Erection Issues During Intimacy: A Guide for First-Timers - Urology

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My girlfriend helped me relax?


Hello, doctor.
My girlfriend and I are both inexperienced.
During the process of her giving me a handjob and oral sex, I experienced some loss of erection (about 5-6 out of 10 hardness), but she was still able to help me finish.
I would like to ask if this is a problem.
(I have a habit of exercising and masturbate about every 2-3 days.)

er er er, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/08/25

Dr. Liu Mingyue reply Urology


Hello: Masturbation and sexual intercourse are not exactly the same.
It's common for the first experience to be less than ideal, so it's advisable to observe and see how it goes.
Wishing you good health.

Reply Date: 2022/08/25

More Info


Erection issues during intimacy, especially for first-timers, are more common than many people realize. It's important to understand that sexual performance can be influenced by a variety of factors, including anxiety, stress, physical health, and emotional connection with your partner. In your case, experiencing a decrease in erection firmness during intimate moments, such as receiving oral sex or manual stimulation, can be attributed to several factors.

Firstly, it's crucial to recognize that anxiety and nervousness are typical for individuals engaging in sexual activities for the first time. The pressure to perform, coupled with the excitement and potential fear of judgment, can lead to temporary erectile difficulties. This phenomenon is often referred to as "performance anxiety," and it can affect anyone, regardless of their physical health or fitness level.

Given that you maintain a regular exercise routine and engage in masturbation every few days, your physical health likely plays a positive role in your sexual function. However, the psychological aspect cannot be overlooked. The mind and body are closely connected, and feelings of insecurity or nervousness can manifest physically, leading to issues like difficulty maintaining an erection.

It's also worth noting that sexual arousal is a complex interplay of physical stimulation and emotional connection. If you are feeling anxious or distracted during intimate moments, it may affect your ability to maintain an erection. Communication with your partner is key; discussing your feelings and experiences can help alleviate some of the pressure and create a more relaxed environment.

In most cases, occasional difficulties in maintaining an erection are not a cause for concern, especially if you are able to achieve orgasm and ejaculation. However, if you find that these issues persist or worsen over time, it may be beneficial to consult with a healthcare professional. They can help assess any underlying physical or psychological factors that may be contributing to your experience.

Additionally, consider practicing relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or mindfulness, before engaging in intimate activities. These methods can help reduce anxiety and create a more enjoyable experience for both you and your partner. Remember, intimacy is about connection and pleasure, not just performance.

In summary, experiencing some difficulties with erections during intimacy, especially as a first-timer, is quite normal and often linked to anxiety and nervousness. Open communication with your partner, understanding the psychological aspects of sexual performance, and practicing relaxation techniques can all contribute to a more fulfilling intimate experience. If concerns persist, seeking advice from a healthcare professional can provide further guidance and reassurance.

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