What exactly is my problem?
Since graduating and entering the workforce, my social circle has become very small, and I don't know why my mindset has gradually changed from being lively and cheerful to becoming more withdrawn.
I am increasingly afraid of engaging with new things and unfamiliar people, and I no longer enjoy stimulation and adventure.
My life feels bland and monotonous.
I hate this version of myself, but I am also afraid to change my lifestyle.
I feel powerless.
My level of withdrawal has reached a point where I am surprised by it myself.
When unfamiliar guests visit, I hide in my room and avoid going out to interact, as I feel my living space is being invaded.
When my friend invites me to hang out with his friends, I feel anxious and lost because I don't want to face unfamiliar people and interact with them.
If I must confront the situation, I force a smile and pretend to be outgoing.
I can disguise my feelings well, but deep down, I don't wish to have another encounter.
Every time my boyfriend asks if I want to join him and his friends for outings or other activities, I decline, preferring that he goes alone.
He is always disappointed and doesn't quite understand, but I am too afraid to tell him that I am actually very withdrawn and don't want to engage with unfamiliar people.
I fear that he will realize my mindset is not normal.
Am I considered withdrawn? What exactly is my problem? I'm feeling overwhelmed.
Xiao Han, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2003/06/24
Dr. Chen Qixiang reply Psychiatry
What you refer to as "autism" is actually closely related to the "lack of interest" and "lack of energy" commonly seen in depression, and is very different from true classical autism.
Based on your description, the feelings of "autism," "frustration," "helplessness," and "anxiety and restlessness when going out" seem to stem from depressive and anxious emotions.
It is not unusual for someone suffering from depression to experience these symptoms.
I suggest you talk to your boyfriend and let him know that your struggles should also be discussed with a psychiatrist.
Early consultation and treatment (which may not necessarily involve medication) can help you find a way out.
Wishing you all the best.
Reply Date: 2003/06/24
More Info
It sounds like you're experiencing a significant amount of distress related to social interactions, and it's understandable to feel overwhelmed by these emotions. Based on your description, it seems you may be dealing with social anxiety, which is characterized by an intense fear of social situations and a worry about being judged or embarrassed in front of others. This condition can lead to avoidance behaviors, such as isolating yourself from social gatherings or feeling uncomfortable around unfamiliar people.
Social anxiety can manifest in various ways, including physical symptoms like increased heart rate, sweating, or even gastrointestinal distress when faced with social situations. The feelings of dread you experience when thinking about interacting with others, as well as the tendency to put on a façade of being outgoing while feeling internally anxious, are common indicators of this condition. It’s also not uncommon for individuals with social anxiety to feel a sense of shame or frustration about their inability to engage socially, which can further exacerbate feelings of isolation and depression.
Your reluctance to engage with your boyfriend's friends or to face unfamiliar guests indicates a level of discomfort that is impacting your relationships and overall quality of life. This avoidance can create a cycle where the more you withdraw, the more anxious you may feel about future interactions, leading to a further decrease in social engagement. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are not a reflection of your worth or character; they are symptoms of a condition that can be treated and managed.
In terms of addressing your struggles, seeking professional help is a crucial step. A mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide a proper assessment and help you understand your feelings better. They may suggest cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which is particularly effective for social anxiety. CBT focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns and gradually exposing you to feared social situations in a controlled manner, helping you build confidence over time.
Additionally, medication may be an option if your anxiety is severe. Antidepressants, particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), are commonly prescribed for social anxiety and can help alleviate symptoms. However, this should be discussed with a healthcare provider who can evaluate your specific situation and recommend the best course of action.
It’s also beneficial to engage in self-help strategies. Practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques can help manage anxiety symptoms. Gradually exposing yourself to social situations, starting with less intimidating scenarios, can also be a helpful approach. For instance, you might begin by spending time with a close friend in a familiar setting before gradually expanding your social circle.
Lastly, consider opening up to your boyfriend about your feelings. While it may be difficult, sharing your struggles can foster understanding and support in your relationship. He may be more empathetic than you expect, and this could help alleviate some of the pressure you feel to conform to social expectations.
In conclusion, while it’s understandable to feel frustrated and trapped by your current situation, it’s important to remember that help is available. You don’t have to face this alone, and with the right support and strategies, you can work towards overcoming your social anxiety and reclaiming a more fulfilling social life.
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