Do I Have Depression? My Emotional Struggles

Q: Do I Have Depression? My Emotional Struggles

Hello： If depressive emotions and negative thoughts persist and cannot be shifted, it is indeed important to consider the possibility of depression. <br>It is recommended to seek evaluation and treatment from a child and adolescent psychiatry specialist. <br>Thank you.

Do I have depression?

Hello, doctor.
I would like to know if I might have depression.
I had a decent social life in kindergarten, but I was slightly bullied by classmates, and I wonder if that’s why I gradually became less inclined to initiate play with others starting from elementary school.
It was okay in first grade, but after switching classes in third grade, it became increasingly severe.
I also became very vigilant, often approaching ordinary friendships with skepticism, frequently doubting their intentions.
In fifth grade, I started getting into comics, and I easily empathized with the emotions of the characters.
Since then, my emotions have been somewhat extreme, but I try to view these thoughts as just acting.
I don’t often express negative emotions.
Growing up in a single-parent household, my mother is often not home, which makes me feel lonely.
However, I still wear a smile in front of my younger sister and grandparents, and when I feel sad or wronged, I only cry in secret.
In sixth grade, there was a period when I cried a lot and had very pessimistic thoughts, but I remained rational.
When suicidal thoughts crossed my mind, I would dismiss them.
I later managed to correct some of these thoughts, but I still often feel useless and don’t want to worry my family, so I keep everything bottled up.
Sometimes, I have thoughts of wanting to hurt those who make me unhappy, but I know these are just thoughts.
Does this mean I have depression, or am I just overthinking?

Si Ye, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/10/12

Dr. Wu Menghuan reply Psychiatry

Hello: If depressive emotions and negative thoughts persist and cannot be shifted, it is indeed important to consider the possibility of depression.
It is recommended to seek evaluation and treatment from a child and adolescent psychiatry specialist.
Thank you.

Reply Date: 2022/10/12

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a complex mix of emotions and thoughts that are causing you significant distress. From what you've described, it is possible that you may be dealing with symptoms of depression or another mental health condition. However, diagnosing depression or any mental health disorder requires a comprehensive evaluation by a qualified mental health professional.
Depression is characterized by a persistent feeling of sadness or a lack of interest in activities that were once enjoyable. It can also manifest through various emotional and physical symptoms, including changes in sleep patterns, appetite, energy levels, and concentration. In your case, feelings of loneliness, sadness, and self-doubt, as well as thoughts of self-harm, are concerning signs that should not be overlooked.

Your experiences of being bullied in childhood and feeling isolated in your family dynamics may have contributed to your current emotional state. The fact that you find it difficult to express your negative emotions and often hide your feelings from your family indicates that you may be struggling with emotional regulation. This can lead to a buildup of unresolved feelings, which can exacerbate feelings of depression or anxiety.

It's important to note that having thoughts of self-harm or feeling like you want to hurt others, even if you rationalize them as just thoughts, is a serious matter. These thoughts can indicate that you are in a lot of emotional pain and may need support to navigate these feelings. Seeking help from a mental health professional can provide you with the tools and strategies to cope with these thoughts and feelings in a healthier way.

You mentioned that you often feel like you are not good enough and that you hide your true feelings from your family to avoid worrying them. This is a common experience for many individuals who struggle with depression. The pressure to maintain a façade of happiness can be exhausting and can lead to further isolation and despair. It’s crucial to find safe spaces where you can express your feelings without fear of judgment.

In terms of your question about whether you have depression, it’s essential to understand that only a mental health professional can provide an accurate diagnosis. They will consider your symptoms, personal history, and current circumstances to determine the best course of action. If you are feeling overwhelmed, I strongly encourage you to reach out to a counselor, therapist, or psychologist. Many schools have counseling services available, and there are also community mental health resources that can provide support.

Additionally, it’s important to practice self-care and find healthy outlets for your emotions. Engaging in activities that you enjoy, maintaining a routine, and connecting with supportive friends or family members can help alleviate some of the emotional burden you are carrying. Journaling, as you mentioned, can also be a therapeutic way to process your thoughts and feelings.

Lastly, if you ever feel like you are in crisis or have thoughts of self-harm, please seek immediate help from a trusted adult or a mental health professional. There are hotlines and resources available that can provide immediate support.

In summary, while your experiences and feelings are valid and concerning, a professional evaluation is necessary to determine if you are experiencing depression or another mental health issue. Taking the step to seek help is a courageous and important move towards understanding and improving your emotional well-being.

Similar Q&A

Am I Experiencing Depression? Understanding My Emotional Struggles

I would like to ask... First, when I encounter situations where I don't perform well or when I am criticized, my mood inexplicably drops for a whole day. This feeling is very uncomfortable for me, and I often find it hard to let go of what others say. My emotional fluctuatio...

Dr. Zhou Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
For psychiatrists, we cannot understand a person's inner world through instruments. Therefore, the clearer one can describe their internal experiences, the better. However, many people lack observation and awareness of their inner experiences, making it difficult to express ...

Am I Showing Signs of Depression? Understanding Self-Harm and Emotional Struggles

I used to self-harm quite often whenever I felt unhappy or stressed. Now I am trying to control myself. I've had several suicidal thoughts and images, and recently I've been experiencing insomnia. When I'm alone, I often feel depressed and cry. With school starting...

Dr. Qiu Junda reply Psychiatry
Hello: It seems that you have been struggling with long-term negative emotions. I wonder if there are any specific stressors contributing to this. If so, it would be advisable to address those stressors first. I recommend looking into resources related to emotional management (EQ...

Do I Have Depression? Understanding Emotional Struggles in Teens

I am currently a high school freshman, but since the third year of middle school, I have experienced days of feeling emotionally low every one to two weeks. I have episodes of prolonged crying without any reason, a desire to distance myself from everyone, and thoughts of suicide,...

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello: High school can be a challenging and bitter phase for many, with difficult coursework, frequent exams, lack of freedom, and high pressure. However, this period is merely a transitional stage, and things usually improve significantly once you enter college. I recommend bein...

Understanding Your Emotional Symptoms: A Guide to Mental Health

Hello, I often find myself crying for no reason and feeling easily troubled, but I don't know what I'm worried about. I experience emotional instability, irritability, restlessness, and have a tendency towards insomnia and anxiety. I would like to understand what might ...

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello, your symptoms are more likely indicative of depression. It is advisable to reflect on any recent stressors or concerns you may have. If there are any, consider discussing coping strategies with friends or family. Engaging in stress-relief activities, such as listening to m...