How to Encourage a Reluctant Family Member to Seek Medical Help?

Q: How to Encourage a Reluctant Family Member to Seek Medical Help?

Dear user /1/35： It is evident that you are very concerned about your brother's current situation. <br>For the sake of both you and your brother, it is advisable to have him undergo a comprehensive evaluation at a psychiatric outpatient clinic. <br>The possibility of involuntary

How to enforce medical treatment?

Hello Doctor: I would like to ask a question.
My brother has not worked at all since he was discharged from the military over ten years ago (he is physically healthy).
Initially, our parents would constantly nag him, but he still refuses to work and spends all day at home.
Our parents are both over 60, and especially my father, who is 66 years old, is still climbing on rooftops.
Watching my father grow thinner breaks my heart, but my brother remains completely indifferent.
Not only does he not work, but at home, he acts like a lord (waiting for food to be served and leaving his dishes for others to clean).
At first, he would occasionally go out to play basketball or visit bookstores, but in recent years, he has gone out less and less (even becoming lazy about showering, washing only once a week in the heat).
In the past eight months, he has only left the house once (to get a haircut).
I have been telling my mother and my married sister whether we should force him to seek medical help (since he would never go to a doctor on his own), but aside from me, the family is afraid of losing face, so they have allowed his behavior to continue, living day by day.
I have directly told my parents that if one day they pass away, please take him with them because I have neither the ability nor the obligation to support him.
Not to mention outsiders, I have a very low opinion of him (a typical slacker living off others).
He knows this, which is why I have had conflicts with him more than once (we even fought a few months ago) over trivial matters, like doing laundry.
It’s ridiculous; he has never contributed a dime to the household.
Most of the bills and expenses are covered by me and my married sister, yet he tries to control everything, even forbidding me from using the washing machine.
My mother and sister are afraid he might become violent, so they completely avoid conflicts with him and even tell me to ignore him (but I am very dissatisfied).
I don’t know what to do.
How can we force him to seek medical help? Should we call social services to intervene?

Wunai, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2013/09/18

Dr. Hou Angting reply Family Medicine

Dear user /1/35: It is evident that you are very concerned about your brother's current situation.
For the sake of both you and your brother, it is advisable to have him undergo a comprehensive evaluation at a psychiatric outpatient clinic.
The possibility of involuntary hospitalization can only be pursued if the patient exhibits self-harming or violent behaviors.
Therefore, it is essential to communicate with your family and your brother regarding this matter.
Social services may also be able to provide some assistance, so I recommend that you reach out to them for support.

Reply Date: 2013/09/18

More Info

Encouraging a reluctant family member to seek medical help can be a challenging and sensitive issue, especially when mental health is involved. It’s clear from your description that your brother is exhibiting signs of significant distress and possibly a mental health condition that is impacting his ability to function in daily life. Here are some strategies that may help you and your family encourage him to seek the help he needs.

Understanding the Situation
First, it’s important to recognize that your brother may be experiencing a mental health issue that affects his perception of reality and his willingness to seek help. Many individuals with mental health conditions, such as depression or anxiety, often lack insight into their situation, a phenomenon known as "anosognosia." This can make them resistant to the idea that they need help.

Open Communication
1. Create a Safe Space for Dialogue: Approach your brother in a non-confrontational manner. Express your concerns without judgment. Use "I" statements to communicate how his behavior affects you and the family. For example, "I feel worried when I see you not taking care of yourself," rather than "You need to get your act together."
2. Listen Actively: Sometimes, simply listening to his feelings and frustrations can help him feel understood. This might open the door for him to discuss his thoughts about seeking help.

Involve Family Members
3. Unified Family Approach: It may be beneficial for your family to come together and discuss your concerns as a unit. When he sees that everyone is worried about him, it may prompt him to reconsider his stance on seeking help.

4. Educate Your Family: Sometimes, family members may fear the stigma associated with mental health issues. Educating your family about mental health can help reduce this stigma and encourage a more supportive environment.

Professional Intervention
5. Consult a Professional: If your brother continues to resist help, consider consulting a mental health professional yourself. They can provide guidance on how to approach the situation and may suggest interventions that can help.

6. Involuntary Commitment: In extreme cases where there is a risk of harm to himself or others, involuntary commitment may be necessary. This usually involves contacting local mental health services or law enforcement to assess the situation. However, this should be a last resort, as it can lead to feelings of betrayal and resentment.

Practical Steps
7. Suggest Activities: Encourage him to engage in activities that promote mental well-being, such as exercise, hobbies, or social events. Sometimes, a gentle nudge towards a more active lifestyle can help improve mood and motivation.

8. Set Boundaries: It’s important to set boundaries regarding what you are willing to tolerate in terms of his behavior. While it’s essential to be supportive, you also need to take care of your own mental health.
9. Explore Community Resources: Look into local mental health resources, support groups, or community services that can provide assistance. Sometimes, having an external support system can make a significant difference.

Conclusion
Encouraging a reluctant family member to seek medical help is a delicate process that requires patience, understanding, and sometimes professional intervention. It’s crucial to approach the situation with empathy and to recognize that change may take time. Your brother may not respond immediately, but your consistent support and concern can plant the seeds for future change. Remember, you are not alone in this; many families face similar challenges, and seeking help for yourself can also provide you with the tools to better support your brother.

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