Should I Wait for My Emotions to Improve or Seek Help Now?

Q: Should I Wait for My Emotions to Improve or Seek Help Now?

Hello： Reflecting on your thoughts and writing them down is a very effective method. <br>There is no standard answer to whether past issues will resolve themselves, but recognizing how your past influences your present self is an important step. <br>Once you are aware, there are

Will leaving an injury untreated heal on its own, or will it worsen and become overwhelming?

I'm sorry to disturb you, doctor, but I've been feeling that my thoughts and emotions have become unstable again recently.
I would like to ask if these feelings are due to puberty (I'm currently in the second year of high school) and if they will improve in a few years, or if I really need to see a psychologist.
When I was in elementary school, I managed well in social situations and interpersonal relationships, but during middle school, I had some negative experiences because I felt different.

Firstly, being an indigenous person, I often faced jokes about affirmative action, hunting, drinking, and historical oppression.
While I can accept occasional jokes about my ethnicity, when it became frequent, I started to feel uncomfortable.
I feared that it would affect my relationships, leading me to feel embarrassed about my identity.

Secondly, I am a boy, but so far, I have only had feelings for other boys, which has been painful for me.
A close friend from middle school started ignoring me after he accidentally found out about my feelings for him.
He then joined others in ostracizing me, often mocking me verbally.
At that time, my home life was unstable, and I developed an unknown skin condition.
I felt unable to share my struggles with anyone and often thought about how I could end my life to find peace.
However, I would remind myself that these were just emotional impulses, so I tried to keep myself busy to calm down.

I managed to get through middle school, but in high school, I continued to be teased by peers because of my indigenous identity.
I even started making jokes about my own ethnicity, but each time I did, my guilt grew heavier.
Recently, I noticed that a good friend of mine is now spending time with a boy I have feelings for, and our relationship doesn't seem as strong as before.
This has caused me to reflect on my middle school experiences, and my mood and thoughts have become increasingly extreme.

I'm afraid that in a moment of impulse, I might hurt those around me or even myself.
So, I took a few days off to calm down.
During this time, I've been contemplating whether my current emotions are due to puberty or if I haven't truly moved on from past memories.
I'm hesitant to ask those around me for help and I'm not yet ready to seek psychiatric or psychological counseling.
Therefore, I would like to ask you, doctor, if these emotions will improve on their own if left unaddressed, or if there are ways I can detach myself from these issues? Thank you, doctor.

Jie, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/12/15

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello: Reflecting on your thoughts and writing them down is a very effective method.
There is no standard answer to whether past issues will resolve themselves, but recognizing how your past influences your present self is an important step.
Once you are aware, there are various coping strategies you can employ, such as trying to overcome the challenges on your own, seeking psychological counseling, or consulting a psychiatrist.
Adolescence can indeed lead to increased irritability, which may be one of the factors contributing to the worsening of these issues.
Typically, irritability during adolescence tends to gradually alleviate after this developmental stage.
If the impact of these issues on your life becomes increasingly significant, it is advisable to seek medical attention or psychological counseling for assistance.

Reply Date: 2021/12/15

More Info

It sounds like you are going through a very challenging time, and I want to commend you for reaching out and seeking guidance. Your feelings of confusion, loneliness, and emotional instability are not uncommon, especially during adolescence, a period marked by significant changes and challenges. While it is true that some emotional fluctuations can be attributed to the natural ups and downs of growing up, it is also essential to recognize when these feelings may require professional support.

From what you have described, it seems that you have experienced a series of distressing events that have contributed to your current emotional state. The teasing related to your identity as an indigenous person, coupled with the struggles of navigating your feelings towards same-sex attractions, can understandably lead to feelings of isolation and distress. Additionally, the painful experiences of rejection and bullying during middle school have likely left a lasting impact on your self-esteem and emotional well-being.

