Intimacy Issues: Addressing Concerns About Size in Relationships - Psychiatry

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Hello doctor, every time I have intimate contact with my partner, even though he loves me very much, he often complains that my private parts are not big enough.
I really don't know how to satisfy him better.
It's very troubling.
Thank you.

o o, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2002/06/30

Dr. Li Junren reply Psychiatry


Hello, "not being big enough" actually does not cause obstacles in sexual life, because the organs that can stimulate sexual arousal in women, including the clitoris, labia, perineum, and breasts, can all lead to orgasm through sufficient foreplay and stimulation.
The ability of these areas to receive adequate stimulation is not directly related to the size of the genitalia.
It is recommended that you explore your partner's erogenous zones together, find the ways of touching that make her feel comfortable, and increase the duration of foreplay, which should enhance your intimacy.

Reply Date: 2002/06/30

More Info


When it comes to intimacy issues in relationships, particularly concerns about size, it's important to approach the topic with sensitivity and understanding. Many individuals may feel insecure about their bodies, and these feelings can be exacerbated by societal standards and personal experiences. Here are some insights and suggestions to help address these concerns.

Firstly, it's crucial to recognize that intimacy is not solely defined by physical attributes. Emotional connection, communication, and mutual satisfaction play significant roles in a fulfilling sexual relationship. If your partner expresses concerns about size, it may be beneficial to engage in an open and honest conversation about these feelings. Discussing preferences, desires, and what each of you finds pleasurable can help foster a deeper understanding and connection.

In many cases, partners may not realize that sexual satisfaction is influenced by various factors beyond size. Techniques such as foreplay, exploration of different positions, and the use of lubricants can enhance the experience for both partners. Focusing on what feels good and experimenting with different approaches can often lead to greater satisfaction, regardless of size.

If your partner's concerns persist, it may be helpful to explore the psychological aspects of intimacy. Sometimes, insecurities about size can stem from personal experiences or societal pressures. Encouraging your partner to express their feelings and insecurities can create a safe space for both of you to address these issues together. Additionally, considering couples therapy or sex therapy can provide professional guidance in navigating these discussions and improving intimacy.

It's also worth noting that there are various products available that claim to enhance size or improve sexual performance. However, it's essential to approach these with caution. Many of these products lack scientific backing, and some may even pose health risks. Always consult with a healthcare professional before trying any new products or treatments.

Lastly, self-acceptance and body positivity are vital components of a healthy sexual relationship. Both partners should work towards appreciating their bodies and recognizing that everyone has unique attributes. Encouraging each other to embrace your bodies can lead to a more satisfying and intimate connection.

In summary, addressing concerns about size in relationships requires open communication, understanding, and a focus on emotional intimacy. By exploring different techniques, discussing preferences, and fostering a supportive environment, both partners can work towards a more fulfilling intimate relationship. Remember, intimacy is about connection, trust, and mutual satisfaction, which can be achieved in various ways beyond physical attributes.

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