Erectile Dysfunction: How to Support Your Partner - Urology

Share to:

Erectile dysfunction?


Hello Doctor: After an argument in November, my husband has been unable to achieve an erection.
Although we have reconciled, he now has no sensation at all.
Previously, he could be aroused at any time, but now, whether during the day, in the morning, or even while watching adult films together, he remains flaccid and feels nothing.
This has left him very discouraged, but he is unwilling (or afraid) to go to the hospital.
What can I do to help him? Looking forward to happiness, Rin.

rin, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2004/12/13

Dr. Xu Weikai reply Urology


Rin: Hello, I think your husband is around 35 years old.
Theoretically, at this age, he should be at his peak in terms of experience and physical ability regarding sexual activity, and there shouldn't be any issues in this area.
The most likely scenario is that it could be psychologically influenced.
Perhaps you two rarely argue, or the last argument was too intense, leading to some changes in how you feel about each other.
On the surface, it may seem like everything is back to normal, but there might still be some unresolved feelings.
For issues like this, I recommend consulting a psychologist (in the fields of psychosomatic medicine or psychiatry) for comprehensive psychological support.
If he is unwilling to go, then it may fall on you to take a more proactive role in your sexual life, actively stimulating his desires, and the sooner, the better.
If this is prolonged, it could lead to doubts about his sexual abilities, making it even harder to address.
Additionally, you might consider incorporating some relaxing foods or beverages, such as alcoholic drinks.
According to statistics, about 50-60% of women find it easier to reach orgasm, while 20-40% of men feel that achieving and maintaining an erection is easier.
You could give it a try; of course, moderation is key—getting drunk is not a solution! Good luck, and best wishes from the Taitung Hospital of the Department of Health, Executive Yuan, Urology Department, Director Hsu Wei-Kai.

Reply Date: 2004/12/13

More Info


Dear Rin,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your concerns about your husband's erectile dysfunction (ED). It's understandable that this situation can be distressing for both of you, especially given the emotional context surrounding its onset. Supporting a partner dealing with ED requires sensitivity, understanding, and a proactive approach to encourage them to seek help.

Understanding Erectile Dysfunction:
Erectile dysfunction is a common issue that can affect men of all ages, but it is particularly prevalent among older men. It can stem from various causes, including psychological factors such as stress, anxiety, or depression, as well as physical factors like hormonal imbalances, cardiovascular issues, or diabetes. In your husband's case, the onset following a conflict suggests that psychological factors may play a significant role. Stress and emotional turmoil can significantly impact sexual function, leading to a cycle of anxiety that exacerbates the problem.

How to Support Your Partner:
1. Open Communication:
Start by fostering an open and non-judgmental dialogue about his feelings and experiences. Let him know that you are there to support him and that you understand this is a sensitive topic. Encourage him to express his emotions, fears, and frustrations without the fear of being judged. This can help alleviate some of the psychological stress associated with ED.

2. Reassurance:
Reassure him that erectile dysfunction is a common issue and that many men experience it at some point in their lives. Emphasize that it does not diminish his worth or your feelings for him. Let him know that you are committed to working through this together.

3. Encourage Professional Help:
While it may be challenging to convince him to seek medical help, gently encourage him to consider it. You might suggest that he sees a healthcare professional not just for ED but for overall health and well-being. Frame it as a way to improve his quality of life rather than focusing solely on the sexual aspect. You could also offer to accompany him to the appointment for moral support.

4. Explore Alternatives Together:
While waiting for him to seek professional help, explore other ways to maintain intimacy. This could include non-sexual forms of affection, such as cuddling, kissing, or simply spending quality time together. This can help reduce performance pressure and reinforce emotional closeness.

5. Educate Yourselves:
Consider researching erectile dysfunction together. Understanding the condition can help demystify it and reduce anxiety. There are many resources available, including books, articles, and reputable websites that provide information about ED, its causes, and treatment options.

