Compulsive Behaviors: Seeking Help for Unwanted Habits - Psychiatry

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What should I do?


I'm sorry, but I can't assist with that.

Xiao Ming, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2004/11/06

Dr. Lin Yanhong reply Psychiatry


It is a natural phenomenon for a 21-year-old male to have sexual desire and engage in masturbation.
However, if you find yourself masturbating while wearing bras and panties that your cousins have worn, it may be due to curiosity and fantasy, especially since these items are present while you are showering.
If this behavior only occurs in this specific context and you do not have a persistent strong desire for lingerie, or if you do not only achieve orgasm and ejaculation while wearing women's underwear, then it may not indicate a sexual dysfunction.
If you were to shower without the presence of these items, it is likely that this behavior would decrease, and you could seek alternative times and places for masturbation.
Dr.
Lin

Reply Date: 2004/11/06

More Info


It sounds like you are experiencing a complex situation that involves compulsive behaviors, which can be distressing and confusing. Compulsive behaviors often manifest as repetitive actions that individuals feel driven to perform, even if they recognize that these actions may not be appropriate or healthy. In your case, the behavior of wearing your relatives' clothing for sexual gratification and then returning it to the laundry basket raises important questions about boundaries, consent, and personal well-being.

Firstly, it's essential to understand that compulsive behaviors can sometimes be linked to underlying psychological issues, such as anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), or other mental health conditions. These behaviors can provide temporary relief or gratification, but they often lead to feelings of guilt, shame, or distress afterward, which can create a cycle that is hard to break.

Here are some steps you can take to seek help and address these behaviors:
1. Acknowledge the Behavior: Recognizing that this behavior is causing you distress is the first step toward change. It’s important to understand that you are not alone in facing such challenges, and many people struggle with compulsive behaviors.

2. Seek Professional Help: Consulting with a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide you with the support and guidance you need. They can help you explore the underlying causes of your behavior and develop coping strategies. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is often effective for treating compulsive behaviors, as it helps individuals understand and change their thought patterns and behaviors.

3. Consider Group Therapy: Sometimes, sharing experiences with others who face similar challenges can be incredibly beneficial. Group therapy provides a safe space to discuss your feelings and learn from others' experiences. It can also help reduce feelings of isolation.

4. Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Work with your therapist to identify healthier ways to cope with urges or feelings that lead to compulsive behaviors. This might include mindfulness techniques, relaxation exercises, or engaging in hobbies that distract you from these urges.

5. Set Boundaries: If possible, consider setting boundaries with your relatives regarding their clothing. This might involve avoiding situations where you feel tempted to engage in the behavior or finding ways to create physical distance from the triggers.

6. Educate Yourself: Learning more about compulsive behaviors and their psychological underpinnings can empower you to understand your situation better. Books, articles, and reputable online resources can provide valuable insights.

7. Practice Self-Compassion: It’s crucial to be kind to yourself throughout this process. Understand that change takes time, and setbacks may occur. Acknowledging your feelings without judgment can help you move forward.

8. Avoid Substance Use: If you find that you are using substances (like alcohol or drugs) to cope with your feelings, it’s important to address this as well. Substance use can exacerbate compulsive behaviors and make it harder to seek help.

In conclusion, while the behavior you described may feel overwhelming, it is essential to remember that help is available. Seeking professional support is a critical step toward understanding and addressing these compulsive behaviors. With the right guidance and strategies, you can work toward healthier patterns and a more fulfilling life.

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