Am I Sick? Emotional Struggles and Mental Health

Am I sick?

I have been suffering from lower back pain for about 1.2 years.
My mom keeps telling me to stop exercising altogether! I followed her advice and tried to avoid intense activities, but occasionally my classmates drag me to play badminton or similar sports, and my back starts hurting again.
When I got home, I told my mom that my back was sore from exercising, and she said, "I told you not to do any exercise." I replied that exercising in cold weather helps keep my body warm.
She sternly told me, "Then don't come home complaining to me..." I felt very sad at that moment; I just wanted someone to care about me, even if it was just a simple "Are you okay?"
There was another time when I was drawing at school and got really tired.
I complained to a classmate, saying, "Ah, I'm so tired; I've been drawing for so long, my eyes hurt..." I repeated this a few times, and my classmate, annoyed, told me, "If you're tired, then don't draw; stop complaining." Hearing that made me really upset.
I felt sad and wondered if I did something wrong.
I just wanted someone to care about me.
In my class, there are very few girls, so I can't find anyone to share my feelings with.
I hoped that by expressing myself, someone would show concern for me.
Am I really doing something wrong to be scolded like this?
I've always been someone who cries easily.
Sometimes I feel very sad and down, often hiding in places where no one can see me to cry.
My classmates think I might have depression.
Because of this, I frequently feel low, sad, and "often cry," which almost led to a breakup with my boyfriend.
I don't want to cry, but I can't help it, and my mood drops.
When I daydream or take naps (even late naps), I sometimes think about random things, like my parents having an accident or recalling bad memories related to money.
After that, I end up sad and crying under the blanket.
I can't sleep well at school and lack energy.

Occasionally, when I argue with someone or feel emotional, or when someone asks about me out of concern, tears inexplicably flow down.
I feel sad, and the more I talk, the more I cry, but I can't seem to stop.
I really dislike being this way; I hate that I'm so emotional, and I worry that in the end, others will dislike me too.
Doctor, may I ask if this means I have a problem? Thank you!

Miss Zhang, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2010/12/27

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello, having psychological distress and emotional issues is common, and talking to someone can be very helpful.
However, we must also recognize that others have their own commitments and may be experiencing their own mood fluctuations.
At times, this can make it seem like they are less patient with us.
Therefore, it is important not to immediately feel unlikable or lose confidence.

In clinical practice, I have observed that many patients in psychiatry tend to focus excessively on themselves.
This is a human tendency, but it can make it difficult to shift one's mindset and thoughts, making it harder to change feelings of depression and obsessive delusions.
Additionally, this self-focus can lead to a diminished ability to care about the people and things around us, causing one to miss out on the vibrant and interesting aspects of life.
It can also limit interpersonal relationships.
If you find that you often feel down or easily cry, seeking help from a psychiatrist is a valid option.

Wishing you a Happy New Year and all the best.

Sincerely,
Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan

Reply Date: 2010/12/27

More Info

It sounds like you are going through a very challenging time, both physically and emotionally. Your experiences of chronic back pain, feelings of sadness, and emotional instability are significant and deserve attention. It’s important to recognize that what you’re feeling is valid, and you are not alone in this struggle.

From what you’ve described, it seems like you are experiencing symptoms that could be associated with depression or anxiety. The fact that you often feel low, cry easily, and have thoughts that lead you to feel hopeless or overwhelmed indicates that you might be dealing with emotional distress that could benefit from professional support. It’s crucial to understand that these feelings are not a reflection of your worth or character; they are symptoms of a condition that can be treated.

Your physical condition, such as chronic back pain, can also contribute to your emotional state. Chronic pain can lead to feelings of frustration, helplessness, and sadness, which can exacerbate mental health issues. It’s understandable that your mother is concerned about your physical health and may be overly cautious about your activities. However, it’s also important for you to express your need for emotional support and understanding. Communication with your family about your feelings can be challenging, especially if they don’t fully understand what you’re going through.

You mentioned feeling isolated, especially since you have few peers to confide in. This isolation can intensify feelings of sadness and loneliness. It’s essential to seek connections, whether through friends, support groups, or mental health professionals. Talking to someone who understands can provide relief and help you process your emotions.

Crying is a natural emotional response, and it doesn’t make you weak or unworthy. It’s a way for your body to release built-up emotions. However, if you find that you are crying frequently and it interferes with your daily life, it might be a sign that you need to seek help. A mental health professional can provide you with coping strategies and therapeutic techniques to manage your emotions more effectively.

You also mentioned that your classmates have suggested you might have depression. While it’s not appropriate for anyone to diagnose you without a professional assessment, it’s worth considering that your symptoms align with common signs of depression. Seeking help from a psychologist or psychiatrist can provide you with a clearer understanding of your mental health and the appropriate steps to take.

In terms of treatment, mental health professionals can offer various options, including therapy, counseling, and, if necessary, medication. Therapy can help you explore your feelings, develop coping mechanisms, and work through the challenges you face. Medication may be prescribed to help manage symptoms if deemed appropriate.

Regarding your concerns about being seen as a burden or annoying to others, it’s important to remember that everyone has their struggles, and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. You deserve to have your feelings acknowledged and validated. It’s okay to ask for help and express your needs.

In conclusion, you are not “sick” in a way that defines you, but you are experiencing significant emotional and physical challenges that warrant attention. Please consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can provide you with the support you need. You are worthy of care and understanding, and taking the step to seek help is a courageous and important decision. Remember, you are not alone, and there are people who want to help you through this difficult time.

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