Is My Daughter's Self-Harm Linked to My Depression?

Q: Is My Daughter's Self-Harm Linked to My Depression?

Hello： I apologize for the delay in my response due to recent busyness. <br>Your question concerns your young daughter's emotional issues, specifically her self-injurious behavior or more severe self-harming actions, and whether these are related to genetics. <br>Currently, the l

Is this considered depression or a hereditary mental disorder?

Before I became pregnant with my daughter, I already had symptoms of depression (not triggered by prenatal or postpartum issues).
However, I did not seek help from a physician, and these symptoms have not improved.
When the stress becomes overwhelming, I tend to cope by engaging in self-harm (though not to the extent of suicidal behavior or substance abuse).
My daughter is now nearly 2 years old.
Since she was under 1 year old (when she was already able to express her emotions clearly), I noticed that whenever she gets angry (for example, when she doesn't get what she wants or when she's scolded), she tends to bang her head against furniture or hit her own head.
Watching her express her emotions in this way deeply concerns me...
because I see other children typically express their feelings through crying or screaming.
However, my daughter resorts to self-harm, which is alarming.
Is it possible that my own issues are affecting her?

Hui Rong, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2004/03/29

Dr. Lin Yanhong reply Psychiatry

Hello: I apologize for the delay in my response due to recent busyness.
Your question concerns your young daughter's emotional issues, specifically her self-injurious behavior or more severe self-harming actions, and whether these are related to genetics.
Currently, the literature does not provide direct evidence linking self-injury or self-harm behaviors to genetic factors.
Moreover, these behaviors are symptomatic reflections rather than diagnoses.
To truly understand the factors that shape or contribute to these behaviors, it is essential to explore your daughter's situation further.
I recommend consulting a child psychiatrist for a discussion.
Additionally, it is important for you to address your own well-being, as you may be unknowingly influencing your daughter.
Dr.
Lin

Reply Date: 2004/03/29

More Info

Your concerns about your daughter's self-harming behavior and its potential link to your own struggles with depression are both valid and deeply important. It’s crucial to understand that children often mirror the emotional and behavioral patterns they observe in their caregivers. This phenomenon, known as emotional contagion, can manifest in various ways, including through self-harm or aggressive behaviors in children.

Firstly, it’s important to recognize that your own experiences with depression and self-harm can indeed influence your daughter’s emotional responses. Children are incredibly perceptive and can pick up on their parents' emotional states, even if those feelings are not explicitly expressed. If you are struggling with depression and using self-harm as a coping mechanism, your daughter may be internalizing these behaviors as a way to express her own frustrations or emotional pain.
Self-harm in young children, such as hitting themselves or banging their heads, is often a sign of distress or an inability to cope with overwhelming emotions. It can be a way for them to communicate feelings they cannot articulate verbally. In your daughter's case, her actions may indicate that she is feeling frustrated, angry, or sad, and she lacks the tools to express these emotions in a healthier way.
It's also essential to consider the environment in which your daughter is growing up. If she is exposed to a parent who is struggling with mental health issues, she may not only feel the emotional weight of that struggle but may also feel insecure or anxious about her own emotional safety. This can lead to maladaptive coping strategies, such as self-harm, as she tries to navigate her feelings.

To address these concerns, it is highly recommended that you seek professional help for both yourself and your daughter. A mental health professional can provide you with the necessary tools to manage your depression and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Therapy can also be beneficial for your daughter, as a child psychologist or therapist can help her learn to express her emotions in a constructive manner and develop coping strategies that do not involve self-harm.

Additionally, creating a supportive and nurturing environment at home is crucial. Open communication about feelings, validating her emotions, and teaching her appropriate ways to express anger or frustration can significantly impact her emotional development. Encouraging her to use words to express her feelings, engaging in play therapy, or introducing her to activities that promote emotional expression, such as art or music, can also be beneficial.

In conclusion, while your daughter's self-harming behavior may be linked to your own struggles with depression, it is essential to approach this situation with compassion and a proactive mindset. Seeking professional help for both of you is a vital step in breaking this cycle and fostering a healthier emotional environment for your daughter. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are resources available to help you both heal and grow.

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