Urological Concerns: A Guide for Young Men - Urology

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My question?


I'm 23 years old and I still haven't had any sexual experiences with women.
Every time my peers discuss their girlfriends, I find myself at a loss for words.
They say I'm the last virgin of the 21st century, which is really embarrassing.
I don't know if there's something wrong with me physically or psychologically.
I even wondered if I might be gay.
On my 22nd birthday, a girl danced naked on me, and I didn't react at all.
What should I do?
Also, regarding the size of my penis and the angle of erection: my penis is larger than my roommate's, but it only points horizontally when erect, and sometimes it doesn't even reach that.
My roommate's is not only larger but also points vertically.
They all laugh at me, calling me a fool.

I have a close friend who is quite muscular, but he has a significant issue: his penis is very small, measuring only 2 cm when not erect, but 10 cm when erect.
He has a girlfriend and has had sexual relations, but he's worried about his upcoming military physical examination.
He's afraid this secret will be discovered because he heard that they have to take off their pants for inspection.
Will someone like him be judged for having a small penis during the examination? His penis is only small when not erect, but he can still ejaculate.
Thank you.

Rui Feng, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/03/07

Dr. Xu Weikai reply Urology


Ruifeng: Hello, whether or not one is a comrade requires a special psychological assessment; it cannot be determined solely based on your situation.
Regarding penis size, a scholar in Taiwan has conducted a large-scale study, and the conclusions can be found here: http://www.edact.org.tw/issue/issue_info.asp?issue_id=5.
Whether it will be deemed too small will undergo professional evaluation.
This is a response from Dr.
Hsu Wei-kai, Director of the Urology Department, Taitung Hospital, Department of Health, Executive Yuan, who is concerned about your situation.

Reply Date: 2006/03/07

More Info


It's completely normal to have concerns about sexual health and development, especially during your early twenties. Many young men experience anxiety regarding their sexual experiences, body image, and sexual orientation. Let's break down your concerns and provide some guidance.

Firstly, it's important to understand that sexual development varies widely among individuals. While some may have had sexual experiences by your age, others may not, and that's perfectly okay. The pressure from peers can be overwhelming, but it's crucial to remember that everyone's journey is different. There is no "normal" timeline for sexual experiences, and feeling left out in conversations about relationships is a common experience for many young men.

Regarding your feelings of uncertainty about your sexual orientation, it's entirely valid to question your attractions and feelings. The experience you described, where you did not react to a woman dancing on you, could be indicative of various factors, including anxiety, lack of attraction, or simply being unprepared for the situation. It's essential to explore these feelings at your own pace. If you find that you are consistently attracted to men or have a strong emotional connection with them, it may be worth considering that you could be part of the LGBTQ+ community. Seeking support from LGBTQ+ groups or counseling can provide a safe space to explore these feelings further.

As for your concerns about penis size and erection angle, it's important to note that there is a wide range of what is considered "normal." Studies have shown that penis size varies significantly among men, and many factors can influence erection angle, including anatomy and muscle tone. The fact that your friends may joke about this can be hurtful, but remember that humor often stems from insecurity. It's also worth noting that sexual satisfaction is not solely determined by size; emotional connection, communication, and technique play significant roles in sexual relationships.

Regarding your friend's concern about his penis size and the military examination, it's essential to understand that medical professionals are trained to handle such situations with discretion and professionalism. The military typically has guidelines regarding medical fitness, but individual cases are assessed holistically. If your friend is concerned about being judged based on size, he should focus on his overall health and well-being rather than solely on his anatomy.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by these issues, consider speaking with a healthcare professional or a counselor who specializes in sexual health. They can provide personalized advice and support, helping you navigate your feelings and concerns in a safe and confidential environment. Additionally, resources such as sexual health clinics or LGBTQ+ support organizations can offer valuable information and community support.

In summary, it's essential to approach your concerns with self-compassion and patience. Sexual health and identity are complex topics, and it's okay to take your time to understand yourself better. Remember, you are not alone in these feelings, and there are resources available to help you navigate this journey.

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