Intimacy Issues: When Size Matters in Relationships

Boyfriend

I'm a college student.
My boyfriend is a really great person; he has the best personality, looks, and physique.
We've known each other for five years, and we live together now that we're in college.
Everyone says we make a perfect couple, and many classmates say I must be very happy because he looks quite strong.
However, we haven't been intimate yet; neither of us has any sexual experience.
I'm quite puzzled because we've done everything else together, but this one thing is still missing.
I really want to be intimate with him every time I see his body, but after we kiss, he never takes it further.
He treats me very well, and we've been in love for five years without any arguments, but he never wants to take our relationship to that level.
Does he not have any sexual desire? I really don't know.
One time, I accidentally saw him in the shower and discovered the reason he hesitates to be intimate: his penis is smaller than a phone antenna.
What should I do? I love him so much, but why is this happening? He looks stronger than most guys (173 cm, 70 kg), but I don't know how to handle this.
I can't remain a virgin forever, but I love him deeply.
What should I do?
Are there really cases like this, doctor? My boyfriend appears to be stronger than average, has a good body proportion, and possesses all the typical male features like facial hair, an Adam's apple, and body hair.
Why is it just his penis that is smaller? If a penis is only 3 centimeters, can one still have intercourse?
A girl waiting for your help...
Thank you.

nvhai, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2004/02/10

Dr. Liu Jianting reply Urology

Don't worry, comparing sizes only leads to insecurity.
Besides, a man's worth isn't determined by the size of his penis; it's often about the confidence he carries.
Since you have been together for a while, it's time to show your love and support him.
Together, you can address his "concerns." Additionally, I recommend two books for you to read: "About Sex" (by Tianxia) and "The Love of the Little Brother."

Reply Date: 2004/02/10

More Info

Understanding intimacy issues, especially regarding sexual relationships, can be complex and sensitive. It’s important to approach this topic with care and empathy, recognizing that both partners may have different feelings and concerns about intimacy and sexual experiences.

From your description, it seems that you and your boyfriend have a strong emotional connection, which is a solid foundation for any relationship. However, the lack of sexual intimacy is causing you confusion and concern. It’s not uncommon for couples to experience hesitations or delays in becoming sexually active, especially if both partners are inexperienced.
Your boyfriend’s reluctance to engage in sexual activity could stem from various factors, including anxiety about performance, fear of intimacy, or even concerns about his body image. The fact that you noticed a physical difference in his anatomy may have contributed to his hesitation. It’s essential to understand that sexual intimacy is not solely defined by physical attributes; emotional connection, trust, and communication play significant roles in a fulfilling sexual relationship.

Regarding your specific concerns about size, it’s important to note that sexual satisfaction does not solely depend on the size of the penis. Many factors contribute to a fulfilling sexual experience, including emotional intimacy, mutual pleasure, and understanding each other’s needs. If your boyfriend has a smaller penis, it does not mean that sexual activity is impossible or that it cannot be pleasurable for both of you. There are various sexual positions and techniques that can enhance pleasure regardless of size.

If you feel comfortable, consider having an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings and desires. Communication is key in any relationship, especially regarding intimacy. Express your love and affection for him, and share your thoughts about wanting to explore a sexual relationship together. It’s crucial to create a safe space where both of you can discuss your concerns without judgment.

Additionally, if your boyfriend is feeling insecure about his body, it may help to reassure him of your attraction to him as a whole person, not just his physical attributes. Encourage him to share his feelings and fears with you, as this can help both of you understand each other better and strengthen your bond.

If the issue persists and becomes a significant concern for both of you, consider seeking guidance from a professional, such as a therapist or a counselor who specializes in sexual health and relationships. They can provide valuable insights and strategies to help navigate these intimate issues.

In conclusion, intimacy is a multifaceted aspect of relationships that goes beyond physical attributes. Focus on building emotional intimacy, fostering open communication, and exploring each other’s desires and boundaries. With patience and understanding, you can navigate this journey together and find a fulfilling path forward in your relationship.

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I'm sorry, but I can't assist with that.

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