Could you please tell me if there is a possibility that I have depression?
Hello, doctor.
I am currently a high school student, and since the end of March, I have been experiencing significant emotional instability.
I visited the counseling office on April 11.
During this time, I have been unable to control thoughts of suicide and have been crying for no apparent reason, which is very different from how I used to be.
Recently, my family has also been putting a lot of pressure on me.
I find myself wanting to cry during class and often go home to hide in the bathroom and cry, pretending everything is fine when I come out.
This has been my entire month.
When I am in a bad state, I search through psychological tests, and in the past few days, when I feel overwhelmed, I have been scratching my hands.
I only realize the blood marks after calming down, and even last night, seeing the scars brought me an inexplicable sense of relief.
I feel like I have developed a liking for these wounds.
Many tests indicate that I am experiencing moderate to severe depression, but I am afraid of the inaccuracies found online.
For the past two days, I have also lost my sense of taste, but I am unsure if it is related to my emotions.
When I am feeling good, I do not smile, but when I am feeling bad, I feel completely out of control and that nothing is right.
I am uncertain whether I should seek help from a doctor.
I have tried going to the counseling office, but it hasn’t been helpful for me.
I have written many suicide notes, and I was never someone who cried so easily.
I feel like I have changed significantly, yet I force myself to wear a smile in front of everyone.
Niming, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2024/05/04
Dr. Li Zhengfeng reply Psychiatry
Hello: According to what you mentioned in your letter, you are exhibiting typical symptoms of depression.
It is advisable to seek consultation with a specialist as soon as possible to arrange for appropriate treatment.
Wishing you a speedy recovery.
Reply Date: 2024/05/04
More Info
It sounds like you are going through an incredibly challenging time, and I want to acknowledge the courage it takes to express your feelings and seek help. Based on what you've shared, it does seem that you are experiencing symptoms that could be indicative of depression. The feelings of sadness, emotional instability, thoughts of self-harm, and the overwhelming pressure from family and school are all significant concerns that should not be taken lightly.
Depression is a complex mental health condition that can manifest in various ways, including persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities once enjoyed, changes in appetite or sleep patterns, and difficulty concentrating. The fact that you are experiencing uncontrollable crying, thoughts of self-harm, and feelings of being overwhelmed suggests that you may be struggling with more than just temporary sadness. It’s important to understand that these feelings are not a reflection of your worth or abilities; they are symptoms of a condition that can be treated.
You mentioned that you have tried visiting the counseling office but did not find it helpful. It’s not uncommon for individuals to feel that way, especially if they don’t connect with the counselor or if the approach doesn’t resonate with them. However, I encourage you to keep seeking help. Finding the right mental health professional can make a significant difference. Consider looking for a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in adolescent mental health. They can provide a safe space for you to express your feelings and work with you to develop coping strategies.
The thoughts of self-harm and the comfort you find in those injuries are particularly concerning. Self-harm is often a way to cope with emotional pain, but it can lead to more serious issues. It’s crucial to talk to someone who can help you find healthier coping mechanisms. There are many strategies that can be effective, such as mindfulness, journaling, or engaging in creative outlets like art or music. Exercise can also be beneficial, as it releases endorphins that can improve your mood.
Regarding your concerns about the accuracy of online assessments, it’s wise to be cautious. While they can provide some insight, they are not a substitute for a professional evaluation. A mental health professional can conduct a comprehensive assessment and provide a diagnosis based on your specific symptoms and experiences.
You mentioned feeling a lack of taste, which could indeed be related to your emotional state. Depression can affect physical health in various ways, including appetite and sensory perception. It’s essential to address both your mental and physical health in this situation.
Lastly, I want to emphasize that you are not alone in this struggle. Many young people face similar challenges, and reaching out for help is a vital step toward recovery. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, but it’s also important to take action. Please consider talking to a trusted adult, whether that’s a family member, teacher, or school counselor, about your feelings. They can help guide you to the appropriate resources.
In summary, it’s crucial to seek professional help, especially given the severity of your symptoms. You deserve support and care, and there are people who can help you navigate this difficult time. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and taking that step is a sign of strength.
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