Navigating the Challenges of Bipolar Disorder: A Wife's Plea for Help

Request for assistance?

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
It sounds incredibly challenging.
Here’s the translation of your content:
Dr.
Wang, I apologize for reaching out to you, but I hope you can assist me as much as possible.
Thank you: (My husband is a bipolar disorder patient).
The situation is as follows: Over two years ago, my husband had an affair and lived with a third party for a year.
Until the end of October 2003, my husband had a severe conflict with the third party, was injured by them, suffered serious head injuries, and also had severe hemorrhoids and an anal fistula, which led him to suddenly return to our family.
My child and I, of course, welcomed him back without hesitation.
Since my husband left home, I have taken on all the financial responsibilities of the family, working during the day and taking on a cleaning job at night, working tirelessly day and night.
Therefore, when my husband returned home, I did not have enough time to communicate with him properly or to pay attention to his behavior.
In fact, the day after he returned home, I noticed he couldn't sleep and was talking to himself.
By the third day, he began running up and down the stairs, and my son followed him upstairs to see what he was doing.
To our surprise, my husband was on the rooftop, pointing at the sky and worshiping it.
Then he ran inside to monitor the surveillance cameras and worship the television, repeating this behavior every day until the fifth day when he suddenly broke down the door and ran outside, threatening to bite people.
Fortunately, the man he tried to bite was understanding, so we let it go.
On the sixth day, he climbed out of the window onto a sign.
My son and I were so exhausted by his behavior that we had no choice but to call an ambulance to take him to your hospital for emergency treatment.
When he woke up, he only knew how to resent us for sending him to a psychiatric hospital without reason.
As for me, the pressure was immense; after work, I rushed to the hospital to accompany him during treatment.
I endured his insults every day, hoping that he would get better.
No matter how difficult it was for me, I could tolerate it as long as he could be treated.
After half a month, I could no longer bear his lack of freedom in the hospital.
My husband constantly begged me to take him home.
I discussed with the attending physician, and we could only arrange for him to take a leave of absence for a few hours to rest at home.
However, within a few days, he took advantage of my work hours to run away, and after a few days of searching for him, the hospital notified me to process his voluntary discharge.
I kept trying to find my husband, putting in all my effort to help him understand that we were trying to assist him.
Fortunately, God heard my prayers, and he finally returned home.
I also took him for surgery to treat his hemorrhoids and anal fistula.
However, good times did not last long; once my husband was slightly stable and had more freedom of movement, my son and I began to live under immense pressure, with our moods fluctuating with my husband's.
Little did we know that the third party seemed to have a vengeful mindset, constantly interfering between us and continuing to harass my husband, which led to a second episode of his illness.
This time, he even bit our son in several places in a frenzy, prompting me to send him back to your hospital for treatment.
I genuinely wanted him to stay in the hospital for proper care, but the next day, Dr.
Zhang Xun Cheng believed he could return home for self-treatment, so I helped him discharge again.
My work is already very busy, and on top of that, I have to take special care of my husband's condition.
I have to stay strong and keep going.
I have been doing my best to assist my husband, but why can't he understand how much love and concern my son and I have for him? My husband often sees us as the bad guys, and he only takes his medication when I force him, but even then, he doesn't take it daily, so what good does it do? Instead, being forced only seems to stimulate him more, making his mood unstable.
I have been hesitant to seek help from his attending physician, so I have just let things be.
As a result, on April 12, my husband unexpectedly left without notice, took all the money, and flew to unfamiliar China.
I had no idea until noon on the 12th when I discovered his passport was missing, and his health insurance card and other documents were left at home.
I have completely lost contact with him and have had no news since then.
I feel so helpless...
I am on the verge of breaking down.
I don't know who to turn to for help or how to handle everything.
I still have a child to raise, and I have financial responsibilities to bear.
The police won't help, and my family is afraid to intervene for safety reasons.
And what about me? I constantly worry about what will happen if his condition relapses while he is in China.
I don't dare to seek help from his attending physician.
I only know that Dr.
Wang, your medical skills are excellent, which is why I have taken the liberty to seek help online.
If my husband does come home again, can I forcibly take him for medical treatment?

