Paraphilia, characterized by sexual arousal from holding in urine or experiencing incontinence, may require treatment depending on the individual's circumstances and the impact on their daily life. If this behavior causes distress or impairment in functioning, seeking therapy or counseling from a mental health professional specializing in sexual health may be beneficial?
Hello, doctor.
I have been feeling very anxious about my sexual preferences and have a lot of guilt.
I hope you can help me answer some questions.
Thank you very much! I am currently 30 years old and male.
Since I can remember, starting from kindergarten, I have experienced sexual arousal from holding in urine or from others wetting themselves.
Should this be considered a paraphilia or sexual deviation? I also experience sexual arousal from typical sexual intercourse, but it is not as intense as the arousal from this particular kink.
In my twenties, when I was impulsive and immature, I even secretly bought diuretics at a pharmacy and put them in a female classmate's drink, hoping to see her in a desperate situation.
(I know this is illegal and could potentially harm her, and I will never do it again! I feel deeply guilty about it.) Now, I can only relieve my sexual urges by watching adult films related to this theme or fantasizing about women holding in their urine or being desperate, or by holding in my own urine, even to the point of wetting myself.
Sometimes, I even put myself in situations outdoors where I cannot use the restroom for various reasons, holding it in until I lose control and wet my pants.
This shame only heightens my arousal.
I would like to ask you, doctor, if I need treatment for this, provided that I do not harm others? I feel very anxious and think that I am not a normal person, and I am very scared.
Thank you very much for your patient response.
Heng, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/10/30
Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello: If it does not harm others and does not affect your daily life, it can be considered a private habit.
However, your inquiry suggests that this habit is causing you inner discomfort.
It is advisable to cultivate other interests and hobbies that you can identify with and feel comfortable doing, in order to gradually alleviate this discomfort and reduce these thoughts over time.
Reply Date: 2021/10/30
More Info
Understanding urinary fetishes, particularly in the context of your experiences, can be complex and often requires a nuanced approach. It's important to recognize that sexual preferences and fetishes can vary widely among individuals, and having a specific fetish does not inherently mean that one is abnormal or requires treatment. However, when these preferences lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety, or harmful behaviors, it may be beneficial to explore these feelings further.
From what you've described, your fetish for urinary situations—such as the act of holding urine or witnessing others in a state of urgency—has been a part of your sexual identity for many years. It's not uncommon for individuals to develop specific sexual interests during childhood or adolescence, and these can persist into adulthood. The key factor here is whether these interests interfere with your daily life, relationships, or mental health.
1. Understanding the Fetish: Urinary fetishes, like many other fetishes, can stem from various psychological, emotional, or even physiological factors. They may be linked to feelings of control, submission, or even the thrill of taboo. It's essential to differentiate between a harmless fetish and behaviors that could cause harm to yourself or others. Your acknowledgment of past actions—such as using diuretics on others—indicates a recognition of boundaries that should not be crossed. This awareness is crucial in managing your interests responsibly.
2. When to Seek Treatment: Treatment may be warranted if your fetish leads to significant distress, interferes with your ability to engage in healthy relationships, or results in harmful behaviors. If you find that your thoughts about the fetish are consuming your daily life or leading to compulsive actions, it may be beneficial to speak with a mental health professional. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, understand the origins of your fetish, and develop coping strategies for any anxiety or guilt you may experience.
3. Healthy Expression: Engaging in your fetish in a safe and consensual manner is crucial. If you find that your interests do not harm others and are expressed in ways that are consensual and respectful, this may not require treatment. However, it’s essential to ensure that your actions do not infringe on the rights or well-being of others. Open communication with partners about your interests can also foster understanding and consent, which is vital in any sexual relationship.
4. Coping with Anxiety and Guilt: Feelings of guilt and anxiety about your fetish can be challenging. It may help to remind yourself that sexual preferences are diverse and that many people have fetishes. Engaging in self-compassion and understanding that your interests do not define your worth as a person can be beneficial. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or journaling, may also help you process these feelings.
5. Professional Guidance: If your anxiety persists or if you feel overwhelmed by your feelings about your fetish, seeking the guidance of a therapist who specializes in sexual health or fetishes can be incredibly helpful. They can provide you with tools to manage your feelings and help you understand your sexuality in a broader context.
In conclusion, having a urinary fetish does not inherently require treatment unless it leads to distress or harmful behaviors. Understanding and accepting your sexual preferences, while ensuring they are expressed in safe and consensual ways, is key. If anxiety and guilt continue to affect your quality of life, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for support. Remember, you are not alone in your experiences, and there are resources available to help you navigate your feelings.
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