Am I Experiencing Dissociative Identity Disorder or Just Forgetfulness? - Psychiatry

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Could you please tell me if I have dissociative identity disorder or just forgetfulness?


Recently, I found a piece of paper on my desk with my handwriting, but it contained very strange questions that I have no memory of writing.
I live alone, and this made me reflect on some odd occurrences from my past.
In middle school, someone wrote "ugly girl" on a poster in my room, and it was in my handwriting, but I have no recollection of doing that or any reason why I would.
There was also a time when I went karaoke with friends, and they told me I was about to sing the same song for the third time.
I was shocked because I thought it was my first time singing it (it was a duet, and my friend said they had already sung along with me twice).
Additionally, I have some diaries that I don't remember writing, but since they contained events that actually happened, I just thought I was forgetful at the time.

In high school, a friend named A was very upset and accused me of talking badly about her to another friend, B, but I absolutely did not! B claimed that I even wrote a letter, and A said she saw it, but I have no memory of that at all! I also cut off ties with B without ever seeing that letter.
Furthermore, my computer installed a Korean input method by itself, but I don’t know Korean at all.

Could this be just extreme forgetfulness, or is it possible that I have a dissociative identity disorder? Thank you!

Ruru, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/08/01

Dr. Qiu Junda reply Psychiatry


Hello.
The diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder or multiple personality disorder is not common and requires careful evaluation.
The same goes for amnesia.
I wonder if you have a habit of using alcohol or drugs, as this could also contribute to the symptoms you described.
If this is causing you significant distress, I recommend consulting a mental health professional for assessment and seeking improvement.

Reply Date: 2022/08/01

More Info


Your experiences raise important questions about memory, identity, and emotional well-being. Based on the details you've shared, it seems you are grappling with significant gaps in your memory and some unusual behaviors that have left you feeling confused and concerned. While I cannot provide a diagnosis, I can help clarify some concepts and suggest steps you might consider.

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder, is characterized by the presence of two or more distinct personality states or an experience of possession. Individuals with DID often have significant memory gaps regarding everyday events, personal information, and traumatic events. These gaps are not consistent with ordinary forgetfulness and are typically linked to trauma or severe stress. In your case, the memory lapses you describe—such as writing notes you don’t remember, singing songs multiple times without recollection, and the incident with your friend—could suggest a dissociative process, but they could also be attributed to other factors.

On the other hand, what you are experiencing could also be a form of dissociative amnesia, which involves an inability to recall important autobiographical information, usually related to trauma or stress. This can manifest as forgetfulness about specific events or periods in your life, which seems to align with your experiences of not remembering certain actions or words you’ve written.

It’s also worth considering that your experiences might stem from anxiety, stress, or other psychological factors. For instance, if you have been under significant stress or have unresolved emotional issues, this could lead to dissociative symptoms or memory lapses. The brain sometimes protects itself from overwhelming emotions or memories by creating these gaps.

Here are some steps you might consider taking:
1. Seek Professional Help: It’s crucial to consult a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. They can provide a thorough assessment and help determine whether your symptoms align more closely with DID, dissociative amnesia, or another condition. A professional can also help you explore any underlying trauma or stressors that may be contributing to your experiences.

2. Keep a Journal: Documenting your thoughts, feelings, and experiences can help you track patterns in your memory and behavior. This can be useful for both you and your therapist in understanding your experiences better.

3. Explore Your Past: If you feel comfortable, consider discussing your past experiences with a trusted friend or therapist. Sometimes, talking about past events can help bring clarity and understanding to your current feelings and behaviors.

4. Practice Mindfulness: Engaging in mindfulness practices can help you stay grounded in the present moment and may reduce feelings of anxiety or dissociation. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or yoga can be beneficial.

5. Educate Yourself: Learning more about dissociative disorders and memory can empower you and help you understand what you’re experiencing. However, be cautious about self-diagnosing based on information found online.

6. Avoid Substance Use: If you are using substances, including alcohol, it may exacerbate memory issues and dissociative symptoms. Reducing or eliminating these substances can be beneficial for your mental health.

In summary, while your experiences may raise concerns about dissociative identity disorder or significant forgetfulness, it’s essential to approach this with the guidance of a mental health professional. They can help you navigate your feelings, understand your experiences, and develop coping strategies. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and addressing these issues can lead to a better understanding of yourself and improved emotional well-being.

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