Overcoming Delayed Ejaculation: Tips for Young Men Facing Challenges - Urology

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My surname is Chen, I am 22 years old, and my sexual function is normal with sufficient erection hardness.
Recently, during intercourse with my girlfriend, I have been unable to ejaculate for over half an hour.
This issue arose during my first sexual experience.
However, I can ejaculate with manual stimulation from my girlfriend.
Based on information I found online, it may be due to improper masturbation positions (with my feet straightened, somewhat similar to freestyle) and possibly a faster DIY hand motion frequency, leading to a reliance on habitual masturbation.
I would like to ask you two questions: 1.
Can abstaining for a period of time, as suggested online, help to "wake up" sexual function from numbness and eliminate the imprint of past habits? (I plan to implement this for one month.) 2.
Are there methods to lower the ejaculation threshold? I have tried manual stimulation to a certain extent before inserting into the vagina to continue stimulation (which has resulted in successful ejaculation).

Chen, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/03/31

Dr. Du Shixi reply Urology


Hello:
1.
Is it possible to awaken sexual function from numbness by practicing abstinence for a period of time, eliminating the impressions of past habits? (Planned implementation for one month) --> It can be attempted, but the reasons for the situation are often multifactorial, and habits may not necessarily change in a short period.
2.
Are there methods to lower the threshold for ejaculation? I have tried using my hand to stimulate to a certain extent before continuing with vaginal penetration (which has resulted in successful ejaculation) --> What you are doing is acceptable; it mainly helps in forming a habit.
Try to reduce psychological pressure.
Wishing you good health.

Reply Date: 2022/03/31

More Info


Overcoming delayed ejaculation can be a challenging experience for many young men, and it's important to approach this issue with a combination of understanding, patience, and effective strategies. Based on your description, it seems that you are experiencing difficulty in achieving ejaculation during intercourse, while still being able to do so with manual stimulation. This situation can be influenced by various factors, including psychological aspects, physical conditioning, and habitual patterns developed during masturbation.


Understanding Delayed Ejaculation
Delayed ejaculation (DE) is defined as the prolonged time it takes to ejaculate during sexual intercourse, or the inability to ejaculate at all. It can be caused by a variety of factors, including anxiety, stress, relationship issues, and even certain medical conditions or medications. In your case, it seems that the habitual patterns developed during masturbation may be contributing to this issue.

Addressing Your Questions
1. Abstinence and Reconditioning: The idea of abstaining from sexual activity for a period of time to "reset" your sexual response is a common suggestion. This approach can help reduce reliance on specific techniques or stimuli that may have conditioned your body to respond in a certain way. By taking a break from sexual activity, you may allow your body to become less accustomed to the specific sensations and methods you’ve used in the past. A month of abstinence could potentially help in reconditioning your sexual responses, but it's important to approach this with realistic expectations. During this time, focus on building intimacy with your partner through non-sexual activities, which can help reduce performance anxiety and enhance emotional connection.

2. Lowering the Ejaculation Threshold: To lower the threshold for ejaculation, consider the following strategies:
- Gradual Exposure: As you mentioned, using manual stimulation to approach ejaculation before transitioning to intercourse can be beneficial. This method allows you to maintain a level of arousal that is conducive to ejaculation while also familiarizing your body with the sensations of penetrative sex.

- Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Anxiety can significantly impact sexual performance. Practicing mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, or relaxation techniques can help reduce anxiety and improve your overall sexual experience. Being present in the moment can help you focus on the sensations rather than the pressure to perform.

- Communication with Your Partner: Open communication with your partner about your experiences and feelings can alleviate pressure and enhance intimacy. Discussing what feels good and what doesn’t can help both of you navigate this challenge together.

- Consulting a Professional: If the issue persists, consider seeking the advice of a healthcare professional or a sex therapist. They can provide tailored strategies and support to address the underlying causes of delayed ejaculation.


Additional Considerations
- Physical Health: Ensure that you are in good physical health, as factors such as hormonal imbalances, medication side effects, or underlying medical conditions can contribute to sexual dysfunction. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep can enhance overall sexual health.

- Avoiding Overstimulation: Be mindful of the level of stimulation you use during masturbation. If you find that certain techniques or pressures are leading to a reliance that affects your sexual performance, consider adjusting your approach to masturbation to be more in line with what you experience during intercourse.


Conclusion
Delayed ejaculation is a common issue that many young men face, and it can often be addressed with a combination of behavioral changes, communication, and professional guidance. By taking a proactive approach and being patient with yourself, you can work towards overcoming this challenge. Remember, sexual health is an important aspect of overall well-being, and seeking help when needed is a sign of strength.

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