Emotional Outbursts: A Guide to Managing Anger and Memory Issues

What is wrong with me?

Hello Dr.
Tsai, recently I have noticed that I seem to have difficulty controlling my temper.
In the past, when I argued with my husband, I tried my best to endure and not engage in a fight, but I would feel very frustrated and have thoughts of self-harm, constantly blaming myself and feeling sad, questioning the purpose of my existence.
However, lately, whenever we argue, I become extremely angry and cannot control my temper, loudly reprimanding him.
I don’t even realize that I am losing my temper until a friend points it out to me.
Additionally, my memory has been poor; I often forget what others say as soon as I turn away, and I frequently have to go back several times to remember what I intended to get.
Could you please tell me what might be happening to me? Thank you.

Fangfang, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2007/08/02

Dr. Cai Yunlin reply Psychiatry

Hello Fangfang,
Regarding your recent letter, it seems that you have been experiencing symptoms such as low mood, irritability, feelings of worthlessness, difficulty concentrating, and even some distressing thoughts.
These issues are interfering with your family life, and you feel unable to manage or overcome this emotional low on your own.
In this situation, I recommend seeking assistance from a psychiatrist or a psychosomatic specialist nearby.
This will allow for a better understanding of your condition to clarify the diagnosis, and also provide you with individualized support for the challenges you are facing.

Best wishes,
Dr.
Cai

Reply Date: 2007/08/02

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a combination of emotional dysregulation and memory issues, which can be quite distressing. Your situation is not uncommon, especially in the context of stress, anxiety, and potential underlying mental health conditions. Let's break down your concerns and explore some possible explanations and strategies for managing these challenges.

Emotional Outbursts
From your description, it seems that your emotional responses, particularly anger, have become more intense and less controllable. This can happen for several reasons:
1. Stress and Anxiety: High levels of stress and anxiety can lead to emotional outbursts. When we are overwhelmed, our ability to regulate emotions diminishes, making it easier to react impulsively. This might explain why you feel like you are not aware of your anger until someone points it out.

2. Coping Mechanisms: It appears that you have previously tried to suppress your anger, which can lead to a buildup of frustration. When emotions are bottled up, they can eventually explode, often in ways that feel disproportionate to the situation at hand.

3. Underlying Mental Health Issues: Conditions such as depression, anxiety disorders, or even mood disorders can contribute to difficulties in emotional regulation. If you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm or questioning your purpose in life, it is crucial to seek professional help.

Memory Issues
You also mentioned having trouble with memory, such as forgetting conversations or needing to return multiple times to remember what you were doing. This can be linked to several factors:
1. Cognitive Overload: When you are stressed or anxious, your brain can become overwhelmed, making it difficult to process and retain information. This cognitive overload can lead to forgetfulness and difficulty concentrating.

2. Emotional Distress: Emotional turmoil can interfere with memory formation. When you are upset, your brain may prioritize emotional responses over cognitive functions, leading to lapses in memory.

3. Potential Mental Health Conditions: Similar to emotional outbursts, memory issues can be associated with various mental health conditions, including anxiety disorders and depression. These conditions can affect your cognitive functions and overall mental clarity.

Strategies for Management
1. Seek Professional Help: It is essential to consult with a mental health professional who can provide a thorough evaluation and help you understand the underlying causes of your emotional and memory issues. Therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can be particularly effective in addressing emotional dysregulation and improving coping strategies.

2. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, and progressive muscle relaxation can help you manage stress and improve emotional regulation. These techniques can also enhance your focus and memory by reducing anxiety.

3. Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Instead of suppressing your emotions, find constructive ways to express them. This could include journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or engaging in physical activities that allow for emotional release.

4. Establish Routines: Creating structured routines can help improve memory and reduce forgetfulness. Use reminders, lists, and calendars to keep track of important tasks and appointments.

5. Limit Stressors: Identify and minimize sources of stress in your life. This might involve setting boundaries in relationships, practicing self-care, or seeking support from friends and family.

6. Monitor Your Health: Ensure that you are taking care of your physical health, as factors like sleep, nutrition, and exercise can significantly impact your emotional well-being and cognitive function.

Conclusion
Your experiences of emotional outbursts and memory difficulties are significant and deserve attention. By seeking professional help and implementing strategies to manage stress and emotions, you can work towards regaining control over your feelings and improving your memory. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and support is available to help you navigate these challenges.

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