Am I Suffering from Depression? Signs and When to Seek Help

Are you suffering from depression?

I experienced a trauma six months ago that I had never encountered in thirty years (my husband sought companionship in China due to boredom).
I remember all the details clearly.
Initially, I cried uncontrollably and engaged in excessive shopping, but I also had rational discussions with my husband.
Later, my husband seemed to have woken up and returned, and it appears that that period was as if it never happened for him.
However, I occasionally think about it and tell myself to stop.
Recently, over the past week, I have been crying frequently, especially when I am alone and my mind starts to wander.
I find myself cleaning the house continuously, even though my body feels exhausted, I can't help but keep cleaning.
At night, when I accompany my child to sleep, I feel very tired but cannot fall asleep at all.
I involuntarily recall the pain I experienced and our conversations.
My hands seem to be in constant motion.
When I have nothing to do, I tend to pick at my skin due to long-term eczema and recurring dry patches.
My platelet count is below 100,000, and my white blood cell count is also low.
Sometimes, when I look at my wrist, I think that if I wanted to commit suicide, it would be easy.
I also feel that my lifespan may not be long.
I wish I could just pass away so that I wouldn't have to think about anything anymore.
Am I suffering from depression, and should I seek medical treatment?

Fanrao de ren, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2005/09/11

Dr. Wang Chongren reply Psychiatry

Dear Dr.
Wang Chong-Ren of the Tainan Hospital, Department of Health, Executive Yuan:
You mentioned that you have been experiencing frequent crying, insomnia, fatigue, and negative thoughts, including suicidal ideation, for over a week.
It is indeed important to seek an evaluation from a psychiatrist as soon as possible.
The earlier the treatment begins, the sooner you may see improvement.
I hope you can seek medical attention soon to open up and restore your health.

The Tainan Hospital wishes you good health and all the best!

Reply Date: 2005/09/11

More Info

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly difficult time, and I want to acknowledge the pain and confusion you are experiencing. Based on your description, it does seem that you may be exhibiting signs of depression, particularly given the emotional turmoil you've faced over the past six months. Depression can manifest in various ways, and it often follows significant life events or trauma, such as the distressing situation you described involving your husband.

Signs of Depression
1. Persistent Sadness: You mentioned that you have been crying frequently, especially when you are alone. This is a common symptom of depression, where feelings of sadness can become overwhelming and persistent.

2. Loss of Interest: While you are engaging in activities like cleaning, it seems to be more of a compulsive behavior rather than something you enjoy. A loss of interest in activities that once brought you joy is a hallmark of depression.

3. Sleep Disturbances: You noted that you are physically exhausted but unable to sleep. Sleep issues, whether it's insomnia or oversleeping, are often associated with depression.

4. Physical Symptoms: You mentioned compulsively picking at your skin and having a history of eczema. Physical manifestations of emotional distress are common in depression, as the mind and body are closely connected.

5. Thoughts of Self-Harm: The thoughts you expressed about self-harm and wishing for your life to end are serious and concerning. These thoughts indicate that you are in a state of emotional crisis and require immediate support.

When to Seek Help
Given the symptoms you are experiencing, it is crucial to seek professional help. Here are some steps you can take:
1. Consult a Mental Health Professional: A psychologist or psychiatrist can provide a proper assessment and diagnosis. They can help you understand whether you are experiencing clinical depression or another mental health condition.

2. Therapy: Engaging in therapy can be incredibly beneficial. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for depression, as it helps you identify and change negative thought patterns.

3. Medication: If diagnosed with depression, medication such as antidepressants may be recommended. These can help balance chemicals in your brain that affect mood.

4. Support Systems: Reach out to trusted friends or family members. Sharing your feelings can alleviate some of the burdens you are carrying. Support groups, either in-person or online, can also provide a sense of community and understanding.

5. Emergency Help: If you ever feel that you might act on thoughts of self-harm or suicide, it is vital to seek immediate help. Call emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area.

Conclusion
You are not alone in this struggle, and there is help available. It’s important to take your feelings seriously and to reach out for support. The journey to recovery may take time, but with the right help, you can find a way to heal and regain a sense of peace and purpose in your life. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Your life is valuable, and there are people and resources that can support you through this challenging time.

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