Social Perceptions: Insights for Mental Health Challenges - Psychiatry

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What is the situation?


I am tall and have a decent appearance, but those who interact with me often find my conversations boring.
I tend to discuss reasoning, life philosophy, and news reports.
When I was a student, I frequently asked about these topics, and my classmates thought I was strange.
Sometimes I wonder if everyone just wants different things! It’s not about right or wrong, but I have indeed received such opinions from others.
Can the doctor provide some advice?

Gong, 40~49 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/02/11

Dr. Liao Dinglie reply Psychiatry


Hello, online friend: Have you felt that your conversations don't attract others? I'm not sure if you're interested in social interactions.
Engaging in social activities is actually a great thing; we can gain new knowledge, enjoy life, find companionship, and provide mutual support from friends.
If you believe that making friends is a fortunate thing, you might want to attract friends through your conversations.
You may notice that in discussions, it's not just about talking about topics you excel in or are interested in, such as the philosophy of life or news reports.

You should pay attention to who is present during the conversation.
What topics are they interested in? Based on their personalities and lifestyles, what might they talk about today? In that case, prepare some relevant topics, such as news articles or stories you read in the newspaper that might relate to them; they might be interested in listening! After you finish speaking, pay close attention to how they continue the conversation.
Remember this for next time, and prepare similar topics, so you'll know which subjects they might be more interested in.
Sometimes, it's not just about chatting; you can also engage in activities together, like going out or having meals together, which will provide additional topics to discuss.
Being able to converse allows for ongoing opportunities to care for and interact with friends.
Perhaps you also hope to have meaningful conversations with someone you like, which could lead to a relationship.
Wishing you success in developing your interpersonal relationships.

Dr.
Liao Ding-Lie

Reply Date: 2022/02/11

More Info


Understanding social perceptions and their impact on mental health is crucial, especially for individuals who feel misunderstood or marginalized due to their communication style or interests. Your experience of being perceived as "boring" or "strange" for discussing philosophical topics or current events reflects a common challenge many face in social interactions. This can lead to feelings of isolation, anxiety, and even depression, particularly if one is sensitive to the opinions of others.

Firstly, it's important to recognize that everyone has different interests and communication styles. While some people may enjoy light-hearted conversations or small talk, others may find fulfillment in deeper discussions about life, philosophy, or current events. This divergence in interests can sometimes create a disconnect in social settings, leading to feelings of inadequacy or frustration when trying to connect with peers. It’s essential to embrace your unique perspective and understand that it is perfectly valid to engage in topics that resonate with you, even if they are not universally appreciated.

However, social interactions are a two-way street. While it’s important to stay true to yourself, it’s also beneficial to develop a degree of social adaptability. This doesn’t mean changing who you are, but rather being open to engaging in a variety of topics that might interest others as well. This can help bridge the gap between your interests and those of your peers, fostering more inclusive conversations. For instance, you might find ways to incorporate your interests into lighter discussions or ask open-ended questions that invite others to share their thoughts, creating a more balanced dialogue.

Moreover, the perception of being "boring" can sometimes stem from social anxiety or a lack of confidence in social settings. If you find that your anxiety is affecting your ability to engage with others, it may be helpful to explore techniques for managing social anxiety. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one effective approach that can help you reframe negative thoughts and develop coping strategies for social situations. Additionally, practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques can help reduce anxiety and improve your overall well-being.

Building a supportive social network is also crucial. Surrounding yourself with individuals who appreciate your interests and communication style can significantly enhance your social experience. Seek out groups or communities that share your passions, whether they are related to philosophy, current events, or any other topic of interest. Engaging with like-minded individuals can provide a sense of belonging and validation, reducing feelings of isolation.

Lastly, it’s essential to practice self-compassion. Understand that everyone has their unique strengths and weaknesses, and it’s okay to feel different. Embrace your individuality and recognize that your perspective can contribute positively to conversations. Over time, as you build confidence and develop your social skills, you may find that others begin to appreciate your insights and contributions more.

In summary, navigating social perceptions can be challenging, but it is possible to find a balance between staying true to yourself and adapting to social dynamics. Embrace your interests, seek out supportive communities, and consider professional help if social anxiety becomes overwhelming. Remember, the journey to understanding and improving your social interactions is a process, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time.

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