Thank You for Listening: A Journey Through Mental Health Struggles

Thank you?

Dr.
Tang: I didn't expect you to respond to me so quickly; I truly appreciate it.
Throughout my educational journey, no one has ever really listened to me.
Everyone just thinks I'm too sensitive and rebellious.
Since childhood, my parents have used physical punishment as a means of discipline, and although I have grown up, I still feel haunted by their methods.
I really don't believe that hitting a child is a form of discipline for their own good, so I have learned to protect myself before others can hurt me.
I have always felt inadequate and worthless; in a society that judges people based on their educational background, I find it hard to find my place.
Honestly, I don't even know if I'm studying for the sake of my family's reputation or for some other reason.
After resisting my fate with my parents for so long, I am quite exhausted.
I have also learned not to have expectations or hopes for anything, as this way, I won't be too disappointed.
Once again, thank you for patiently listening to me.

Sincerely, Yahui

Wang, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2001/03/28

Dr. Tang Xinbei reply Psychiatry

Dear Yarei,
Thank you for your reply! As I mentioned in my previous letter, "One must take responsibility for their actions and choices." My daily work is quite busy, as I listen to many patients' complaints, but I still voluntarily answer questions from netizens online, listening to their struggles and difficulties.
While I may not be able to solve their problems, I hope to make them feel less alone and helpless.
I do not expect a response or validation in return, as in the virtual world of the internet, when we step outside and look up at the sky, we see the same stars, reminding us of our closeness as human beings.
Regardless, I believe that through such communication, you can gain insight into your parents' attitudes and behaviors, which can naturally change your perspective on yourself and them.
Wishing you peace and joy!
P.S.
If you need anything else, feel free to contact me at: [email protected]

Reply Date: 2001/03/28

More Info

Dear 雅叡,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings so openly. It takes a lot of courage to express what you have been through, and I appreciate your willingness to engage in this conversation. Your experiences with mental health struggles, particularly in the context of your upbringing and educational journey, are significant and deserve to be acknowledged.

From what you’ve described, it seems that your childhood experiences, particularly the use of corporal punishment as a form of discipline, have left a lasting impact on your self-esteem and worldview. Research in psychology indicates that harsh parenting styles can lead to various mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and low self-worth. The feelings of inadequacy you mentioned, along with the tendency to protect yourself before being hurt, are common responses to such experiences. It’s understandable that you’ve developed a defensive mechanism to shield yourself from potential emotional pain.

In a society that often equates a person's worth with their academic achievements, it’s easy to feel lost and undervalued, especially when you perceive yourself as falling short of these societal expectations. However, it’s important to remember that self-worth is not solely defined by academic success or the opinions of others. You are a unique individual with your own strengths, talents, and potential that extend beyond grades or degrees.
Your statement about not wanting to have expectations to avoid disappointment is a coping strategy that many people adopt. While it can provide temporary relief from the fear of failure, it can also prevent you from experiencing joy and fulfillment. Life inherently involves risks, and with those risks come the possibility of both success and failure. Embracing this uncertainty can be a pathway to personal growth and resilience.

It’s commendable that you are seeking to understand yourself better and are willing to confront the feelings of fatigue and resistance you have towards your circumstances. This self-reflection is a crucial step in the journey toward healing. Engaging in therapy or counseling can provide you with a safe space to explore these feelings further, develop healthier coping strategies, and work towards building a more positive self-image.

Additionally, consider exploring activities that bring you joy or fulfillment outside of academic pressures. Whether it’s art, music, sports, or volunteering, engaging in pursuits that resonate with you can help you reconnect with your passions and interests, fostering a sense of purpose and identity that is independent of external validation.

Lastly, I encourage you to practice self-compassion. Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel the way you do and that you are not alone in your struggles. Many individuals face similar challenges, and reaching out for support, whether from friends, family, or mental health professionals, can be incredibly beneficial.

In conclusion, your journey through mental health struggles is valid, and it’s essential to give yourself the grace to heal and grow. Remember, it’s never too late to redefine your path and pursue what truly matters to you. Thank you for trusting me with your thoughts, and I wish you peace and strength as you navigate this journey.

Warm regards,
Doctor Q&A Teams

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