How to Shift Your Mindset When Feeling Overwhelmed?

How to change your mindset?

During work, I can manage my tasks well, but after hours or internally, I feel a heavy sense of loss and helplessness (with my hands on my cheeks resting on the table), which makes me uncomfortable.
However, others can't see it.
For example, at home, when the family business isn't doing well, hearing my father's sighs or complaints deeply affects me.
I even wonder if it's because I'm particularly sensitive to these things.
It seems like whenever I go downstairs, I always happen to hear discouraging words, even though this is my father's issue.
Everyone has their ups and downs, but I tend to take it to heart and feel an overwhelming pressure.
I've thought about it, and perhaps it's a sense of 'powerlessness'—the feeling that I can't change anything.
This often leads me to feel similarly about various aspects of my life, feeling helpless.
How can I break free from this? Maybe it's something I've learned, and I should just stop learning it.
But how can I change such a habit?
I often feel mentally burdened, and I think the only thing that could change my situation is finding a stable job, but then I feel inadequate, as if I can't pass civil service exams, which brings another kind of pain.

I would like to ask, is medication helpful? Because it seems that the impact on my work doesn't carry that heavy feeling, and only I know how I feel.
For me, it feels like achieving my goals is the only way for things to be different; otherwise, my situation hasn't changed at all! So how can I shift my mindset? How can I achieve that? I don't want to have the thought of "nothing I do makes a difference" anymore.

ia, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2011/09/10

Dr. Lin Junyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello, it sounds like your negative thinking is causing you distress, but from your letter, it seems that your work performance has not been significantly affected.
Typically, this situation may indicate mild depression.
The good news is that medication is not the only option for this condition! I suggest that you break the cycle of "sighing and feeling down" and the negative feelings of "wanting to change but feeling unable to." The first step is to set some personal guidelines and take concrete actions on things you've been thinking about for a long time but haven't acted on.
These don't have to be major changes like switching jobs; instead, focus on manageable tasks such as organizing your room, gardening, or exercising once a week.
These small, actionable steps can help you regain a sense of control over your life and change your perception of yourself and your environment, leading to positive experiences and paving the way toward larger goals!

Reply Date: 2011/09/10

More Info

Feeling overwhelmed is a common experience, especially when faced with external pressures such as family dynamics, work stress, or personal expectations. It sounds like you are grappling with feelings of helplessness and frustration, particularly in relation to your family's business struggles and your own perceived limitations. Here are some strategies to help shift your mindset when feeling overwhelmed.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
The first step in managing overwhelming feelings is to acknowledge them. It's okay to feel sad, frustrated, or helpless. These emotions are valid responses to your circumstances. Instead of suppressing these feelings, allow yourself to experience them. Journaling can be a helpful tool for this; writing down your thoughts can provide clarity and help you process your emotions.

2. Identify Triggers
You mentioned that you are particularly affected by your father's sighs or complaints about the family business. Identifying specific triggers can help you understand why certain situations impact you so deeply. Once you recognize these triggers, you can work on strategies to cope with them. For example, if you know that hearing negative comments affects your mood, you might choose to limit your exposure to those conversations or find ways to mentally prepare yourself before engaging.

3. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness techniques can be incredibly effective in managing overwhelming feelings. Mindfulness involves being present in the moment and observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help ground you and reduce anxiety. When you feel overwhelmed, take a few moments to breathe deeply and focus on your breath. This can help bring your attention back to the present and away from spiraling thoughts.

4. Reframe Your Thoughts
Cognitive reframing is a powerful technique that involves changing the way you think about a situation. Instead of viewing your father's struggles as a reflection of your own inadequacies, try to see them as separate from your self-worth. Remind yourself that everyone faces challenges, and it’s okay to not have control over every situation. You can also practice positive affirmations, reminding yourself of your strengths and capabilities.

5. Set Realistic Goals
You mentioned feeling pressure to achieve certain goals, such as finding a stable job. While having goals is important, it’s equally important to set realistic and achievable ones. Break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate small victories along the way, as this can help build your confidence and motivation.

6. Seek Support
Talking to someone about your feelings can provide relief and perspective. This could be a trusted friend, family member, or a mental health professional. Sometimes, just expressing what you’re going through can lighten the emotional load. If you feel comfortable, consider discussing your feelings with your father; he may not realize the impact his words have on you.

7. Consider Professional Help
If your feelings of overwhelm persist and significantly impact your daily life, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A therapist can provide you with tools and strategies tailored to your specific situation. Medication may also be an option if your feelings are linked to anxiety or depression, but this should be discussed with a healthcare provider.

8. Engage in Self-Care
Prioritize self-care activities that bring you joy and relaxation. This could include hobbies, exercise, or spending time in nature. Engaging in activities that you enjoy can help shift your focus away from negative thoughts and improve your overall mood.

Conclusion
Shifting your mindset when feeling overwhelmed is a process that takes time and practice. By acknowledging your feelings, identifying triggers, practicing mindfulness, reframing your thoughts, setting realistic goals, seeking support, considering professional help, and engaging in self-care, you can begin to create a more positive and resilient mindset. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and taking small steps can lead to significant changes over time.

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