Overcoming Erectile Dysfunction: A 23-Year-Old's Struggle for Confidence - Urology

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Doctor, please help me. This issue is preventing me from dating girls..?


Dear Dr.
Hsu Wei-Kai,
I am 23 years old, weighing 172 cm and 67 kg.
Regarding my previous questions:
1.
If there is no sexual intercourse and no ejaculation, but there is continuous stimulation, my erection only lasts for about 10 seconds when I release my hand during self-stimulation.
2.
I usually experience insufficient erection hardness, which I believe may be due to lack of experience or anxiety.
Shouldn't my erection last longer during self-stimulation?
3.
In my past two experiences, I have faced failures; either my erection goes soft before penetration or it becomes soft shortly after penetration.
4.
Recently, my erections seem to be slower than before.
Could this be due to venous insufficiency or insufficient arterial perfusion caused by high blood lipids? Or could it be related to a urinary stone that might require surgery? Would that be very expensive? Previously, I visited a urology department at a hospital under the Ministry of Health and Welfare, where I discussed my erectile dysfunction with a doctor.
The doctor prescribed antidepressants and a medication claimed to be a Taiwanese version of Viagra.
After taking it several times, I often felt dizzy and sleepy, and my erectile dysfunction does not seem to improve.
I am very worried.
Please help me, as I am only 23, and this issue is preventing me from dating.
Thank you.

A Dong, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2003/10/25

Dr. Xu Weikai reply Urology


Regarding your question, it sounds like a vascular issue, specifically: arterial insufficiency or venous incompetence.
Of course, psychological factors such as anxiety cannot be completely ruled out.
Do you experience natural erections in the morning or when your bladder is full? Here are my suggestions: 1.
Depending on your location, you can consult a specialist in sexual dysfunction, such as Professor Hsieh Ru-Tun or Dr.
Liu Shih-Pin at National Taiwan University; Dr.
Wu Chi-Ju at Shou-Tian Clinic; Professor Chiang Han-Sheng at Taipei Medical University; or Dr.
Huang Shih-Tsong at Linkou Chang Gung Memorial Hospital.
2.
I recommend further detailed examinations, such as nocturnal penile tumescence testing and cavernosography.
3.
Generally, ureteral stones do not affect sexual function.
4.
If surgery is necessary, costs can vary significantly depending on the method, and I cannot provide specific information.
You may want to inquire by phone first.

Reply Date: 2003/10/25

More Info


Overcoming erectile dysfunction (ED) at a young age can be a challenging experience, especially when it affects your confidence and relationships. It's important to understand that ED is not uncommon, even among younger men, and can be influenced by a variety of factors including psychological, physiological, and lifestyle elements.

Firstly, it’s crucial to recognize that anxiety and stress can significantly impact sexual performance. At 23, the pressure to perform can create a cycle of anxiety that exacerbates the problem. If you find that you are experiencing difficulties with maintaining an erection during sexual activity, it may be helpful to consider whether performance anxiety is a contributing factor. This is especially relevant if you have had previous experiences that did not go as planned, leading to a fear of failure in future encounters.

Regarding your specific concerns:
1. Erection Duration and Hardness: The fact that you can achieve an erection but it lasts only a short time may indicate that while you can physically respond, psychological factors are at play. If you find that your erections are not as firm as they used to be, this could be due to anxiety, which can lead to a lack of blood flow to the penis.
2. Self-Stimulation vs. Partnered Activity: It’s not uncommon for men to experience different levels of arousal when they are alone compared to when they are with a partner. If you find that you can achieve an erection during self-stimulation but struggle during partnered activity, this could further indicate that anxiety or fear of judgment is affecting your performance.

3. Physical Health Considerations: You mentioned concerns about potential physical issues such as venous leakage or arterial insufficiency. While these conditions can contribute to ED, they are less common in younger men. It’s advisable to consult with a healthcare professional who can conduct appropriate tests to rule out any underlying medical issues. Conditions like high cholesterol or diabetes can affect blood flow, but these are typically more prevalent in older individuals.

4. Medication Side Effects: The medications you were prescribed, including antidepressants, can sometimes have side effects that impact sexual function. If you are experiencing dizziness or fatigue, it’s important to discuss these symptoms with your doctor. There may be alternative medications or treatments that can be more effective for you.

5. Seeking Help: It’s commendable that you have already sought help from a urologist. If you feel that your concerns were not adequately addressed, consider seeking a second opinion. A healthcare provider specializing in sexual health can provide tailored advice and treatment options.
6. Lifestyle Factors: Consider evaluating your lifestyle choices. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and avoiding excessive alcohol or smoking can improve overall health and potentially enhance sexual function.
7. Therapy and Counseling: Since psychological factors can play a significant role in ED, engaging in therapy or counseling may be beneficial. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can help address anxiety and build confidence in sexual situations.

8. Communication with Partners: If you are comfortable, discussing your concerns with a potential partner can alleviate some pressure. Open communication can foster understanding and support, which may help reduce anxiety during intimate moments.

In conclusion, while experiencing erectile dysfunction at a young age can be distressing, it is important to remember that it is a common issue and can often be treated effectively. By addressing both the psychological and physical aspects of your situation, you can work towards regaining confidence and improving your sexual health. Don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help, as there are many resources available to support you in this journey.

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