Managing Depression: The Pressure to Heal and the Struggle to Share

Everyone is getting impatient?

Doctor: I have been suffering from depression for almost 8 months now, and I’ve realized that the pressure has become overwhelming! Everyone expects me to get better quickly, including myself.
I don’t want to disappoint anyone, so I often suppress my emotions.
In the end, when I share my feelings of sadness with others, they always say that I am overcomplicating simple issues and thinking too much, which they believe is harmful rather than helpful.
People don’t seem to want to hear me talk about these things; they always tell me that I am overthinking and complicating matters.
I also fear that they will think I am terrible and be disappointed in me.
I feel the need to appear perfectly fine.
In reality, I often cry alone, and the only person I can confide in is my doctor.
However, due to limited outpatient hours, I can’t visit frequently (because my family believes there’s no need to go back if nothing seems wrong).
Usually, I can’t discuss much during my visits.
The doctors I see are wonderful; they don’t just tell me I’m overthinking and acknowledge what I say.
But because the doctors are so supportive, I now only share my feelings with them and can’t talk to anyone else.
Unfortunately, I can’t go to the hospital often, so I often have to accumulate my thoughts and feelings until my next appointment to share everything with my doctor.
However, it’s always so difficult to suppress everything until the next visit.
I feel a lot of pressure every time I go back because my family hopes I will go to the hospital less.
Choosing to go to a psychiatric department was my own decision.
So this journey of treatment has been really tough.
My family thinks that when I say I have to go back for a visit, something serious must have happened again.

mimi, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2005/02/15

Dr. Ke Shengying reply Psychiatry

Dear Mimi,
I am glad that you trust this space and have raised several questions.
Life is unique for everyone; some people are lively and cheerful, while others are sensitive and easily moved, which can also lead to feelings of sadness.
Gradually learning to appreciate oneself and living each day earnestly will help those around you to appreciate the true you as well.
"Friends are the family we choose for ourselves." In addition to your physician, if you are fortunate enough to find friends who accept each other and share common interests, that is also a form of happiness!
The Tainan Hospital of the Department of Health wishes you good health and all the best!

Reply Date: 2005/02/15

More Info

Managing depression can be an incredibly challenging journey, especially when compounded by the pressures of societal expectations and personal relationships. Your experience reflects a common struggle faced by many individuals dealing with mental health issues: the pressure to heal quickly and the fear of disappointing those around you.
Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that depression is a complex mental health condition that often requires time, patience, and professional support to manage effectively. The feelings of sadness, isolation, and the urge to suppress your emotions are not uncommon among those suffering from depression. It’s crucial to understand that healing is not a linear process; there will be ups and downs, and it’s perfectly okay to have days where you feel overwhelmed.

The pressure you feel from others to "get better" can exacerbate your symptoms. It’s not unusual for friends and family to want to help, but their well-meaning advice can sometimes feel dismissive or invalidating. When they suggest that you are "overcomplicating" your feelings, it can lead to a sense of isolation, making you feel as though you cannot share your true emotions with them. This is a significant barrier to recovery, as expressing your feelings is an essential part of the healing process.
It’s commendable that you have found a safe space with your doctor to express your feelings. Therapeutic relationships are vital for individuals dealing with mental health issues, as they provide a non-judgmental environment where you can explore your thoughts and emotions freely. However, the limitations of appointment frequency can create a backlog of feelings that may become overwhelming by the time you do have a session.
To address this, consider implementing some strategies to manage your emotions between appointments. Journaling can be a powerful tool for self-expression. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process them and may also provide you with insights that you can share during your next appointment. Additionally, mindfulness practices such as meditation or deep-breathing exercises can help you stay grounded and manage anxiety in the moment.

It might also be beneficial to explore support groups, either in-person or online, where you can connect with others who are experiencing similar challenges. These groups can provide a sense of community and understanding that may be lacking in your current social circles. Sharing your experiences with others who truly understand can alleviate some of the feelings of isolation and pressure.

If you feel comfortable, consider discussing your feelings with your family. They may not fully understand the complexities of depression, but sharing your experience could help them provide better support. You might explain that your visits to the doctor are not just about "having a problem" but are part of an ongoing process of managing your mental health.

Lastly, if you find that your current treatment plan is not meeting your needs, don’t hesitate to discuss this with your doctor. They may be able to adjust your treatment or refer you to additional resources, such as therapy or support services, that can provide more frequent assistance.

In summary, managing depression is a multifaceted process that requires both professional support and personal strategies. It’s essential to find ways to express your feelings, connect with others, and communicate your needs to those around you. Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to seek help and support along the way. You are not alone in this journey, and there are people and resources available to help you navigate through it.

Similar Q&A

Overcoming Low Stress Tolerance: A Journey Through Depression and Recovery

I am a patient with emotional-type depression, and my interpersonal relationships are not very good. Since I became ill in 1991, my work has been intermittent; I only had stable employment from 1993 to 1996, while other jobs were short-term. I struggle to manage my emotions, havi...

Dr. Chen Wenke reply Psychiatry
Hello Michelle, it seems that your situation is a common issue among many individuals with mental health disorders. Generally, when people hear the term "mental illness," they tend to view it with a sense of stigma, both domestically and internationally, though it may b...

Overcoming Depression: My Journey to Emotional Resilience and Trust

I have previously harmed myself and was diagnosed with depression. I know that I am not good at handling negative emotions; when they arise, my feelings spiral out of control. This past month, I allowed myself to rest at home and, without pressure, stopped taking my medication. I...

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello: Seeking medical care is for the purpose of getting better. To achieve this outcome, it is recommended to trust your physician and to fully cooperate and communicate with them, which will lead to better treatment results. Wishing you well.

Understanding Relapses in Depression and Anxiety: A Personal Journey

A few months ago, I started experiencing emotional decline due to interpersonal and family issues, as well as academic problems, which led to self-harm. I sought help from a mental health specialist and was diagnosed with depression. Consequently, I decided to transfer schools, m...

Dr. Yan Congyou reply Psychiatry
Dear Lili, Based on your description, it appears to be a complex situation that requires a definitive diagnosis and a discussion of treatment options such as medication, psychotherapy, or family therapy. I would recommend that you establish a regular and stable follow-up with a ...

Struggling with Loss: Coping with Grief and Mental Health Challenges

After breaking up with my partner last year, my life has been full of difficulties. First, my grandfather passed away, then my grandmother, and finally, my father. Since my father's death, I haven't been able to work properly; I haven't had a job for almost six mon...

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello: After a series of setbacks, it's natural to feel down and sad, and one's willpower and thoughts may lean towards pessimism. However, this state is not permanent; by taking some positive actions, it is possible to gradually escape this depressive black hole. Most ...