and Addressing Your Child's Unusual Behavior

My child is exhibiting abnormal behavior?

Hello Dr.
Chen: My child is about to enter the third grade (born in 2001).
He attended a different elementary school in the first grade, and due to transportation issues, he transferred schools in the second grade.
In the second semester of second grade, I noticed that he had repeatedly pulled out his eyelashes.
When I asked him why he was doing this, he said his eyes were itchy.
I repeatedly warned him not to do this.
Today, I discovered that he had pulled out half of his eyebrows.
When I asked him why he did this, he said it was because he was fighting with his grandmother over what to watch on TV, and she didn't want to watch the show he wanted.
I would like to ask Dr.
Chen what I can do to help him correct these concerning behaviors.

wen, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2009/07/27

Dr. Chen Zhicai reply Psychiatry

Trichotillomania is not just a behavioral deviation; it is important to understand whether there are other psychopathological factors involved.
It is advisable to seek nearby pediatric and adolescent psychiatric care.
Dr.
Chen Zhi-Cai.

Reply Date: 2009/07/27

More Info

Addressing unusual behaviors in children, such as pulling out their eyelashes or eyebrows, can be concerning for parents. It's essential to approach this situation with understanding and a structured plan. Based on your description, your child is exhibiting behaviors that may be linked to emotional distress or anxiety. Here are some steps you can take to help your child and address these behaviors effectively.

Understanding the Behavior
1. Identify Triggers: It's crucial to observe when and why your child engages in these behaviors. In your case, it seems that the behavior escalated after a conflict with his grandmother over television programming. This suggests that the behavior might be a response to frustration or a way to cope with emotional distress. Keeping a journal of when these incidents occur can help identify patterns and triggers.

2. Emotional Expression: Children often struggle to express their emotions verbally. Pulling out hair can be a physical manifestation of anxiety or frustration. Encourage your child to express his feelings in words rather than through actions. You can ask open-ended questions about his feelings and experiences, helping him articulate what he is going through.

3. Teach Coping Mechanisms: Introduce your child to healthier coping strategies. This could include deep breathing exercises, drawing, or engaging in physical activities that can help release pent-up energy and emotions. Teaching mindfulness techniques can also be beneficial, as they help children focus on the present moment and reduce anxiety.

Setting Boundaries and Consequences
1. Clear Communication: Make sure your child understands that pulling out hair is not acceptable. Use simple language to explain why this behavior is harmful. Reinforce that his body is important and that there are better ways to handle frustration.

2. Consistent Consequences: If your child continues to engage in this behavior despite warnings, it may be necessary to implement consistent consequences. For example, if he pulls out hair, he might lose privileges such as screen time or favorite activities for a short period. Ensure that the consequences are fair and related to the behavior.

Seeking Professional Help
1. Consult a Pediatrician or Child Psychologist: If the behavior persists or escalates, it may be time to seek professional help. A pediatrician can rule out any underlying medical issues, while a child psychologist can provide strategies tailored to your child's needs. They may use cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques to help your child manage anxiety and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

2. Family Involvement: Involve family members in the process. Educate them about your child's behavior and the importance of a supportive environment. Encourage them to respond positively when your child expresses emotions appropriately and to avoid punitive measures that could exacerbate anxiety.

Creating a Supportive Environment
1. Routine and Stability: Children thrive in environments where they feel secure. Establishing a consistent daily routine can provide a sense of stability and predictability, which may help reduce anxiety.

2. Positive Reinforcement: Celebrate small victories. When your child expresses emotions verbally instead of resorting to hair-pulling, acknowledge and praise this behavior. Positive reinforcement can encourage him to continue using healthier coping strategies.

3. Open Dialogue: Maintain an open line of communication with your child. Let him know that he can talk to you about anything that bothers him without fear of judgment. This can help him feel more secure and less likely to resort to harmful behaviors.

Conclusion
Addressing unusual behaviors in children requires patience, understanding, and a proactive approach. By identifying triggers, teaching coping mechanisms, setting clear boundaries, and seeking professional help when necessary, you can support your child in overcoming these challenges. Remember, the goal is to create a nurturing environment where your child feels safe to express his emotions and learn healthier ways to cope with frustration and anxiety.

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