Overcoming Inner Burdens: Navigating Anxiety in Education

Feeling emotionally burdened?

School has started for a while now, and I suddenly feel like I'm back in a state of anxiety after having adjusted well initially.
This may be due to: 1.
The upcoming teacher recruitment exams, and my reluctance to study.
2.
Issues in teaching that weigh heavily on me, such as the entire class being sent back to the classroom by the subject teacher because two students had a disagreement and kicked chairs.
A friend told me that the subject teacher should also take responsibility instead of shifting it all to the homeroom teacher.
The subject teacher was angry, but did they handle it? It just feels like they think the homeroom teacher didn't manage well.
My friend comforted me by saying that we can't expect all kids to behave perfectly! However, I wonder if thinking this way is just making excuses.
Parents say I'm not strict enough, so the kids aren't afraid of me.
Perhaps they want an authoritative teacher, and they expect the students to behave well.
Parents want me to always be on the lookout for students using foul language.
I told them that I would definitely address it if I heard it, but they expect me to check on the kids in their secret corners at all times.
I feel like I need some breathing space; if I haven't heard anything, I shouldn't have to go looking for it.
I was initially adjusting well and gradually accepting myself, but now I'm doubting whether my personality is strong enough or authoritative enough.
Is it really my fault that the students aren't afraid of me? Last semester, I could at least take pride in the fact that many parents said their children were happier in my class compared to before.
But this seems to be a double-edged sword; when parents are dissatisfied, it turns into the kids not being as well-behaved as before.
Now, I can't firmly stand my ground and start to doubt myself.
I clearly believe that happy learning leads to better outcomes, and childhood is precious.
I trust that they will have wonderful memories, but this is something I have to bear.
When a class doesn't seem as quiet, and as the semester progresses and students become more familiar with each other—and even figure out the teacher—discipline requires even more effort from me.
As a result, I wonder if I should be a more authoritative teacher; at least that would make management easier.

Additionally, I think part of my confusion stems from the fact that every year I have to go through evaluations, which feels terrible.
I'm always worried about whether I'm good enough to keep my job, and "good enough" might be measured by how well I manage order in the classroom.
So, I feel lost, or perhaps I'm just worried about my job security.
I want to know how to be "unafraid of challenges." I know I've done my best and am serious about my work, but I even feel that what I provide for the children could be their future wealth, which may not be evident in the present (I usually share a lot).
However, when the children misbehave, it seems like my opportunities for educational moments lack persuasive power.
I believe I have instilled some concepts in the children, but why do I feel so full of doubt now? Did I make the wrong choices? In reality, it’s just a few things, yet they have made it so that I can't even sleep well, waking up easily and feeling sore all over, without a true sense of rest.
After six months of treatment, the doctor said I don't need medication anymore, but I tend to be self-critical and suggested that I live in the moment.
However, I’m even more frustrated that I can't do that.
I can’t just stop being hard on myself! Living in the moment seems to be an endless cycle during my visits to the doctor, where I feel like I'm just going in circles, getting frustrated about when I can stop discussing the same topics.
The doctor isn’t annoyed, but I am.
I wonder when I will be able to break free from this? Each visit still revolves around the same topics.
Am I hitting a bottleneck? Now I have regular follow-ups without medication, but I'm worried that it might be like this for another six months? The situation remains the same? It seems like the follow-ups help, but it also feels like I'm just treading water.

sel, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2012/02/23

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello, each child has a unique personality and background, making it quite challenging to teach all children to be obedient in school.
In fact, it often requires collaboration among parents, mentors, and other teachers or staff to achieve better results.
The role of a teacher is to educate children; as long as the intentions are good and the disciplinary methods are reasonable, there usually won't be significant issues.
Parental suggestions can serve as references, but no one can possibly fulfill all parents' recommendations.
In our work, we strive to "be the best version of ourselves." Due to differences in personality and background, what works well for others may not necessarily work for us.
I can sense that you are a caring teacher who values your students, and I also encourage you to take good care of yourself.
A happy teacher is more likely to foster happy students.
Changing the habit of self-blame is not easy and requires continuous practice, but the results of this practice are worthwhile.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2012/02/23

More Info

Navigating the complexities of anxiety, especially in an educational setting, can be a daunting challenge. Your experience reflects a common struggle among educators and students alike, where the pressures of performance, expectations from parents and colleagues, and the inherent unpredictability of classroom dynamics can lead to significant emotional turmoil.
Firstly, it’s essential to acknowledge the validity of your feelings. Anxiety often stems from a combination of external pressures and internal expectations. In your case, the dual pressures of preparing for teaching evaluations and managing classroom behavior can create a perfect storm of stress. The fact that you are reflecting on your teaching style and its impact on your students indicates a level of self-awareness that is commendable. However, it’s crucial to balance this self-reflection with self-compassion.

One of the key aspects of managing anxiety is understanding that perfection is unattainable. It’s natural to want to create an ideal learning environment, but the reality is that classrooms are dynamic spaces filled with diverse personalities and behaviors. Your desire for a harmonious classroom where students feel happy and engaged is admirable, but it’s also important to recognize that not every moment will align with that vision. Some students may struggle with behavior, and that’s part of the learning process—not a reflection of your worth as an educator.

The pressure from parents to maintain strict discipline can further complicate your role. It’s understandable that you feel torn between being a nurturing figure and an authoritative one. However, it’s vital to establish your teaching philosophy and communicate it effectively to parents. You might consider holding a meeting or sending out a newsletter that outlines your approach to education, emphasizing the importance of emotional well-being alongside academic achievement. This can help set realistic expectations and foster a collaborative relationship with parents.

In terms of your own mental health, it’s crucial to prioritize self-care. The physical symptoms you describe, such as difficulty sleeping and muscle tension, are often manifestations of chronic stress. Engaging in relaxation techniques, such as mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, or even gentle yoga, can help alleviate some of this tension. Additionally, setting aside time for activities that bring you joy outside of teaching can provide a necessary outlet for stress relief.

If you find that your anxiety continues to interfere with your daily life, it may be beneficial to explore additional therapeutic options. While you mentioned feeling stuck in therapy, consider discussing this with your therapist. Sometimes, changing the approach or focusing on different aspects of your anxiety can lead to breakthroughs. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for anxiety, as it helps individuals reframe negative thought patterns and develop coping strategies.

Lastly, remember that it’s okay to seek support from your peers. Sharing your experiences with fellow educators can foster a sense of community and provide you with practical strategies for managing classroom challenges. They may have faced similar situations and can offer insights or simply a listening ear.

In conclusion, navigating anxiety in an educational context is a multifaceted challenge that requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to adapt. By acknowledging your feelings, setting realistic expectations, prioritizing self-care, and seeking support, you can create a more balanced approach to your role as an educator. Remember, it’s a journey, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time.

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