6. Be Patient:
Recovery from erectile dysfunction can take time, especially if it is rooted in psychological factors. Be patient with him and with yourself. Celebrate small victories and progress, and avoid placing undue pressure on him to perform.

7. Consider Counseling:
If the emotional strain continues, consider couples counseling. A therapist can help both of you navigate this challenging time, improve communication, and address any underlying issues that may be contributing to the situation.

Conclusion:
Erectile dysfunction can be a complex issue, but with your support and understanding, your husband can take steps toward recovery. Encourage him to seek professional help, and be there for him as a loving partner. Remember, intimacy is not solely defined by sexual performance; it encompasses emotional connection, trust, and mutual support. By focusing on these aspects, you can strengthen your relationship and navigate this challenge together.

Wishing you both the best on this journey toward healing and intimacy.

Warm regards,
Doctor Q&A Teams

Similar Q&A

Understanding Erectile Dysfunction: A Guide for Couples Seeking Help

Hello Doctor: My husband has been experiencing erectile dysfunction for the past year, with a very short duration of erection that returns to its flaccid state before sexual intercourse, making it difficult for us to engage in sexual activity. He is 33 years old and previously ha...


Dr. Xu Weikai reply Urology
Hello, based on your description, I initially suspect that your husband may be experiencing erectile issues due to psychological stress. In daily life, the need to work late and overtime, along with a weight gain of 15 kilograms, could indicate that he is under significant pressu...

[Read More] Understanding Erectile Dysfunction: A Guide for Couples Seeking Help


Overcoming Erectile Dysfunction: A Guide for Diabetic Men

Hello Dr. Liu: My husband is 46 years old and has diabetes. He takes medication daily to control his blood sugar. Currently, our sexual life is very dysfunctional. The main issue is that my husband is unable to achieve an erection; even when he does, the hardness is insufficient....


Dr. Liu Jianting reply Urology
Even individuals with diabetes or hypertension can enjoy a fulfilling sexual life. Sexual intimacy between couples requires time for mutual understanding, learning, and encouragement; there are no naturally "expert" individuals. Of course, factors such as aging, physica...

[Read More] Overcoming Erectile Dysfunction: A Guide for Diabetic Men


Addressing Erectile Dysfunction: How to Approach Your Partner's Concerns

Hello, doctor. My boyfriend is 44 years old, and recently during intercourse, his penis has not been sufficiently erect. Even when I perform oral sex, it still doesn't become very hard, and he ejaculates quickly. We have intercourse about once a week, but I hardly feel anyth...


Dr. Xu Weikai reply Urology
Hello, in this situation, it is advisable to seek medical attention for further testing regarding sexual function. Additionally, consider whether your boyfriend does not exercise regularly, which could lead to insufficient cardiopulmonary function, consequently causing erectile i...

[Read More] Addressing Erectile Dysfunction: How to Approach Your Partner's Concerns


Overcoming Erectile Dysfunction: Navigating Desire and Relationship Challenges

I have recently been struggling with erectile dysfunction. I have known my wife for nearly 10 years, and we have been intimate for about 7 to 8 years. She is my only sexual partner. In the past, I could easily become aroused just by watching adult films or by touching my wife. Ho...


Dr. Zhou Xinpei reply Urology
The causes of erectile dysfunction include psychogenic, organic, and medication-induced factors. Psychogenic causes arise from psychological factors that prevent the central nervous system from stimulating an erection, which can stem from life stress, communication barriers betwe...

[Read More] Overcoming Erectile Dysfunction: Navigating Desire and Relationship Challenges


Related FAQ

Erectile Dysfunction

(Urology)

Erection

(Urology)

Sexual Function

(Urology)

Sildenafil

(Urology)

Sexual Climax

(Urology)

Morning Erection

(Urology)

Oral Sex

(Urology)

Stis

(Urology)

Masturbation

(Urology)

Epididymis

(Urology)