Depression: A High School Student's Struggle and Solutions

Q: Depression: A High School Student's Struggle and Solutions

Hello, 隆： <br>The first year of high school is always filled with expectations regarding romantic relationships. <br>I believe you must have been very happy at some point, but the world of emotions often comes with many disappointments. <br>After reading your letter, I can sense

Depression

Hello, doctor.
I am a high school student and I'm unsure if I am suffering from depression.
Could you please help me with how to improve my situation? In middle school, I had a very carefree school life, but I also faced significant pressure from the entrance exams.
A few months ago, I started dating a girl.
At first, everything seemed fine, but as time went on, I began to feel heartbroken over things that I initially thought were insignificant.

I noticed my girlfriend laughing and joking with other boys, which made me very sad and hurt.
I thought it would just be a fleeting feeling, but it turned out to be more persistent than I expected.
As time passed, seeing her have fun with those boys felt like a deep stab to my heart, causing me immense pain.
I hoped she would share the same laughter with me, but that was not the case.
Each day, I felt more sorrowful and disappointed as I watched her enjoy herself with others while my own interactions with her dwindled to almost nothing.

I used to be a very lively person, but after enduring this for over three months, I began to withdraw.
I preferred to walk alone instead of hanging out with friends, and I became less talkative.
Accumulating all these feelings of neglect and indifference from my girlfriend made me feel increasingly isolated.
I silently guarded this unreciprocated love, not knowing where it would lead.

As the days passed, I started to have thoughts of suicide, wanting to escape this world.
Perhaps it was due to the accumulation of pain, loneliness, and sadness.
After three months, I was labeled as withdrawn by others, and indeed, I felt very isolated and depressed.
My personality changed significantly; I became quiet, lacking a smile, and even the funniest things couldn’t make me laugh.

As time went on, I entered high school, but I was in a different school from my girlfriend.
The emotional burden grew heavier, and I found myself overthinking a lot.
I experienced sleep deprivation, often feeling depressed and lonely, longing for my girlfriend's company, which I couldn't have.
My mood worsened, and I became increasingly unhappy.
Sometimes, misunderstandings led to arguments with my girlfriend.
I tried to be understanding and accommodating, but seeing her get angry with me day by day left me feeling disappointed and sad.

With each argument, my depression intensified, and I was unsure of what to do next.
I was sleep-deprived and felt exhausted at school, despite having slept for a long time.
I don't understand what's happening to me, and I hope you can help me assess whether I might be suffering from depression.
If so, how can I resolve this? Please let me know the solutions.
Thank you.

Long, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2003/10/31

Dr. Chen Wenke reply Psychiatry

Hello, 隆:
The first year of high school is always filled with expectations regarding romantic relationships.
I believe you must have been very happy at some point, but the world of emotions often comes with many disappointments.
After reading your letter, I can sense your persistence and your pain, but it seems that these feelings cannot win back the heart of your female friend.
There are certainly many issues at play here.
To be honest, at your age, seeking a stable relationship can be quite challenging due to numerous variables that interfere with each other.
Perspectives often differ, and people have different understandings of the same situation.
During this period, teenagers naturally have many friends of the opposite sex, and friends are quite different from a boyfriend or girlfriend.
If you see your girlfriend talking to other male friends and you wear a long face, it might seem a bit odd, right? You probably hope that your friends are cheerful, and similarly, your girlfriend would like you to be cheerful as well.
Currently, you are in a state of severe depression, and it is really important to seek help from a psychiatrist.
Wishing you well.

Reply Date: 2003/10/31

More Info

It's clear from your message that you're experiencing a significant amount of emotional distress, which may indeed be indicative of depression. The feelings of sadness, isolation, and hopelessness you describe, along with changes in your behavior and sleep patterns, are common symptoms of depression. It's important to recognize that you're not alone in this struggle, and seeking help is a vital step toward feeling better.

Understanding Depression
Depression is a mental health condition that affects how you feel, think, and handle daily activities. It can manifest in various ways, including persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed, changes in appetite or sleep patterns, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, and even thoughts of self-harm or suicide. In your case, the emotional pain stemming from your relationship and the pressures of transitioning to high school have compounded these feelings, leading to a cycle of sadness and isolation.

The Impact of Relationships
Relationships, especially during adolescence, can significantly influence your emotional well-being. It sounds like your relationship with your girlfriend has caused you a lot of pain, particularly as you perceive her interactions with other boys. This jealousy and fear of losing her can lead to feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. It's crucial to understand that these feelings are valid, but they can also distort your perception of reality. Communication is key in any relationship; expressing your feelings to your girlfriend might help clarify misunderstandings and strengthen your bond.

Coping Strategies
Here are some strategies that may help you cope with your feelings and improve your mental health:
1. Talk to Someone: Whether it's a trusted friend, family member, or a mental health professional, sharing your feelings can provide relief and perspective. Sometimes, just verbalizing your thoughts can help you process them.

2. Seek Professional Help: Given the intensity of your feelings, it might be beneficial to speak with a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. They can provide a proper assessment and recommend treatment options, which may include therapy or medication.

3. Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that promote your well-being. This could include exercise, which is known to boost mood, maintaining a healthy diet, and ensuring you get enough sleep. Even small activities, like going for a walk or listening to music, can make a difference.

4. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to express what you're going through. It can help you identify patterns in your emotions and provide a safe space to explore your feelings.

5. Limit Social Media: If social media contributes to your feelings of inadequacy or jealousy, consider taking a break from it. Social media can often present an unrealistic view of others' lives, which can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and depression.

6. Set Small Goals: When you're feeling overwhelmed, setting small, achievable goals can help you regain a sense of control. This could be as simple as completing a homework assignment or spending time with a friend.

7. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga can help reduce anxiety and improve your mood.

When to Seek Immediate Help
If you ever feel like you might harm yourself or have thoughts of suicide, it's crucial to seek help immediately. Contact a trusted adult, a mental health professional, or a crisis hotline. Your safety is the most important thing.

Conclusion
Recognizing that you may be experiencing depression is a significant first step. It's essential to take your feelings seriously and seek the support you need. Remember, you don't have to go through this alone, and there are people and resources available to help you navigate this challenging time. With the right support and strategies, you can work towards feeling better and regaining your sense of joy and connection.

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