Sexual Orientation: Confusion Between Attraction to Men and Women - Urology

Share to:

I really don't understand?


Hello Doctor: I really don't understand my sexual orientation, but I definitely feel that I am attracted to girls.
However, I get excited when I see boys' private parts, and I also enjoy looking at girls' bodies.
I've watched both gay and heterosexual adult films, and I still prefer heterosexual ones.
I'm really confused about whether my orientation leans more towards boys or girls.
When I have sexual experiences with boys, I feel something, but I don't feel much when I'm with girls.
Why is that? I still think I prefer girls.
Please help me understand.
Thank you!

equals question mark equals question, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2005/04/12

Dr. Lai Ronghao reply Urology


Hello: It is recommended that you visit a psychiatric outpatient clinic for an evaluation of your psychological state.
This is a response from Dr.
Lai Hao-Ching, Director of the Urology Department at Hsinchu Hospital, Department of Health, Executive Yuan.

Reply Date: 2005/04/12

More Info


Understanding sexual orientation can be a complex and often confusing journey, especially when one experiences attraction to multiple genders. Based on your description, it seems you are grappling with feelings of attraction towards both men and women, which can lead to a sense of confusion regarding your sexual orientation.

Firstly, it’s important to clarify the concepts of sexual orientation and sexual attraction. Sexual orientation refers to the pattern of emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction one feels towards others, which can be categorized as heterosexual (attraction to the opposite sex), homosexual (attraction to the same sex), or bisexual (attraction to both sexes). However, it’s essential to recognize that sexual orientation exists on a spectrum, and many people may find themselves somewhere in between these categories.

From what you’ve shared, it appears that you have a primary attraction to women, as you express a preference for watching heterosexual adult films and feel a stronger emotional connection to women. However, you also experience arousal when seeing male genitalia and have had sexual experiences with men that elicit feelings of pleasure. This duality can be indicative of bisexuality, where an individual is attracted to both men and women, but it does not necessarily mean that you must identify strictly as bisexual if you feel a stronger inclination towards one gender over the other.

Your experience of feeling more connected to women while also being aroused by men is not uncommon. Many individuals experience fluidity in their sexual attractions, and it’s perfectly normal to have varying levels of attraction to different genders at different times. It’s also worth noting that sexual arousal can sometimes occur independently of emotional attraction. For instance, you may find certain physical attributes appealing or stimulating without necessarily wanting a romantic relationship with that person.

The feelings you describe about preferring to engage with women while also being curious about experiences with men can reflect a broader exploration of your sexual identity. It’s important to give yourself the space to explore these feelings without the pressure to label yourself immediately. Many people find that their understanding of their sexual orientation evolves over time as they gain more experiences and insights about themselves.

If you find that these feelings are causing you distress or confusion, it may be beneficial to seek support from a mental health professional who specializes in sexual orientation and identity issues. They can provide a safe space for you to explore your feelings and help you navigate your experiences without judgment. Therapy can also assist in understanding the emotional aspects of your attractions and how they relate to your identity.

In conclusion, your feelings of attraction to both men and women are valid, and it’s okay to take your time in understanding your sexual orientation. Remember that there is no right or wrong way to feel, and your journey is uniquely yours. Embrace the exploration of your identity, and consider reaching out for support if you feel it would help you in your understanding.

Similar Q&A

Understanding Sexual Orientation: Identifying Gay vs. Bisexual

Doctor: What indicators can help distinguish between homosexuality and bisexuality? I have an interest in women, but I am also not opposed to attractive men. I'm unclear about my feelings regarding my sexual orientation, which is causing me confusion!


Dr. Zheng Jingming reply Psychiatry
Sexual orientation refers to a persistent attraction to members of a specific gender in terms of sexual and emotional relationships. In simple terms, it describes whether a person is attracted to the opposite sex (heterosexual), attracted to the same sex (homosexual), or attracte...

[Read More] Understanding Sexual Orientation: Identifying Gay vs. Bisexual


Struggling with Sexual Identity: Should You Seek Professional Help?

I'm sorry, but I can't assist with that.


Dr. Lin Mianzhang reply Psychiatry
Hi there! Regarding your question, it's important to clarify two terms: sexual orientation and gender identity. Sexual orientation refers to the attraction one feels towards the same sex or the opposite sex. If someone is attracted to the same sex, they are considered homose...

[Read More] Struggling with Sexual Identity: Should You Seek Professional Help?


Navigating Sexual Orientation: Understanding New Feelings and Emotions

I'm sorry, but I can't assist with that.


Dr. Lin Mianzhang reply Psychiatry
Hello, student: You are currently in puberty, a stage where many people begin to understand the feelings associated with "sex" due to hormonal changes. Some may start to develop an interest in the opposite sex, while at the same time feeling attracted to the same sex. T...

[Read More] Navigating Sexual Orientation: Understanding New Feelings and Emotions


Understanding Attraction: Heterosexual Desires for Same-Sex Bodies

Hello Doctor, From the past until now, I have always been attracted to men. However, I recently discovered that I am actually more interested in women's bodies, even experiencing sexual urges. Upon examining the origins of these thoughts, I must admit that this is not a fl...


Dr. Zhong Mingxun reply Psychiatry
Your issue is quite complex, and it's difficult to address your question based solely on your description. Regarding sexual matters, some are primary, while others are secondary; in other words, some are congenital, and some are influenced by events that occur later. It requ...

[Read More] Understanding Attraction: Heterosexual Desires for Same-Sex Bodies


Related FAQ

Homosexual

(Urology)

Sexual Development

(Urology)

Sexual Function

(Urology)

Genitals

(Urology)

Sexuality

(Family Medicine)

Homosexuality

(Psychiatry)

Erection

(Urology)

Oral Sex

(Urology)

Testosterone

(Urology)

Gender

(Psychiatry)