Emotional Issues in Children: Coping with Loss and Isolation - Psychiatry

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Children's emotional issues?


Hello Dr.
Liang, my mother-in-law passed away over 100 days ago, and my daughter, who was raised by her, seems to have not changed.
My daughter, who is in the first year of middle school, is currently experiencing emotional issues, including skipping school and not bathing.
She is not interacting with her two younger brothers and isolates herself in her room when she gets home.
I have tried to show her care, but there has been no improvement.
What should I do?

Mrs. Jiang, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2011/05/20

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry


Dear Mrs.
Jiang,
Generally speaking, the grief over the loss of a loved one tends to begin to subside after about two months.
Your daughter is currently exhibiting symptoms such as skipping school, not bathing, isolating herself in her room, and not interacting with others, which are indeed concerning.
Your efforts to provide care and support are commendable, and it may also be beneficial to involve other important people in her life to encourage and support her, helping her realize that her health and happiness are significant to many.
Given the duration and severity of her current symptoms, it would be best to encourage her to seek evaluation from a mental health professional.
A physician can provide a professional assessment and recommendations through face-to-face consultation.
Wishing her a speedy recovery.
Sincerely,
Dr.
Liang Sun-Yuan
Changhua Hospital, Department of Health

Reply Date: 2011/05/20

More Info


I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your mother-in-law and the challenges your daughter is facing. Grief can profoundly affect children, especially when they have formed strong attachments to caregivers. It's not uncommon for children to exhibit emotional and behavioral changes following the loss of a loved one, and your daughter's withdrawal and changes in behavior are signals that she may be struggling to process her feelings.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that grief is a complex process, and children may not express their emotions in ways that are easily recognizable. They might not fully understand their feelings or know how to articulate them, leading to behaviors such as isolation, avoidance, or regression in self-care routines. Your daughter's refusal to engage with her siblings and her tendency to isolate herself in her room are common reactions to grief, especially if she feels overwhelmed by her emotions.

Here are some strategies that may help you support your daughter during this difficult time:
1. Open Communication: Encourage her to talk about her feelings. Create a safe space where she feels comfortable expressing her emotions without fear of judgment. You might say something like, "I know you miss Grandma, and it's okay to feel sad or angry about it. I'm here to listen if you want to talk."
2. Normalize Grief: Help her understand that grief is a normal response to loss. Share your own feelings about the loss and let her know that it's okay to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, or confusion.

3. Engage in Activities Together: Try to engage her in activities that she enjoys or that can help her express her feelings, such as drawing, writing, or playing games. Sometimes, creative outlets can help children process their emotions more effectively than direct conversation.

4. Routine and Structure: Maintaining a routine can provide a sense of stability and security. Encourage her to participate in daily activities, even if she resists at first. This could include simple tasks like helping with dinner or going for a walk together.

5. Encourage Social Interaction: While it’s important to respect her need for space, gently encourage her to interact with her siblings and friends. Social connections can be a vital source of support during difficult times.

6. Professional Support: If her emotional state does not improve or worsens, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional who specializes in child psychology. They can provide her with coping strategies and a safe environment to express her feelings.

7. Model Healthy Coping: Show her healthy ways to cope with grief and stress. This could include practicing mindfulness, engaging in physical activity, or discussing feelings openly. Children often learn by observing their parents, so demonstrating healthy emotional expression can be beneficial.

8. Patience and Understanding: Grieving is a process that takes time. Be patient with her as she navigates her feelings. Let her know that you are there for her, and that it’s okay to take her time to heal.

In conclusion, your daughter's behavior is a natural response to the loss she has experienced. By providing her with love, understanding, and appropriate support, you can help her navigate this challenging time. Remember, it’s important to take care of your own emotional well-being as well, as this will enable you to be a strong support for her. If you find that your efforts are not yielding positive changes, don't hesitate to reach out to a professional for guidance.

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