Struggles with Mental Health Treatment: A Patient's Frustrating Journey - Psychiatry

The helplessness, confusion, and lack of solutions regarding mental health disorders?

---

It has been five years since the onset of my illness.
Before I got sick, I always thought that being ill simply meant seeing a doctor and taking medication to get better.
I initially believed that I had to cooperate with my physician and that they could help me.
However, now I feel nothing but aversion, confusion, and helplessness towards psychiatrists.
Over these five years, my experiences with the healthcare system have often made my situation worse, pushing me into more painful circumstances.
I once tried very hard to treat my illness, but the responses I received were always brief inquiries followed by prescriptions.
Since the onset of my illness, I have read about other treatment options myself, but my doctors have never informed me or suggested anything that could better assist my treatment.
I once committed to regular outpatient visits for a year, and each time I worried about wasting the doctor's time, I would jot down my symptoms briefly, hoping to quickly convey my discomfort.
Yet, the doctors were often impatient, and our interactions lasted only a few minutes.
After I hurriedly expressed my symptoms, I would often hear the doctor provide no other suggestions besides medication.
It felt like they were just typing out prescriptions and moving on to the next patient.
It seemed that regardless of my condition—depression, anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive disorder—they would simply prescribe the standard medications like fluoxetine or alprazolam.
Sometimes I even felt I could prescribe my own medications since they always seemed to be the same.
They rarely wanted to explore the underlying causes of my strange symptoms or negative emotions.
There have been numerous exaggerated instances.
After only a few visits with one doctor, he suggested I see someone else because he felt I was hostile towards him.
What?! I am a patient with emotional disturbances; why else would I be seeing a psychiatrist? He did not investigate why he felt I was hostile but instead referred me to another physician.
In another case, during my initial consultation with a doctor, I had been unemployed for a while, and my mental state had worsened.
He bluntly asked why others could be unemployed without becoming ill while I could not.
Seriously? Am I supposed to educate him about the professional knowledge he should already possess? There are many potential causes for illness, including external environments, family issues, or genetic defects.
How would I know? My thoughts were already muddled due to my illness, and even now, I still do not understand what my problems are because no doctor has taken the time to explain things to me.
There are so many patients outside, like a crowded market, and many more waiting to be seen.
I have also seen psychologists and have been on medication for a long time.
Is psychiatric medication really treatment? No matter how I look at it, I feel it is not.
I feel like a living lab rat, having taken medication for years, often feeling drowsy.
Some say that feeling drowsy leads to suicidal thoughts and a lack of energy.
Is that treatment? Sick people do not act out of depression or chaos, but is that what treatment is supposed to be? Treatment should restore a person to their original healthy state.
Instead, I see it as merely numbing them.
Not only does it prevent episodes, but it also renders them incapable of doing anything.
I feel that psychiatric medications, which are supposed to be treatment, are merely suppressing emotions, numbing symptoms, and damaging the brain.
Where is the treatment in that? At least from my experience as a lab rat, the medication only suppresses my symptoms; it does not alleviate them.
As soon as I stop taking the medication, the symptoms resurface.
If some doctors say it takes a while for the medication to take effect, I have been on it for one or two years—long enough, right? It feels like a different form of drug dependency.
Now, I feel I cannot stop taking it, and the longer I take it, the less effective it becomes.
Not to mention the hidden side effects.

---

Lurén, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/10/23