Chengshoubuliao de jiashu, 40~49 year old female. Ask Date: 2005/04/17

Dr. Wang Chongren reply Psychiatry

Dear Dr.
Wang Chong-Jen of the Psychiatric Department at Tainan Hospital, Executive Yuan Health Department:
According to the Mental Health Act, if a patient exhibits bizarre thoughts or unusual behaviors that prevent them from managing their affairs or pose a risk of self-harm or harm to others, and if there are tendencies or actions of self-harm or harm to others, the guardian (spouse) should assist the patient in seeking medical attention (which requires a full-day assessment by a specialist) and hospitalization.
If the patient refuses, involuntary hospitalization should be pursued.
From your correspondence, it appears you have made every effort to care for your husband during his episodes.
Your primary focus should now be on maintaining your own mental and physical health as well as that of your child.
If necessary, seek medical attention to stabilize your emotions.
Should your husband return home and exhibit the aforementioned "severe patient" conditions, particularly any tendencies or actions of self-harm or harm to others (as seen during his previous episodes), you may contact emergency services at 119 or your local police department for assistance in obtaining medical care.
If his condition does not involve self-harm or harm to others but significantly impacts the family or community, you can also reach out to the health bureau for support.
The contact person at the city health bureau is Mr.
Chen Zheng-Sheng, TEL: 06-2608365, who will be happy to assist you.
Wishing you good health and all the best from Tainan Hospital!

Reply Date: 2005/04/17

More Info

Navigating the complexities of bipolar disorder, especially when it affects a loved one, can be incredibly challenging. Your situation is particularly difficult, as it involves not only your husband's mental health but also the emotional and financial strain it places on you and your family. Here are some insights and suggestions that may help you in this trying time.

Understanding Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar disorder is characterized by extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression). During manic episodes, individuals may exhibit behaviors such as increased energy, reduced need for sleep, and impulsive actions, which can lead to risky situations. Conversely, depressive episodes can lead to feelings of hopelessness, fatigue, and a lack of interest in activities. Your husband's recent behaviors, including self-harm and erratic actions, suggest he may be experiencing a manic episode, which can be exacerbated by stressors such as past trauma or relationship issues.

Encouraging Treatment
1. Open Communication: It's crucial to maintain open lines of communication with your husband. While he may perceive you and your child as adversaries, expressing your concern and love can help him understand that you are on his side. Use "I" statements to express how his actions affect you and your child, rather than placing blame.

2. Involve Professionals: If your husband is resistant to treatment, consider involving a mental health professional who can communicate with him in a way that resonates. Sometimes, hearing advice from a neutral party can be more effective than from family members.

3. Medication Compliance: Medication is often a cornerstone of managing bipolar disorder. If he is reluctant to take his medication, discuss the importance of consistency with a healthcare provider, who can explain the potential consequences of non-compliance. Sometimes, adjusting the medication or finding a different regimen can help alleviate side effects that may be causing reluctance.

4. Crisis Plan: Given the history of impulsive behavior, it’s essential to have a crisis plan in place. This plan should include emergency contacts, a list of medications, and a clear outline of what to do if he exhibits dangerous behavior again. This can provide a sense of security for both you and your husband.

Managing Your Well-being
1. Self-Care: Caring for someone with bipolar disorder can be draining. Make sure to prioritize your own mental health. Engage in activities that bring you joy, seek support from friends or support groups, and consider speaking with a therapist yourself.

2. Financial Management: Given the financial burden you are under, it may be beneficial to consult with a financial advisor or social worker who can help you navigate resources available for families dealing with mental health issues.

3. Legal Considerations: If your husband poses a danger to himself or others, you may have the option to seek involuntary treatment, depending on the laws in your area. Consult with a legal professional who specializes in mental health law to understand your options.

Preparing for His Return
If your husband returns home, it’s essential to create a supportive environment that encourages treatment adherence. Establish a routine that includes regular check-ins about his mental health, medication schedules, and therapy appointments. Encourage him to engage in healthy activities, such as exercise and hobbies, which can help stabilize mood.

Conclusion
Your situation is undoubtedly complex and fraught with emotional turmoil. Remember that you are not alone in this journey. There are resources available, including mental health professionals, support groups, and legal advisors, who can help you navigate this challenging time. By focusing on communication, treatment adherence, and self-care, you can create a more stable environment for both your husband and your family.

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