It is important to acknowledge that while some people may find that their emotions stabilize over time, others may continue to struggle without intervention. Ignoring these feelings in the hope that they will resolve on their own can sometimes lead to worsening symptoms, particularly if you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm or extreme emotional distress. Seeking help from a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or counselor, can provide you with the tools and support needed to process your experiences and develop healthier coping strategies.

Here are some steps you might consider taking:
1. Reach Out for Professional Help: While it can be daunting to take that first step, speaking with a mental health professional can be incredibly beneficial. They can help you explore your feelings in a safe environment and provide you with coping mechanisms to manage your emotions. Many schools offer counseling services, which can be a good starting point.

2. Talk to Someone You Trust: If you are not ready to see a professional, consider confiding in someone you trust, such as a family member, teacher, or close friend. Sharing your feelings can help alleviate some of the burdens you are carrying and may provide you with new perspectives.

3. Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. This could be anything from sports, art, music, or spending time in nature. Taking care of your physical health through exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep can also positively impact your emotional state.

4. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to process your emotions. It allows you to express what you are going through and can help you identify patterns in your thoughts that may need addressing.

5. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga can help you manage anxiety and improve your emotional regulation. These techniques can help ground you in the present moment and reduce overwhelming feelings.

6. Educate Yourself: Understanding more about mental health and emotional well-being can empower you. There are many resources available online, including articles, videos, and support groups that can provide insight into what you are experiencing.

7. Set Small Goals: If you feel overwhelmed, try setting small, achievable goals for yourself each day. This could be as simple as getting out of bed at a certain time, taking a short walk, or reaching out to a friend. Celebrating these small victories can help build your confidence.

In conclusion, while it is possible that your emotions may improve over time, seeking help now can provide you with the support and tools necessary to navigate this challenging period more effectively. Remember, you are not alone in this, and there are people and resources available to help you through your struggles. Taking the step to seek help is a sign of strength, and it can lead to a more fulfilling and happier life.

Similar Q&A

Coping with Emotional Turmoil: When Talking No Longer Helps

In the past, when I felt irritable or unhappy, talking to friends would help me feel better. However, recently, no matter who I talk to, my mood just doesn't improve. I find myself crying almost every day, and my family doesn't listen to my work-related frustrations. My...

Dr. Zhong Mingxun reply Psychiatry
Ms. Chiu: Thank you for your letter! Your recent condition seems to be quite different from your usual state. The issues you are currently facing cannot simply be resolved by talking to friends. Although your mother's response may not necessarily be wrong, it is clear that s...

Finding Relief from Emotional Turmoil: A Guide to Mental Health Support

Hello: I have been troubled by my emotions for a long time, and recently I often feel overwhelmed and unstable. I have seen a doctor before, but I can only take the medication for one or two weeks before I can't continue due to the unpleasant taste of the pills. Later, I tri...

Dr. Chen Wenke reply Psychiatry
I should say that emotional issues are something that almost everyone experiences in their lifetime. However, when emotional problems become so severe that they affect your daily life and work, it may indicate an underlying illness, such as depression. I believe these issues do n...

Understanding Emotional Ups and Downs: When to Seek Help for Mood Swings

Hello Doctor, I previously asked questions #142143 and #157705. During the time of #157705, I often felt inexplicably sad and even cried suddenly once. After a few days, my emotions stabilized, and I thought it was just another episode of intense low mood, so I didn't pay mu...

Dr. Huang Xiaoxian reply Psychiatry
Dear abc, Based on the above description, it seems that it does not align closely with typical mania. However, it is evident that there are some psychological issues that have not been well processed. I recommend consulting a psychiatrist to determine if psychological therapy w...

Understanding Emotional Distress: When to Seek Help for Depression

I suffer from severe depression, and this week I've often felt uncomfortable emotionally, almost to the point of crying whenever I think about it. It feels like a heaviness in my chest. Should I see a cardiologist, or how can I address this emotional discomfort and the tende...

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello: You might want to think about what is making you feel sad, and it can help to write down your feelings. Sometimes, this can make you feel a bit better. Don't worry too much about wanting to cry; it's important to accept your emotions, and often, after crying, you...