Should I Seek Help for My Emotional Struggles?

I'm not sure whether I should see a psychiatrist?

Hello, doctor.
I am currently in the second year of high school.
In the second year of junior high, I often had intense arguments with my family and didn't know how to express my emotions or communicate, so I resorted to self-harm by scratching my nails on my skin until it bled.
I felt alive only through the pain.
I also had suicidal thoughts, but after my family situation improved in the third year of junior high, those thoughts disappeared.
However, this year, for some reason, I experience sudden periods of low mood and suicidal thoughts every month, feeling lost about the meaning of life.
Occasionally, I find myself breaking down in tears without knowing why.
I also feel guilty towards my parents for being such a worthless daughter, which adds to my feelings of shame.

I have wondered if this could be premenstrual syndrome, but the timing doesn't consistently align with my menstrual cycle, and it's not triggered by academic pressure.
My relationships with family and friends are very good, and I am generally seen as an outgoing and cheerful person in my friend group.
Yet, when these emotional episodes pass, I return to my usual happy self.
However, when the emotions surge again, I start to struggle.
Today, after a minor argument with my family, I suddenly scratched my arm with my nails, and it was painful enough to bring me back to reality.
I realized that I hadn't done this in several years, and it seems like my condition is worsening.
The emotions surged again, similar to before, and I felt guilty towards my parents, even having thoughts of jumping into the river.

Since this happens only a few times a month, I usually manage to hold it in, and after a few days, I feel better.
Therefore, I'm uncertain if these symptoms are serious enough to warrant seeing a doctor, which is why I'm reaching out to you.
I apologize for taking up your time and medical resources.
Thank you, doctor, for your hard work!

Niming, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2024/04/08

Dr. Wu Menghuan reply Psychiatry

Hello, you mentioned that since the second year of junior high, you have often felt frustrated when communicating with your family, leading to feelings of sadness, self-harm behaviors, and even suicidal thoughts.
This year, you have started experiencing sudden and inexplicable mood drops every month, thoughts of suicide, a lack of meaning in life, crying spells, and negative thoughts, and you have even begun to exhibit self-harm behaviors and suicidal ideation again.
The symptoms you described are very likely indicative of depression.
I recommend that you seek evaluation and treatment at a child and adolescent psychiatry clinic, accompanied by a family member.
Thank you for your message, and I wish you peace and well-being.

Reply Date: 2024/04/08

More Info

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly challenging time, and I want to commend you for reaching out and expressing your feelings. The emotional struggles you are experiencing, including self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and feelings of worthlessness, are serious and deserve attention. It's important to understand that you are not alone in this; many people face similar challenges, and seeking help is a brave and crucial step toward healing.

From what you've described, it seems that your emotional state fluctuates, with periods of feeling okay followed by sudden dips into despair. This pattern can be confusing and distressing, especially when it feels like there is no clear trigger for your emotional downturns. It's also concerning that you have resorted to self-harm as a way to cope with your feelings. While it may provide temporary relief, it is not a healthy or sustainable way to manage emotional pain.

Given your history of emotional struggles and the recent resurgence of self-harming behaviors, I strongly encourage you to seek professional help. A mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide you with the support and guidance you need. They can help you explore the underlying causes of your feelings, teach you healthier coping mechanisms, and work with you to develop strategies to manage your emotions more effectively.

It's also worth noting that your feelings of guilt towards your parents and the sense of being a burden are common among individuals experiencing mental health issues. However, it's essential to recognize that your worth is not defined by your struggles. Your parents likely want you to be happy and healthy, and seeking help is a way to honor that desire.

In terms of confidentiality, mental health professionals are bound by strict ethical guidelines to protect your privacy. You can discuss your concerns about confidentiality with them upfront, and they will explain how your information will be handled. This assurance can help alleviate some of the fears you may have about seeking help.

Additionally, consider reaching out to trusted friends or family members about what you're going through. Sometimes, sharing your feelings with someone who cares can provide immediate relief and support. You might also explore school counseling services, as many schools have resources available for students facing emotional difficulties.

Lastly, while it may feel daunting, engaging in self-care practices can also be beneficial. Activities such as journaling, practicing mindfulness or meditation, engaging in physical exercise, and pursuing hobbies can help you express your emotions in healthier ways and provide a sense of accomplishment and joy.

In conclusion, your emotional struggles are significant, and seeking help is not only advisable but necessary. You deserve support and guidance as you navigate these feelings. Please take that step to reach out to a mental health professional; it could be the turning point you need to start feeling better. Remember, you are not alone, and there is hope for a brighter future.

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