Is the method of masturbation incorrect? Does it lead to an inability to ejaculate?
I masturbate by pressing my palms together around my penis and rubbing it against the inner thigh.
I've been doing this since elementary school, and now that I'm in college, I average about twice a day.
However, when I have sex with my girlfriend, I just can't ejaculate no matter what.
Is my method of masturbation incorrect? Is there any way I can try to experience the pleasure of ejaculation? I've heard from friends that it might be an issue with the sensitivity of the glans...
danxin, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/07/29
Dr. Xu Weikai reply Urology
Concern: Hello, the stimulation from masturbation is generally more intense, while actual sexual intercourse involves experience, technique, and varies from person to person in terms of stimulation.
Note: There is no right or wrong way to masturbate; almost everyone's approach is different.
Response from Dr.
Hsu Wei-Kai, Director of Urology, Taitung Hospital, Department of Health, Executive Yuan.
Reply Date: 2006/07/29
More Info
When it comes to the relationship between masturbation techniques and ejaculation, it's important to consider several factors that could influence sexual performance and satisfaction. Your description of your masturbation technique—using your palm to stroke the penis while pressing it against your inner thigh—suggests a specific method that may not translate well to partnered sexual experiences. Here are some insights into how your technique might be affecting your ability to ejaculate during intercourse, along with some potential solutions.
Understanding the Impact of Technique
1. Desensitization: Regularly using a specific technique can lead to a form of desensitization. If your masturbation method applies pressure or stimulation in a way that is different from how your partner stimulates you, it may make it harder for you to reach orgasm during intercourse. The brain often associates orgasm with specific sensations, and if those sensations are not replicated during sex, it can lead to difficulty in achieving ejaculation.
2. Psychological Factors: Anxiety or performance pressure during sexual encounters can also play a significant role. If you are worried about not being able to ejaculate, this anxiety can create a mental block that prevents you from reaching orgasm. This is sometimes referred to as "performance anxiety," and it can be exacerbated by past experiences or fears of inadequacy.
3. Sensitivity of the Glands: The sensitivity of the glans (the head of the penis) can vary from person to person. If your masturbation technique does not adequately stimulate the glans, it may lead to a lower sensitivity during intercourse. This could be a reason why you find it difficult to ejaculate with your partner.
Recommendations for Improvement
1. Experiment with Different Techniques: Consider varying your masturbation technique to include more stimulation of the glans and other sensitive areas. You might try using different grips, speeds, or motions to see if this enhances your sensitivity and ability to ejaculate.
2. Incorporate Foreplay: Engaging in more foreplay with your partner can help increase arousal and make it easier to reach orgasm. This can include kissing, touching, or oral sex, which may help you feel more relaxed and connected, potentially leading to a more satisfying sexual experience.
3. Focus on Relaxation: Try to reduce anxiety by focusing on relaxation techniques before and during sexual activity. Deep breathing, mindfulness, or even discussing your feelings with your partner can help alleviate performance pressure.
4. Communicate with Your Partner: Open communication with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t can enhance your sexual experience. Let your partner know what techniques or types of stimulation you enjoy, and encourage them to explore different methods with you.
5. Consult a Professional: If you continue to experience difficulties, it may be beneficial to consult a healthcare professional or a sex therapist. They can provide personalized advice and strategies tailored to your specific situation.
Conclusion
In summary, your masturbation technique may indeed be influencing your ability to ejaculate during intercourse, but it is likely not the sole factor. A combination of physical sensitivity, psychological factors, and the dynamics of partnered sex all play a role. By experimenting with different techniques, enhancing communication with your partner, and focusing on relaxation, you may find a path to improved sexual satisfaction. If challenges persist, seeking professional guidance can provide additional support and solutions.
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