Overcoming Excessive Masturbation: Seeking Control and Healthy Alternatives - Urology

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I want to practice abstinence?


Hello, doctor.
I have been masturbating since I was younger due to my inability to find a girlfriend.
I feel that whenever I have sexual urges, I need to watch pornography to satisfy those needs.
Moreover, I find masturbation increasingly uninteresting, and I worry that soon it might only serve the function of urination.
Additionally, after finishing, I am left with just some ejaculate that feels dirty and has an unpleasant odor.
Sometimes, I also experience feelings of guilt afterward.
As mentioned, I would like to practice martial arts or exercise to abstain from these urges.
In my youth, I tried this but found it impossible to succeed due to my significant needs.
Nowadays, I am unsure if I can achieve this.
Thank you, doctor, for your response.

Mr. Zhao, 40~49 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/03/13

Dr. Du Shixi reply Urology


Hello: I personally do not recommend abstinence; as long as you maintain cleanliness and pay attention to any symptoms of pain or discomfort, it's fine.
Exercise is not bad; it helps keep the body healthier.
Wishing you good health.

Reply Date: 2022/03/13

More Info


Overcoming excessive masturbation and seeking control over one's sexual urges is a common concern for many individuals. It’s important to recognize that masturbation itself is a natural behavior and can be a normal part of human sexuality. However, when it becomes excessive and starts to interfere with daily life, relationships, or leads to feelings of guilt and shame, it may be time to explore healthier alternatives and coping mechanisms.

From your description, it seems that you have developed a pattern of relying on pornography and masturbation as a way to manage sexual urges, but you are beginning to feel dissatisfied with this behavior. This dissatisfaction, along with feelings of guilt and the perception that it may lead to negative consequences, indicates that you are seeking a change. Here are some strategies that may help you regain control and find healthier alternatives:
1. Understanding Triggers: Start by identifying what triggers your desire to watch pornography or masturbate. Is it boredom, stress, loneliness, or something else? Understanding these triggers can help you develop strategies to cope with them in healthier ways.

2. Setting Limits: If you find that your masturbation habits are excessive, consider setting limits for yourself. This could involve reducing the frequency or the amount of time spent watching pornography. Gradually decreasing these behaviors can help you regain control.

3. Engaging in Physical Activity: You mentioned an interest in martial arts and exercise. Physical activity is an excellent way to redirect your energy and manage sexual urges. Regular exercise can also improve your mood, reduce stress, and increase your overall sense of well-being. Consider joining a martial arts class or engaging in other forms of exercise that you enjoy.

4. Finding New Hobbies: Explore new interests or hobbies that can occupy your time and mind. This could include creative pursuits, sports, reading, or social activities. Engaging in fulfilling activities can help reduce the urge to resort to pornography or masturbation.

5. Mindfulness and Meditation: Practicing mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or yoga can help you manage urges and reduce anxiety.

6. Seeking Support: If you find it challenging to make these changes on your own, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. Therapy can provide you with tools and strategies to cope with your feelings and behaviors in a constructive way. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for addressing compulsive behaviors.

7. Building Healthy Relationships: Since you mentioned difficulty in forming romantic relationships, consider focusing on building social connections. Engaging in social activities, joining clubs, or participating in community events can help you meet new people and potentially develop meaningful relationships.

8. Educating Yourself: Understanding the psychology of sexual behavior can also be beneficial. Reading books or articles about healthy sexuality, relationships, and self-control can provide insights and reinforce your commitment to change.

9. Practicing Self-Compassion: It’s important to be kind to yourself during this process. Change takes time, and setbacks may occur. Acknowledge your efforts and progress, no matter how small, and avoid harsh self-criticism.

In conclusion, overcoming excessive masturbation involves a combination of self-awareness, setting limits, engaging in physical activity, and seeking support when needed. By redirecting your energy into healthier pursuits and building a fulfilling life, you can regain control over your sexual urges and reduce feelings of guilt. Remember, it’s a journey, and seeking help is a sign of strength.

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