Suspecting that you have dissociative identity disorder?
I suspect that I have dissociative identity disorder.
One day, while traveling, I looked in the mirror while taking a shower and felt like I didn't recognize myself.
I thought I looked very cute.
However, when I returned home and looked in the mirror while showering, I didn't have that feeling anymore.
A few days later, I started feeling very dizzy.
When I wasn't dizzy, I felt like my usual self, but when I was dizzy, I felt like a different person.
I think one of my identities is depressed; sometimes I don't want to eat or engage with life, and I cry.
After a while, those feelings disappear.
Today, while watching a movie on the computer, I experienced a moment of amnesia that lasted only a few seconds, and I couldn't remember what had happened just moments before.
There's also another identity that feels very perverse; he is attracted to men, and when I feel like he is in control, I find myself wanting to watch gay adult films and engage in same-sex activities.
However, my original identity finds this very repulsive and inappropriate.
What should I do?
WuChito, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/08/23
Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry
Hello: Everyone has some similar imaginations, and some people may suppress their emotions due to a repressive upbringing, leading to a conflict between their subconscious and societal moral values, resulting in feelings of guilt.
This is generally normal.
However, if it interferes with daily life, it is advisable to seek psychological therapy.
Wishing you all the best.
Reply Date: 2017/08/23
More Info
Understanding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder, can be complex and often requires professional evaluation and intervention. Your experiences, as described, suggest that you may be experiencing dissociative symptoms, which can include feelings of detachment from oneself, identity confusion, and memory gaps. Here’s a breakdown of the signs you mentioned and steps you can take.
Signs of Dissociative Identity Disorder
1. Identity Confusion: You mentioned feeling like you were not yourself while looking in the mirror, which can be a sign of identity confusion. This is common in DID, where individuals may feel as though they have multiple identities or personalities that can take control at different times.
2. Dissociation: The feeling of being detached from your thoughts, feelings, or sense of identity is a hallmark of dissociation. Your experience of feeling dizzy and not recognizing yourself can be indicative of dissociative episodes.
3. Memory Gaps: You mentioned experiencing moments of forgetfulness, where you cannot recall events that just happened. This can be a sign of dissociative amnesia, which is often associated with trauma and stress.
4. Mood Variability: The presence of different emotional states, such as feeling depressed or having a more "perverse" personality, can indicate the presence of distinct identities or alters within DID. Each identity may have its own characteristics, memories, and ways of perceiving the world.
Steps to Take
1. Seek Professional Help: It is crucial to consult with a mental health professional who specializes in dissociative disorders. They can provide a thorough assessment and help you understand your experiences better. Therapy can be beneficial in managing symptoms and integrating different aspects of your identity.
2. Document Your Experiences: Keeping a journal of your feelings, thoughts, and experiences can help you and your therapist identify patterns and triggers. This can also provide insight into the different identities you may be experiencing.
3. Establish Grounding Techniques: Grounding techniques can help you stay connected to the present moment and reduce feelings of dissociation. Techniques may include mindfulness exercises, deep breathing, or focusing on your surroundings.
4. Build a Support System: Sharing your experiences with trusted friends or family members can provide emotional support. They can help you feel more grounded and understood.
5. Educate Yourself: Learning more about DID and dissociative symptoms can empower you and reduce feelings of confusion or fear. Understanding that these experiences are part of a recognized psychological condition can help normalize your feelings.
6. Avoid Substance Use: If you find that certain substances exacerbate your symptoms or alter your state of mind, it may be beneficial to avoid them. Substance use can complicate mental health issues and lead to further dissociation.
Conclusion
Your experiences are significant and deserve attention. Dissociative Identity Disorder can be a response to trauma and stress, and it is important to approach your feelings with compassion and understanding. Seeking professional help is a critical step in addressing your concerns and finding effective coping strategies. Remember, you are not alone, and there are resources and support available to help you navigate your experiences.
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