Do I Have Depression? Symptoms and Seeking Help - Psychiatry

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Am I suffering from depression?


Hello Doctor: I would like to ask if my symptoms require me to see a doctor for treatment.
Since childhood, my mother often compared me to my sister.
Whenever my grades dropped, she would frequently call me worthless, saying things like "Why did I even give birth to you? It would have been better if you had never been born; even a piece of trash is better than you." Sometimes my sister would also mock me when we were younger.
There was an incident in elementary school where I stole money from my mother's purse to buy something, and after being caught, I told her it wasn't intentional.
She forgave me, and it never happened again.
I despised my sister for constantly mocking me about being poor.

Before middle school, other children heard encouraging words from their parents, while I only occasionally heard words like "dead" or "trash." After entering middle school, I became more withdrawn and developed a sharp tongue towards my classmates, which made me unpopular.
However, before graduation, a teacher said something that helped me gain some insight, so when I entered high school, I started to approach my classmates more actively, although I still spent time alone due to habit.
In college, things improved significantly; I became more proactive in socializing, and my classmates were very friendly, which made me happy.
However, during high school, there were several instances where I engaged in self-harm by using a small knife to cut my wrist, but not deeply, as I didn't want to die; I just wanted to feel pain.
After a car accident in my first year of high school, I had a deep cut on my face but didn't feel any pain.
Other children who had accidents received comforting words from their parents, but my father only said, "What were you doing that you weren't paying attention? You should have been more careful." So, during my second accident, I told my father I didn't want him to visit me in the hospital (luckily, he was working in China, and my mother rushed back to see me).
During my recovery from the second accident, I spent three months just eating, drinking, and sleeping.
Gradually, I realized that my enthusiasm for learning had diminished over the past 2-3 years.
I lost interest in reading the original books I used to love, and I lacked passion for everything.
Currently, I can only sleep with the help of sleeping pills or by listening to soft music, which has been the case for over a year.
I also tried gua sha therapy, but after just 2-3 strokes, I ended up with large bruises on my back, and the doctor said I was under too much stress.
While typing this, I sometimes tear up and my hands shake when I think about the past, and then my body starts to feel hot, almost like having a fever.
My shoulders are also extremely stiff.
In the past six months, I've often stayed up all night, possibly due to being alone at home.
My relationship with my family has fluctuated, sometimes worsening.
Therefore, I want to ask if I need to see a doctor and take medication for treatment.
However, I'm concerned that medication might affect my brain, as many people say it can make you dull.
Recently, my memory has also been deteriorating; I often forget what I said five minutes ago (unless it’s particularly important), which leads me to write down everything I need to do at my computer desk so I can see it the next day and avoid forgetting important tasks.

Yulin, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/11/20

Dr. Duan Yongzhang reply Psychiatry


Yulin: Hello! It is necessary for you to visit a psychiatric outpatient clinic.
It seems that you have been experiencing emotional distress for many years, and facing it alone can be very challenging.
Many individuals with similar issues have found improvement after seeking treatment in a psychiatric clinic.
In the outpatient setting, physicians not only provide medication management but also arrange or refer patients for psychotherapy, group therapy, or relaxation exercises based on individual circumstances.
If medication is needed, just follow the physician's instructions; it will not impair your intelligence.
In fact, persistent depression can lead to difficulties with concentration, memory decline, and slowed reactions, significantly impacting your daily life.
I hope you can seek assistance at the clinic soon, and I wish you a smooth and safe journey.

Reply Date: 2006/11/20

More Info


It sounds like you are experiencing a significant amount of emotional distress and turmoil, which can be overwhelming and confusing. Based on what you've shared, it is important to recognize that your symptoms may indeed align with those of depression or another mental health condition. Here are some key points to consider regarding your situation and the potential need for professional help.


Understanding Your Symptoms
1. Childhood Experiences: The negative comparisons and harsh criticisms from your mother and sister during your formative years can have a profound impact on your self-esteem and emotional well-being. Such experiences can lead to feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt, which are common in individuals with depression.

2. Self-Harm: Engaging in self-harm, even if it is not intended to be life-threatening, is a serious indicator of emotional distress. It often serves as a coping mechanism for individuals who feel overwhelmed by their emotions. This behavior suggests that you may be struggling to manage your feelings in a healthy way.

3. Loss of Interest: The gradual loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed, including reading and studying, is a hallmark symptom of depression. This anhedonia can make it difficult to engage with life and can exacerbate feelings of isolation.

4. Sleep Issues: Relying on sleep aids or music to fall asleep, along with experiencing insomnia, can indicate underlying anxiety or depression. Sleep disturbances are often intertwined with mental health issues and can further complicate your emotional state.

5. Physical Symptoms: The physical manifestations of stress, such as muscle tension, fatigue, and changes in appetite, are also common in individuals dealing with depression. The bruising from acupuncture suggests that your body is under significant stress, which can affect your overall health.

6. Memory and Concentration Problems: Difficulty with memory and concentration can be a result of depression, as it often affects cognitive functions. This can lead to frustration and further feelings of inadequacy.


Seeking Help
Given the complexity of your symptoms and the impact they have on your daily life, it is advisable to seek professional help. Here are some steps you can take:
1. Consult a Mental Health Professional: A psychologist or psychiatrist can provide a thorough assessment of your mental health. They can help determine whether you are experiencing depression or another condition and recommend appropriate treatment options.

2. Therapy: Engaging in therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can be beneficial. Therapy can provide you with tools to manage your emotions, improve your self-esteem, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

3. Medication: If a mental health professional recommends medication, it is important to understand that many people benefit from antidepressants. While there may be concerns about side effects, many medications are well-tolerated and can significantly improve quality of life. It is essential to discuss these concerns with your doctor.

4. Support Systems: Building a support network of friends, family, or support groups can help you feel less isolated. Sharing your experiences with others who understand can be incredibly validating.

5. Self-Care: Incorporating self-care practices into your daily routine can also help alleviate some symptoms. This includes regular exercise, a balanced diet, mindfulness practices, and engaging in hobbies that bring you joy.


Conclusion
Your feelings of distress and the symptoms you are experiencing are valid and warrant attention. It is crucial to take the step toward seeking help, as mental health is just as important as physical health. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are professionals who can guide you toward healing and recovery. Taking the first step to reach out for help can be daunting, but it is a significant move toward reclaiming your well-being.

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