Am I Experiencing Dissociative Identity Disorder or Just Depression?

Q: Am I Experiencing Dissociative Identity Disorder or Just Depression?

Hello： Based on your description, it seems that you are experiencing symptoms such as depression, poor attention, low mood, decreased appetite, and weight loss, along with pessimistic thoughts and impulsivity, which are more likely indicative of a recurrence of depression. <br>Ch

Hello, could you please tell me if this is a case of dissociative identity disorder or just ordinary depression?

Hello, I often feel like I am not a complete person, at most just half of one.
I have some memories of things I've done, but I don't know or can't recall why I did them.
After resting at night, I sometimes feel like I haven't truly woken up in a long time, as if the person who got up in the past few days wasn't really me.
However, as mentioned above, even though I feel like I haven't been fully awake for a long time, I do have memories of what I've done in the past few days (like meeting someone or doing something), but I have no idea why I did those things or what I talked about after meeting that person.
Two years ago, I completely woke up to find that I had cut my hair into a mess with scissors; at that moment, I couldn't remember doing it or why I did it.
But I remember that during that time, I had been unable to eat or sleep properly for two consecutive months, which led to a rapid weight loss of over 10 kilograms.
Recently, I have suddenly started experiencing similar feelings as I did two years ago (now it's been almost a month without being able to eat or sleep properly), which makes me very anxious.
I am afraid that I will zone out again and wake up to find out what I have done.
I have seen a psychiatrist once, as my family forced me to go; at that time, they thought I had depression, but the evaluation showed only mild symptoms.
However, my situation has not improved, and I even more frequently feel like I shouldn't exist and should just die.
I have also thought about trying various methods of suicide and have had instances where I pressed a knife against my neck and suddenly came to.
These issues started appearing after significant changes occurred in my family when I was 15; I wonder if that is related.
Could you please tell me whether this is depression or dissociative identity disorder?

Piao Piao, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/04/15

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello: Based on your description, it seems that you are experiencing symptoms such as depression, poor attention, low mood, decreased appetite, and weight loss, along with pessimistic thoughts and impulsivity, which are more likely indicative of a recurrence of depression.
Changes in family dynamics during adolescence can indeed affect future mood and perspectives on the world, but it still needs to be clarified whether they are related to your current symptoms.
Given the situation you have described, it is advisable to seek medical assistance.
Wishing you the best.

Reply Date: 2016/04/15

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a complex mix of symptoms that can be quite distressing. Your feelings of not being fully present, the sense of disconnection from your actions, and the episodes of memory loss can be concerning. These symptoms can be indicative of various mental health conditions, including depression and dissociative disorders, but it is essential to approach this with a nuanced understanding.

Firstly, let's clarify the difference between depression and dissociative identity disorder (DID). Depression is primarily characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest or pleasure in activities. It can also include cognitive symptoms such as difficulty concentrating, memory issues, and feelings of worthlessness. On the other hand, DID involves the presence of two or more distinct personality states or an experience of possession, along with recurrent gaps in the recall of everyday events, important personal information, and/or traumatic events.

From your description, it seems you are grappling with significant emotional distress, including feelings of worthlessness and thoughts of self-harm. The episodes where you feel disconnected from your actions, such as cutting your hair without remembering it, could suggest dissociative experiences. These experiences often arise as a coping mechanism in response to trauma or overwhelming stress, which aligns with your mention of family changes at the age of 15.

It's important to note that while you may have had a previous assessment that indicated only mild depression, mental health conditions can evolve over time, especially in response to life stressors. The fact that you are experiencing severe distress, including thoughts of self-harm and a sense of not wanting to exist, indicates that you should seek immediate professional help.
You mentioned that you have previously seen a psychiatrist but did not find the experience helpful. It might be beneficial to seek a second opinion or find a mental health professional who specializes in trauma and dissociative disorders. They can provide a more comprehensive evaluation of your symptoms and help you understand whether what you are experiencing aligns more closely with depression, dissociation, or another condition altogether.

In the meantime, consider reaching out to trusted friends or family members about your feelings. Building a support network can be incredibly beneficial. Additionally, engaging in grounding techniques, such as mindfulness or breathing exercises, may help you manage feelings of disconnection when they arise.

If you ever feel overwhelmed or have thoughts of self-harm, please seek immediate help from a crisis hotline or emergency services. Your safety is the top priority, and there are professionals who can help you navigate these challenging feelings. Remember, you are not alone in this, and there are pathways to healing and understanding your experiences better.

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