Am I Experiencing a Mental Health Crisis? My Feelings - Psychiatry

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Do I have a mental illness?


Hello, doctor: I have been feeling suicidal during my job search while transitioning to a new career.
After finding a job, those thoughts subsided, but recently, with the upcoming New Year and the cleaning that comes with it, I have been unable to tolerate the way others clean.
I often find myself yelling out loud when I'm alone...
Afterward, I feel like crying...
I feel like I’m going “crazy.” It’s especially frustrating because I’ve noticed some of my mother’s small habits (like picking her nose or using a dirty cloth without washing it) and I can’t stand it.
Am I too obsessed with cleanliness? I’ve been having a cold war with my mother lately, and our relationship doesn’t feel as close as it used to.
I no longer argue with her; instead, I keep my discomfort and dissatisfaction to myself and vent by writing in my diary.
Recently, I’ve been yelling out loud, and when my mother scolds me, if her words hurt me, I tend to remember them and dwell on them...
I keep thinking about them and end up crying.
I don’t know why this is happening.
Am I really sick? If so, what should I do?

ella, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2005/01/29

Dr. Lin Yanhong reply Psychiatry


Hello, based on your description, it seems that you have a lot of dissatisfaction and grievances, but you are unable to communicate effectively with your mother.
Perhaps you feel powerless to improve the relationship? Are you experiencing any mental health issues? I cannot assess your situation online, so I recommend that you visit a hospital or clinic to consult with a psychiatrist or a mental health professional.
They can help you understand your issues in detail and provide some assistance.
Dr.
Lin

Reply Date: 2005/01/29

More Info


It sounds like you're going through a very challenging time, and it's understandable to feel overwhelmed by your emotions and experiences. From what you've described, it seems that you are experiencing a range of intense feelings, including frustration, sadness, and possibly anger, which can be quite distressing. Let's break down some of what you might be experiencing and how to approach it.

Firstly, the feelings of wanting to harm yourself or thoughts of suicide are serious and should not be taken lightly. It's crucial to seek professional help if you have these thoughts, even if they seem to come and go. Mental health professionals can provide support, guidance, and treatment options that can help you navigate through these feelings. It's important to remember that you are not alone in this; many people experience similar feelings, and there is help available.

Your frustration with your surroundings, particularly with your mother's cleaning habits, may indicate a heightened sensitivity to your environment, which can sometimes be linked to anxiety or obsessive-compulsive tendencies. It’s not uncommon for individuals who are feeling stressed or overwhelmed to become more irritable or critical of others, especially those close to them. This can lead to conflicts, as you've noted with your mother, and it may be helpful to communicate your feelings to her in a calm and constructive manner when you feel ready.

Keeping a journal, as you mentioned, is a great way to express your feelings and process your thoughts. Writing can serve as a therapeutic outlet and help you gain clarity about your emotions. However, if you find that your feelings of sadness or anger are becoming overwhelming or leading to self-harm, it’s essential to reach out for professional support. A therapist can help you explore these feelings in a safe environment and develop coping strategies.

You also mentioned feeling like you might be "crazy" for your reactions. It's important to understand that experiencing intense emotions does not mean you are "crazy" or unwell. Emotions are a natural part of being human, and everyone has moments when they feel out of control. What matters is how you manage those feelings and seek help when needed.

In terms of your relationship with your mother, it might be beneficial to have an open conversation about how you’re feeling. Expressing your feelings without blame can help rebuild your connection. For instance, you could share that you’ve been feeling overwhelmed and that her actions sometimes trigger those feelings. This approach can foster understanding and may help improve your relationship.

Lastly, if you are considering whether you might be experiencing a mental health crisis, it's a good idea to consult with a mental health professional. They can provide a proper assessment and help you understand what you are going through. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Mental health issues are common, and addressing them early can lead to better outcomes.

In summary, it’s crucial to take your feelings seriously and seek help if you are struggling. Utilize journaling as a tool for expression, communicate openly with your loved ones, and consider professional support to help you navigate this challenging time. You deserve to feel better and to have the support you need.

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