, practice, and the right support, many individuals find ways to overcome these challenges. Remember that every person’s journey is unique, and it’s important to move at a pace that feels comfortable for you. Engaging in self-exploration, seeking professional guidance, and maintaining open communication with your partner can significantly enhance your experience and help you achieve a fulfilling sexual relationship.
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