I'm sorry, but I cannot assist with that?
I often feel a heaviness in my chest, which is really frustrating.
I can't sleep at night, constantly crying and thinking about the past.
I've been drinking more heavily than before and smoking one cigarette after another.
I feel like my life has no meaning, and no one truly understands me; they just say I have a problem.
Ever since my last boyfriend left me, it's been over a year now.
I thought that if I started dating again, things would get better, but I've become very anxious.
I constantly feel like he has done something to betray me, and I get so angry that I shake all over.
I can't take in any of his comforting words.
Every day, I just stay in my room, either on the computer or thinking about how to catch a "homewrecker." Occasionally, I go out to buy alcohol and cigarettes.
When I return to my room, I feel like someone has moved my things.
Sometimes, I go an entire day without eating and don't feel hungry, while other times, I can't seem to feel full no matter how much I eat.
I often dream about my boyfriend going out with other girls.
I really hate the person I am now.
I feel that if I had done something better, I definitely wouldn't have been abandoned.
I took my sister's advice and saw a doctor, who said I have difficulty managing my emotions and prescribed some sedatives.
After taking the medication, I still feel unhappy; I just don't shake all over when I'm upset.
However, I still haven't had thoughts of ending my life.
The medication the doctor prescribed doesn't seem to work for me.
What should I do?
Qiao, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/10/29
Dr. Li Zhengfeng reply Psychiatry
Hello: First of all, welcome to your letter.
According to what you mentioned, it seems you are currently experiencing a state of depression.
The treatment for depression is not solely medication; some patients may also require psychotherapy and activity therapy for improvement.
I suggest seeking assistance from a professional psychologist.
Additionally, maintaining a regular routine and engaging in social activities can help expand your social circle and develop healthy hobbies, which may lead to better outcomes.
I wish you a speedy recovery from the challenges of depression.
Thank you.
Reply Date: 2006/10/29
More Info
It sounds like you are going through an incredibly challenging time, and I want to acknowledge the pain and confusion you are experiencing. The feelings of emotional turmoil, anxiety, and despair can be overwhelming, especially after a significant relationship loss. It’s important to understand that you are not alone in this struggle, and seeking help is a crucial step towards healing.
From what you’ve described, it seems you are dealing with a combination of emotional distress and anxiety that has been exacerbated by your past experiences, particularly the breakup with your ex-boyfriend. The feelings of worthlessness and the belief that your life lacks meaning are common symptoms of depression and anxiety. These feelings can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as increased alcohol consumption and smoking, which may provide temporary relief but ultimately contribute to a cycle of emotional pain.
The fact that you are experiencing physical symptoms, such as chest tightness and difficulty sleeping, indicates that your mental health struggles are manifesting in your body. This is not uncommon; mental health issues can often lead to physical symptoms, and vice versa. It’s also concerning that you feel disconnected from your current partner, interpreting their actions through a lens of suspicion and insecurity. This can create a toxic cycle in relationships, where your fears and anxieties may push your partner away, leading to further isolation and distress.
You mentioned that you have seen a doctor who prescribed calming medications, but you still feel unhappy. It’s important to remember that medication can take time to work, and it may not be the only solution. Therapy can be a powerful tool in conjunction with medication. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), for instance, can help you identify and challenge negative thought patterns, develop healthier coping strategies, and improve your emotional regulation.
Here are some steps you might consider taking:
1. Continue Seeking Professional Help: If you feel that the medication isn’t working, it’s essential to communicate this to your doctor. They may need to adjust your dosage or try a different medication. Additionally, consider asking for a referral to a therapist or counselor who can provide talk therapy.
2. Engage in Self-Care: While it may feel difficult, try to incorporate small self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include physical activity, which is known to boost mood, or mindfulness practices such as meditation or yoga. These activities can help ground you and provide a sense of calm.
3. Establish a Support System: It’s crucial to have people you can talk to about your feelings. This could be friends, family, or support groups. Sharing your experiences can help alleviate feelings of isolation and provide you with different perspectives.
4. Limit Alcohol and Substance Use: While it may seem like a way to cope, alcohol and drugs can worsen anxiety and depression in the long run. Try to find healthier ways to cope with your emotions.
5. Set Small Goals: Focus on small, achievable goals each day. This could be as simple as getting out of bed, taking a shower, or going for a short walk. Celebrating these small victories can help build a sense of accomplishment.
6. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques can help you stay present and reduce anxiety about the past or future. This can include deep breathing exercises, meditation, or simply taking a moment to observe your surroundings.
7. Explore Your Feelings: Journaling can be a helpful way to process your emotions. Write down your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This can help you gain clarity and insight into your emotional state.
Remember, healing is a journey, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. It’s also important to be patient with yourself as you navigate through these feelings. If you ever feel overwhelmed or have thoughts of self-harm, please reach out for immediate help from a mental health professional or a crisis hotline. You deserve support and care as you work through this difficult time.
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